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Evaneclaire Offline
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Name: Claire
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I don't know how to feel... - January 17th 2010, 02:34 PM

Lately I've been feeling really down and I'm not sure why. I used to suffer from depression but it hasn't been bad for a long time. I feel guilty for thinking it's coming back because no my life isn't that bad but I just don't know how to feel or what is causing me to feel like this.
I've been in a relationship for a while now and my boyfriend is amazing, the only problem is he works away so sometimes I don't get to see him for months at a time. I hate it. I know this is bound to make me feel down but I don't want him to think I'm depressed because he loves his job and he's earning qualifications at the same time so I'm happy for him to keep doing it until the summer, I just feel so selfish for feeling the way I do and wanting him home and crying etc. Especially since he's been back for nearly 2 months for December / Jan and now he's gone back just today, I feel like my heart has been stolen away with him too. It's safe to say I'm in love with him.
I also go to University, to be fair I've not really made any good mates yet, a few though and I don't really like the people I live with although I'm lucky enough to live with one of my childhood bestfriends. I still feel down though, all the time. I just don't know what to do. University work is also dragging me down and also the fact I still haven't received my student loan so I have literally no money... So I can't go out to socialise or anything.
I get on with my parents more now that I don't live with them but I only see them once a week or so.
I get along well with my boyfriends family and I see his sister a lot but then I'm just reminded of my boyfriend who I miss so much. I only get to talk to him through texts, phonecalls and online and sometimes it feels like he doesn't contact me much, although it's probably due to him working and then being too tired, and slight paranoia on my behalf.

It feels a bit better getting this all out if I'm honest.
I just don't know what to do really.
Thank you to whoever takes the time to read this.


Hey, I'm Claire
Under your spell again...
I can't say no to you...<3
   
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Elizabeth Offline
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Re: I don't know how to feel... - January 17th 2010, 03:51 PM

Hi Claire

In your title, you said you don't know how to feel. I had this problem a lot. However, one day someone gave me a long list of feelings. It was just words, but it was a list of feelings. It had everything from happy to provoked to compassionate. It was so helpful to pin point how I was feeling. You can find a list of your own on Google.

I think that is it normal to feel a little depressed when your boyfriend is gone. However, it sounds like his job is really helping him. If he gets a good job and has this training, he could have more time off in a better job in the long run. Everything works out, you just have to give it time. You said you text him and call him. This is a great way to keep a connection.

As for having money to hang out, you don't need money to hang out. If you live in a dorm, then you can hang out with everyone and just chill and watch TV. You can also get together with people and make study groups. Study groups are a great way to make more friends and help you with your school work.
I really hope everything works out. Just give it time.
You can always private message me if you want to talk.
   
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Evaneclaire Offline
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Re: I don't know how to feel... - January 17th 2010, 04:40 PM

Thank you, Elizabeth. I have just googled the word list and I'm looking at it now. That was a really nice idea. I just don't know what to do after I realise what exactly I'm feeling...

I know it'll be better for my boyfriend to do the course, I'm happy for him just being away from him is so hard. You're right though that it'll help in the long run. Sometimes I just wish we could talk more.

I don't live in the dorms on campus. I live outside campus and 8 of us share a house. I don't see the two guys or one of the girls much and I don't like 3 of the girls very much. I have my friend there which I guess is good. As for study groups, that's a good idea, thank you. I just don't know how I'd go about joining one, although I guess I could ask a lecturer about that.

Thank you, Elizabeth.


Hey, I'm Claire
Under your spell again...
I can't say no to you...<3
   
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Elizabeth Offline
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Re: I don't know how to feel... - January 17th 2010, 05:06 PM

I'm glad you were able to find the list helpful. So once you have your feeling pin-pointed, I think making a list of why you feel that why would be helpful. I know sometimes when I make a list it helps me because I can look at everything and figure out how to fix it. Sometimes you have to look at the list and realize that some things may be out of your control and that there is nothing you can do about them. Sometimes realizing this takes time, it isn't something that happends over night. It is a process, so give yourself time.

As for joining or making a study group, I would ask your classmates. You can just say something like, "Hey, you want to study and work on some pracitce problems? I'm having trouble with ____ but I'm really good at ____. I'll ask at few people and you can invite some of your friends and can meet at the library at ___." People might be shy and be having trouble in class and are looking for friends too!
   
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