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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
purpleninja92 Offline
sick little games.............
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Name: Haley
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Arrow I'm suicidal - February 2nd 2010, 09:27 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

This has been going on for more than two years now. I have been slipping away from my friends, I have F's and D's in all of my classes. I feel stupid, ugly, like nobody wants me. Nobody understands what I'm going through. I want to tell my parents but I'm afraid. I dont want them to be dissapointed in me, I dont want them to be afraid of me or feel sorry for me. I just want to be left alone. But at the same time, I need someone. Who will be there for me. It's my own fault that I dont have my friends anymore. I became this dark, depressed person. It makes me so MAD. Everyone at my school who dosent even KNOW me calls me Emo. Goth. Can't I just be a person? Not be labeled. I feel not normal, like im trapped inside some sick twisted movie. I've been cutting for a long time and lately I've been thinking of suicide. What's the point of living if you're not happy, if you hate yourself? Day after day, my parents scream at me for getting bad grades. They scream at each other. They dont know what I'm doing and if they found out, they would kill me. I've been recently doing drugs and I hate admiting this, ive never told anyone this, I walked out to a near by lake last night at about 11:30 and was so prepared to drown myself. I have no idea how to swim. But I didnt. I was afraid. But I still have the strongest urge every day to kill myself.


We're all apart of the same sick little games and I need to get away, get away....All Time Low<333
   
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Jalik Offline
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Re: I'm suicidal - February 3rd 2010, 12:52 AM

Hey, welcome to TH!

The number one thing you should know and always depend on is how much everyone loves you. Your family, especially your parents, and even though it seems like they hate you and are just hard on you, think about how much trauma they'd be in if anything happened to you. You are literally there life, I'm sure they'd give there life up in a second for you. You have to understand that you are loved, and that there are people out there that do understand and are going through what you are, too.

You've probably heard that tons of times, but it's true. I would strongly suggest you look up a help phone line for you to call (that's completely anonymous and confidential) that you can call just to talk to someone, so that you can tell someone instead of keeping everything all bottled up inside. Trust me, it seems like not a lot, but it does help.

If you need anyone to talk to, just to listen or for a friendly conversation you can add my MSN anytime.

Plus, everyone on this site likes you and doesn't want you to go away.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
purpleninja92 Offline
sick little games.............
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Name: Haley
Age: 27
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Location: Wisconsin

Posts: 10
Join Date: January 31st 2010

Re: I'm suicidal - February 3rd 2010, 01:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jalik View Post
Hey, welcome to TH!

The number one thing you should know and always depend on is how much everyone loves you. Your family, especially your parents, and even though it seems like they hate you and are just hard on you, think about how much trauma they'd be in if anything happened to you. You are literally there life, I'm sure they'd give there life up in a second for you. You have to understand that you are loved, and that there are people out there that do understand and are going through what you are, too.

You've probably heard that tons of times, but it's true. I would strongly suggest you look up a help phone line for you to call (that's completely anonymous and confidential) that you can call just to talk to someone, so that you can tell someone instead of keeping everything all bottled up inside. Trust me, it seems like not a lot, but it does help.

If you need anyone to talk to, just to listen or for a friendly conversation you can add my MSN anytime.

Plus, everyone on this site likes you and doesn't want you to go away.
thanks<3 does it ever get better? because its like an addiction for me. so are the drugs.. and now im just getting myself into a deeper hole with the drugs.


We're all apart of the same sick little games and I need to get away, get away....All Time Low<333
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Jalik Offline
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Re: I'm suicidal - February 3rd 2010, 01:17 AM

Well for me, I told my parents that I wanted to see a doctor for depression and I didn't tell them anything else. Now, a few months later I've been on medication for just over a month (just started taking more medication this week) and it's helping me. Slowly, but surely. I haven't thought about suicide since I've been on medication. It might work for you, it might not.

You can talk to school councilors too, if you aren't too embarrassed. But that was the case for me, I'd be too shy talking to people at school about my problems and start getting nervous and then I'd get more problems and get more panicky. But I've used Kids Help lines a bit, especially on nights where I'm extremely overwhelmed and depressed, when I might actually make my thoughts in my head reality.

Always have something set up so you can call someone when you need to. But I would suggest to join a club at school or something that you might even just be slightly interested in. Get out of the house, participating in activities with other people. This is what will eventually help you, and make you become more socially active with everybody and even make some friends who you never knew before.

Anything to get your mind off cutting, or depressing thoughts. Best of luck!
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