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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Liz94 Offline
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Trig: SH, ED....Not picking myself up .... - January 31st 2010, 06:08 PM

I cannot be fucking bothered to pick myself up. I have picked my self up soooooooo many times that now I have given up. Freinds have no idea that I am depressed this time I have and am hiding it what with one friend being depressed, my ex bf being depressed cause I broke up with him and everyone under stress cause of module exams and resists in March. I don't want them to have to worry about me or spend there time and energy trying to cheer me up. So instead I put a fake smile on until 10 at night when I cry. I'm just feeling shit atm. Everything in the past 2 weeks has gone down hill I probably going to fail my science exam and science resist because of it. I pray alot asking God for forgiveness, guidence asking him to watch over all unhappy people, people in Hati etc. But tbh my faith is being seriosly tested maby thats what God want ....to test my faith and strengh....well right now I can't be fucking bothered. I don't have the guts to kill myself and seeming as cutting doesnt help anymore ( I last cut on thurs 28th) I am instead turning to food or rather resricting my food intake. In the past week I have lost alot of weight... But I don't give a shit as I'm a worthless waste of space anyway its a good thing that there is less of me.

I deserve to feel crap so not going to lift myself up

sorry for the strong language I rarely swear things just got to me and they slipped in Sorry if I offended anyone by using such fowl words


"Casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2

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Re: Trig: SH, ED....Not picking myself up .... - January 31st 2010, 10:10 PM

Don't give up. Seriously, people do care about you. I'm sure they'd try their best to help you if they knew what you were going through. Although, I do get where you're coming from not wanting to talk to them about it. But seriously, you may want to find someone to open up to. Perhaps a school councellor?

And you should take a look at the Alternatives To SH thread, instead of starving yourself. With an erratic eating pattern, you'll just end up worse off.
   
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Re: Trig: SH, ED....Not picking myself up .... - February 1st 2010, 02:14 AM

I agree with the above, you definitely should talk to someone. Maybe you and your friends can get together and study since it seems that many of you are stressed. They obviously care since they're trying to cheer you up, but you have to be the person to let them in.


Waitin' for my ruca.
   
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Re: Trig: SH, ED....Not picking myself up .... - February 1st 2010, 06:08 AM

I know how you feel, alot.

I myself have been going through a lot of ups and downs. It seems things are fine, then they are not. I'm lucky to have friends that care about me, as they go through this with me. Lucky you are too, for it seems the same goes for you. There are times where i conceal my feelings, because i don't want to bother them. However, they will stick through with you, as its obvious they love you.

From experience, as well, you will find that holding it in is not good at all. Never, is it good. You can already see that you need a way to calm this burning in you, and you take it out on your body, starving or cutting it, as it provides a temporary relief. Trust me, your friends would much rather know that you are not ok, as opposed to have you suffer like this.

As the post above said, you need to talk to them, they will help you work this out, as they know you, they are your friends, and friends stick with you. You have a faith in God, keep with it. Do not give up your hope, and do not think the reason why you do not kill yourself is because you are too scared, or weak. Its because you know, its not the solution, and because you are too strong. Endure, endure with their help.

In terms of anxiety, you need constructive ways to relieve it, look into this on the internet, exercise, do something you enjoy, leak out emotions in writing, find a constructive way, and eat my friend. Life will creep up and try to slap you down, but you will stand strong, I know you will. Never let what it throws at you keep you down. When you fall down, keep on getting yourself up.
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