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May as well die.. - January 29th 2010, 01:20 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm sick of the arguments with him, we make up soon after, but he hurts me with things he says, he always say's sorry but it's still there, eating away at me.

His mother reckons i'm no good for him I've always been nice to her and nice to him, i love him she can't see it, she thinks im trying to steal her son away when im not, shes trying to pick what house we get where we move and everything

It's a nice house and i don't mind that its near her, as he has a few mental issues which means he needs to be close to her, which i understand, hence why im still with him.

Last night we had a misunderstanding, sorted it out, but i felt worthless, i wanted to curl up ina ball and die

He can't see that what he says to me kills me inside, i know he doensnt mean it, but it hurts...

I was really close last night....

Something stopped me, and i don't know what.

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Re: May as well die.. - January 29th 2010, 11:59 PM

Well, you love him. Obviously.

Contemplating killing yourself over arguments is just silly. I mean, wouldn't that make your boyfriend worse off?

You have plenty of reason to not kill yourself, so doing such over something as simple as an argument, which is natural between couples, really, doesn't make sense.

People love you and care about you, so thats good reason right there. And you're not in a bad place in your life, from what it seems. You have a guy dedicated to you, you're working on getting a place together, I think those are good things. I mean, it could be so much worse with the mother situation too.

My sister is engaged, and her fiance's mother treats her like garbage! I mean, she wants no part of the wedding planning or anything, but instead basically forces a wedding upon her other son and his short-term girlfriend so they'll be married before my sister.

So keep in mind, she can't hate you that much if shes OK with you living with her son. And he loves you despite your arguments. Maybe you should find a better way to get over the yucky feelings after arguments. Like, maybe writing a letter to your boyfriend? Drawing or Painting?
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Re: May as well die.. - January 30th 2010, 12:15 AM

You need to tell him straight up how the things he says really hurts you and makes you feel this way, and he needs to watch what he says and tell him how it makes you feel. Perhaps then he'd understand and he'd try to change his ways. If not, then he's not good for you. It's not that you are no good for him, his mother is wrong and is being too critical and judgemental of you...he may not be any good for YOU, and if he makes you feel this way honey, he's not worth killing yourself over. Not at all. Nobody is worth that, nobody is worth feeling this way over and if he is making you feel this way then maybe you need to cut him loose because you don't need a guy to make you feel important or special, and there are plenty of other good men out there who know how to treat a woman, who can treat you better than he can.
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Re: May as well die.. - February 1st 2010, 07:46 AM

As Arch Angel has said, you obviously do love him. And really, its commendable, and encouraging to me, that you go through this for him. But, bound by love or not, as Dragon.Kingdom was saying, These things he does say, does hurt you, and makes it hard to deal with it. Certainly dying will not help this situation, you know this. I do truly understand how hard this feels for you to a certain degree, and It can be very hard to deal with. Especially since it sounds like the mother is giving you grief for it. You will need to find ways to deal with this, and what he puts you through. Telling him certainly may help. You said that he has mental issues, which will certainly explain many of the hurtful things he says. And im sure that you understand this. However, none the less it is still hurtful.

Over time, this will take a bigger toll on you. If you have come to this point, where you almost killed yourself, then, perhaps it is time you distance yourself, and your involvement with him, or at least reduce it. You need to now build yourself back up, as it appears you are falling.

You need to set your determination to keep moving wayward, whether it is him, or the others that need you, or that you care for. Never, EVER forget that, or why you move forward.

You also need to alleviate yourself of this stress somehow, find an escape, a constructive escape, maybe writing, listening to music, working out. Something to exhaust this stress. Certainly, talk to someone regarding this.

I before have made the mistake of getting involvement in other peoples issues, or drama, and letting that bring me down. However, you can recover.

Never lose hope. And if you do, keep moving anyway. Things WILL get better. But, as said before, do not take on more than you can handle, and know when you need to back off. For your own good.
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