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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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living hell - January 21st 2010, 11:30 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Why are we living when there is no happiness in life?
I want to know why...
when I wake up every morning and life is a nightmare,
the only place I can find peace is when I sleep...so why am I doing this? Why can't I just put myself to sleep forever and never have to wake up again, to find peace forever and don't dream this nightmare ever again.

There is no point in living anyway, we wake up and go to school or go to work and then go home to sleep. What is the fucking point of doing like this?

If I have to live, I want to be HAPPY, but I don't even know how to be happy..
I only know a place where happiness lies, and that is death.
I was afraid of going to hell for committing suicide, but I start to feel that I am already in hell. If I die and go to hell it won't be much different.

you guys please tell me what keeps you going, if there is anything it has to be worth bearing the pain. It seems like nothing matters to me anymore.

These walls that I can't break down...
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: living hell - January 21st 2010, 12:20 PM

hey .

i know it all seems tough for now, but have you considered side activities that have happy emotions involved, like maybe shopping, mixing around or anything of the like? because from what you said

"we go to school, or go to work, and then go back home to sleep"

it shouldnt be like that. everyday should be filled with meaningful activities that colour our daily goabouts and give us stuff such as smiles and happiness i believe that s what you need... something to break the monotonousness, something that you do just for... fun

i understand that the depression has a bigger root behind it, and it has to be solved. You can definitely tell us what it is.. and we will help.

update us and bump this thread.. i and we want to help you and make everything better. there's so many good things for you to appreciate !

Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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I'm firing mah Hugs!
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Re: living hell - January 21st 2010, 02:59 PM

I tried everything, and nothing gives me happiness.
I keep asking myself all the time 'why am I doing this?'
what's the point of it, and I hate it I hate myself for being like this.
I just want to be someone who can be happy.

I am not sure the reason for feeling so depressed.
When I was 13 my mom had cancer and I lived with it, I saw her go through treatment and nobody was there telling me everything was gonna be ok. So, I spent the passed 5 years living with the fear that she would leave me, and se actually did last month.
I thought, all these things that happened shaped the person i am today - pessimistic, hate my life, hate this world, no faith in anything, don't want to believe in religion, lack of confidence. but I just don't know, maybe I have always been like this, maybe this is me...and nothing has changed it.

I just feel so alone, though I have so many people who love me but I don't know why there is this emptiness and this whole in my heart all the time. I should appreciate of what I have, but I only need my mom back though I have to pay everything in return.

These walls that I can't break down...
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Re: living hell - January 21st 2010, 04:00 PM

just wanted to encourage you to reach out for help to people in your life because it sounds like you may have a mental illness such as Depression. Many Mental illnesses like depression are treatable with medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes such as eating balanced meals and getting enough sleep. It is however very very hard to go it alone. Your life is valuable, and with treatment things CAN get better.

I just want to say- if you're hoping for a disney style happily ever after- it's no wonder you're so bitterly diappointed in life!

I think that its problematic that your hoping for a disney movie happy ending, because thats not what life is. in the disney movies the get married and live happily ever after. i dont believe in "happily ever after". have you ever heard that cheesy miley cyrus song- the climb? i think it talks about how love is not a destination- its a journey. once you find a guy who loves you, or get that job, or what ever doesnt mean you'll be happy from then on. have you heard the saying "happiness isn't a destination- its a journey"? there will always be things to deal with in life, but i think that it is possible to learn how to still enjoy life and be at peace with life, even with stress.

The following are my reasons for staying alive:
Reasons to stay alive

1) Life is just a series of moments, this too shall pass and I am strong enough to make it through.
2) The same light that was in me as a little girl lives on inside me today. That light is worth fighting for.
3) I am so deeply loved, and my death would be devastating for my loved ones.
4) My future child who may have been born by now needs me (I hope to adopt a teenager by the time I'm in my early 30's. I'm 17, so my child may have been born today, a bittersweet thought. )
5) The people who I could help in my life through work in psychology, volunteering, and writing.
6) Death may lead to an eternity of suffering I can't kill myself to escape.
7) The survivor gets to tell the story. I need to be alive to have survived.
8) This is MY life, and every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around!
9)I've come SO far.
10)Everyone deserves to live. You are no exception. "You have suffered enough, and warred with yourself. It's time that you won." - Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard.

the only thing you can count on is change, so why don't you stick around? This too shall pass. Things get better, things get worse, but it won't be this way for ever. Don't be afraid to ask for help. your life is valuable.

Feel free to VM or PM me anytime.
You are NOT alone.


When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
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Re: living hell - January 23rd 2010, 06:11 PM

Hey there. How are you feeling now ? I hope you are feeling better. So onto the point.

I thought of things exactly the way you are thinking. I also wanted to commit suicide. All i want too is happiness. I used to think of where i want to live and live in a simple place which is beautiful and away from hassles. I thought the way you do exactly.

But I want to tell you something else : Life is much more important than school or work.

I am not saying that school or work is useless but what I am saying is that life is so much more than those 2. It is much more valuable too.

So for me I wanted to be happy, live my life and enjoy it, and I am because i found that which makes me happy.

The point is, you should enjoy life. When you are working or going to school, enjoy the fact that you are alive and that you have this gift. Happiness will often be interrupted or get lost. So you go and find it again. There has to be something that would make you laugh. Even a small smile. Watch comedy(clean comedy) so that you can laugh and see the bright side of life and begin to enjoy it.
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Re: living hell - January 23rd 2010, 08:43 PM

Don't give up. Your life is not a living hell, I can gauruntee you alot of people in this world have it way worse than you do. There are plenty of people who would trade their life for yours in a minute. You have Schooling, you have the freedom to pick a job, and you're smart and talented I'm sure. Perhaps you just need a change and are bored with your life?
Try saving up money to move out on your own, maybe save up for a decent vehicle and drive someplace different in a new city, complete your Schooling then you can do whatever you want, find a good job to support yourself. Things won't always be this way, they can and they do get better even when you least expect it. Don't give up, there are people who care about you and don't want you to die. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. I hope things work out for you.
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Re: living hell - January 24th 2010, 04:12 AM

I know that life is much more important than school, yet we all cannot deny that most of time in life is spent with school or work, isn't it? No matter how much we want to run away from all these things, we can't because we are bound to work and studies. I am not dreaming of 'happily ever after'. I only dream of 'NORMAL' happiness, which I can't even have.

It is much easier to say 'go find happiness', I believe...but I think we all here know that it is not easy in real life. Who doesn't want to be happy? everybody does and everyone's first priority in life is happiness, but maybe God hates me just the way I am, and all my happiness was taken away.

I really don't know how long I can go through this, when the fact that I am still alive is killing me and making me want to die. I do know that there are a lot of people out there facing much worse situation, and I am sorry for being so selfish but misery tastes all the same isn't it? Small or big...when you are depressed it tastes all the same.

These walls that I can't break down...
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