Non-PG13 (Strong Language): i wanna runaway...

[plk524]

I have to go to the bus stop and see him, see him in school, see him in my old seat. I don't want to deal with this. I want to runaway from everything here in Maryland. I'm so fed up with Baltimore. I'm fed up with everything that happens here. I don't understand why my mom can't just let me go and live with Alice. Everything would be better then. I am sick of sitting here crying because I miss her. My depression worsens when she leaves. I hate doctors for telling me that I have depression, and not being able to do anything about it. It fucking sucks! I don't want to be here anymore. It's kill myself or fucking runaway, and right now, I'm choosing runaway because Alice and I were sitting here talking about how neither of us could live without the other. She's my best friend, and I want her with me. I don't care how selfish that sounds. What the hell am I supposed to do anymore? My ex is everywhere that I look, my best friend lives in another state, I'm tired of living in fear. I can't talk to my parents about anything. They don't live together, and I don't trust them. Just flat out, I don't. I can't help that. I really fucking can't. I trust very few people, and I still don't trust them with everything. What the fuck do they want me to do anymore? I can't just sit back and watch my fucking life go by anymore, because that's what I've been doing since Alice left. I hate myself for not being able to handle this anymore. I want to die because I want to get away from everything. And that seems to be the only way out...I'm sorry for all the strong language, but I'm typing everything that's running through the top of myt head...Does anybody know what I can do about all of this?

[fullofsecrets]

If you are suicidal, you NEED NEED NEED NEED NEED to find better doctors. A doctor who tells you that you're depressed and can't do anything about it is NOT a good doctor, and you need to find someone else. Please call a suicide hotline, because even if you are not suicidal currently, you need to get some sort of help for the situation that you are in. They can recommend better doctors to go to, and they can be someone to talk to.

See the Helplink button at the top of the page? Click that button and send in an email explaining your situation. They are a lot more trained than I am and can probably give better, more professional responses than I can.

Please find help for yourself and don't give up! Stay strong!

[WillO'Wisp]

Your doctor is a knob for telling you there's nothing you can do about this, because there is. Find a better doctor, find a Psychiatrist, someone professional who will listen and be able to help you.
I understand right now you want to run away, but that's not the best solution. What about money, a job, a house, you can't control any of those things right now and maybe you don't trust your parents right now but they do love you and care about you even if it doesn't seem like it. Maybe one day you can try and open up to them and talk to them about everything that's bothering you. I did with my parents and realized I can turn to them and trust them, now we have a great relationship.
Don't feel hopeless, don't run away or do anything dramatic or impulsive, there is hope and things will get better, they always do.

[plk524]

I already have a place I would go, and I can't get a job here in maryland yet. They keep raising the ages and shit. But I know exactly what I would do and where I would go. And I'm going to talk to my mom about this to see what she says. But I'm going to flat out tell her that if she doesn't let me go, I might runaway to there. And she doesn't know my friends address 'cuz they are in a different state. So I'd be completely fine. Oh, and the doctors can't do anything about my depression because I keep getting addicted to the pills they're giving me, and everytime my body tries to OD on them.