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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Palmolive Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Name: Jessie
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Its not like chosing what flavour yogurt you want. - February 28th 2010, 12:18 AM

Do you ever ask you're self the question, why am i still here?

Its like, im trying, im trying so hard, but i dont want this. I dont want to hurt the people around me, so i try and try and try. But i dont want to try anymore. And its not like deciding what flavour yogurt you want or what time to go out or what to wear, this is choosing whether to end you're life, thats a big thing right?

But i love knowing, that in minutes, i could just end it all. Its scary, but gives me a thrill. And i keep getting more scared of myself, i keep trying to speak out more, but i cant bring myself to it. I know what i should do, but i also know what i want to do.

But its life or death. Im not stupid. One action, could change everything.
But i dont want to fight the feelings anymore. They're getting me, and they wont leave.

And the hardest part is, its not that i want to escape, its that i want to die.


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Whisperer Offline
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I've been here a while
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Re: Its not like chosing what flavour yogurt you want. - February 28th 2010, 01:00 AM

Jessie,

I ask myself that question almost every day. You're not the only one feeling these emotions and thinking these thoughts. You're right, this is a big decision. It's a HUGE decision. It's one that will affect everyone you have ever come in contact with, not just yourself. You just have to keep on trying and keep on fighting, because these feelings will lessen, and you will feel better.

It's ok to be comforted knowing you can end it all. But you have to realize, it's not the right decision. I know you know that. You just need to prepare yourself so those times when you feel completely hopeless and aren't thinking straight, you can get through them. If it's too hard to talk to someone, write a note. Don't hold anything back because you'll feel better quicker if you reach out for help. You don't have to fight alone.

PM me if you EVER want to talk. I'm always here.
Stay strong,

Alessa


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If I can make it out, you can too.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
survivor. :)
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Re: Its not like chosing what flavour yogurt you want. - February 28th 2010, 04:36 PM

Hey Jessie,

I know what you mean. It is a huge decision and as Alessa, I ask myself the same pretty much everyday. I know how easy it could be, so easy. I mean, what's the point in going on? All I appear to do is hurt people or waste their time.

But I'm holding on to the future... I'm hoping it won't be like this forever. I'm holding on to being able to help people in the future, other people who are feeling like this now. It's getting me through, slowly but surely. Have you got anything you can hold on to? What is it you really really want to do in the future? What do you love doing?

You are worth so much to the people around you, they would be devastated if anything ever happened. Infact, devastated doesn't even cover it, no word can describe the pain they would feel. And unfortunately... They would all blame themselves.

The fact you know you have the power to end it all, surely it means you have the power to change it all? As Alessa said, try to almost make a plan of what you can do when you are feeling like this but something you are likely to be able to stick to.

You are so strong to have got this far Jessie and you can keep going, I believe in you.

PM me if you ever want a chat, about anything,
Take care.
Anna
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
.Brittany. Offline
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Re: Its not like chosing what flavour yogurt you want. - February 28th 2010, 08:38 PM

Hey Jess,

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way at the moment, I understand that you are going through quite the time right now, but you are incredibly strong and everyone here knows it. You are amazing and someone a lot of people look up to.

Don't let something, effect all the hard work you have done to get to where you are today. Keep fighting, take it one day at a time, and Jess, remember, all your friends are here for you, me included. If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me

When I was down you were there to help me, and now I need to return the favour.

Stay strong hun <3
Brittany



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