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-   -   Triggering (Suicide): The Curtain Closes on life (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f11-depression-suicide/t37524-curtain-closes-life/)

foreveralone February 15th 2010 07:25 PM

The Curtain Closes on life
i have struggled with depression for years now, and have tried to kill myself 5 times now, and I have a pretty good feeling today will be the final 6th. I have spent the past 4 days alone. depressed, anxious (GAD) and more than anything suicidal. I have tried the hotlines, but im sick of the indifference of people. im poor, i have to move soon, im still in high school and i live by myself, i have no friends, i have been to the hospital 17 times in the past 9 months, they refuse to serve me, and the other nearset hospital is a 40 min drive and like i siad im poor and i dont drive, i only get to eat once a day (if) and i can not aford even 3 bucks for the bus. i take my meds and i am sick of trugling, and even if i call 911 here, they take me to the hospital (the cops didnt bleve me last time than thay apologized, cause i told them as soon as i get there, they fill out the forms saying they know i came in then they discharge me and say there is nothing they can do. im sick of the pain the loneleiness, and being hated by people who don even know me. i was in crutches and someone from a car yelled at me to walk faster faggot (which i am cursed with being gay too) so yeah, im done, a hand full of pills, cut myself some more (lots of scrs on my left arm) and sad music will be my meal today, and perhaps i will finally bee inin pese:'(

WhatsTheSecret February 15th 2010 07:48 PM

Re: The Curtain Closes on life
Don't give up. So many of us have wanted to, some many of us still want to sometimes, but life is going to be worth fighting for. You can do this, I know you can. You just have to believe in yourself. Everyday might be hard now, but it will get better if you just give life a chance. I struggle a lot too and sometimes i just feel like it would be easier on myself and everyone else if i was anywhere but here in this world...but we just have to keep going because there is a brighter future and you'll never know how beautiful it will be unless you keep going to reach it. If you decide to end it, then you'll never be able to experience the feelings of true happiness on earth. and although some believe heave exists and is a good place, we don't know that. what we do know is that there is a possibility for happiness here on earth, if you just give the world a chance.

hang in there. it will get better, you can do this.

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