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zeekool Offline
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Unhappy What Should I Do..? - February 7th 2010, 03:22 PM

My life really isn't that bad.. there's a few things, of course, that I don't love, but there are people much worse off than me.
I keep feeling really depressed, though, and I'm not exactly sure why. I just feel like I want to die, and it's scaring the shit out of me. I was in a psychiatric hospital a couple of months ago (for OCD, an unspecified mood disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder), and now I'm extremely scared of going back there.
I went to Four Winds (the hospital) because my OCD was making me have these intrusive and obsessive thoughts about suicide, but now they're becoming less intrusive.. and I feel like I really want to die.
I want these thoughts to stop, but they're not, and it just makes me more depressed.
I'd feel extremely bad for my family if I died, but these thoughts are getting harder and harder to ignore. If I don't succeed though, I'll probably end up in another hospital, and I CANNOT handle that.
Please, someone... I have no idea what to do.
I don't want to tell anyone, because they'll think I'm just being selfish since my life is not that bad.. I can't help it though, but I still feel really selfish.
Please, anyone, I don't know where to go from here.. I just want the thoughts and visions to stop already

enjoy what you can, when you can
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Darrenboy! Offline
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Re: What Should I Do..? - February 7th 2010, 04:35 PM


No matter how you feel other people have it worse, if a problem is making you feel this way, then it IS a problem worth seeking help for. We are all ready to help you, and remember that EVERYTHING can be overcome. The most important part of overcoming depression and negative thoughts is support, will and heart. These three , formed together will create a wall that depression and thoughts will NEVER crack =) Remember that and heed these words.

and besides that, you are NOT selfish. In fact, you considering how other people feel (especially your family ) is a very compassionate course of action, and that makes you an extremely special and good person in your own way.

One thing to remember is that most people will NOT think of you in that way if you tell someone else. In fact, most of them will be ready to lend a helping hand to you.. people are more understanding and compassionate than a lot of people tend to think . =)

I know you can overcome this.Remember that no matter what happens, you can always be sure that when there's a will, there is a way. You have to try telling people around you first.. you'll be surprised how helpful and kind they can be. =)

Here's a song that you should listen =)


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

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Whisperer Offline
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Re: What Should I Do..? - February 7th 2010, 05:19 PM

Hey Zach,
It really doesn't matter how good or bad your life is, what matters is how YOU feel. You are not being selfish at all. Reaching out to those in your life isn't being selfish, it's a sign of strength. Think of it this way: Your family loves you and cares about you a lot and that's why they put you in a hospital. They want you to feel better. And if that's not happening, they would want you to come to them and tell them. If you tell a friend, family member, or someone in your life, you can work together to get these thoughts to stop and feel better. Once you reach out to someone, things just get easier and you WILL start to get better. Hang in there Zach, because it's all going to be okay.
PM me if you ever need anything or just want to talk. I'm always here.


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
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ThePunkAlien Offline
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Re: What Should I Do..? - February 8th 2010, 02:31 AM

I know what you mean by visions. Over the summer, for two weeks, my depression hit rock bottom. I was constantly haunted by thoughts of suicide. Looking up online how to commit suicide. Trying to dissect my garage and perfect times to do it. Kept on seeing visions of me (hallucinations/thoughts/images) killing myself in various ways. It became too much to handle. Eventually though, if you hang on, things will get better. Just have to fight it. If you think you do need help, don't hesitate going to your parents or a friend. People are there for you and while there are others worse off, as you stated, your concerns are STILL very real and very important.
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anxiety, depressed, disorder, hospital, mood, ocd, scared, suicide

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