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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
take me as you found me.
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Name: Becca
Age: 27
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Join Date: January 7th 2009

Maybe I'm being silly... - March 5th 2010, 01:32 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hey guys. I hope you're all doing okay.

Maybe I'm being silly. But I guess it seems that my life has taken this HUGE downwards spiral no matter how much I try to fix my recent problems. I walk into every day determined to make the best of it, but when that final bell rings at 2:30 PM I feel completely worn down. I go home to fall asleep immediately, waking up around 6 AM with none of my homework finished. I can't even remember the last time I was genuinely happy, and that's a little scary.

There has been some drama in my life. I'm bipolar and I'm back in therapy and on medication which hasn't quite regulated. I'm jet-lagged from a trip to Rome two weeks ago. My ex boyfriend found a new girl and I spend a lot of time trying to avoid seeing them together. I guess that last one is the biggest issue, and maybe this part is more Dating & Relationships than Depression & Suicide, but it's just part of what's been going on. He and I aren't on speaking terms since we were together for seven months and not even a month later he found her, and he's given me the impression that our entire relationship, all his affection for me was a lie. I had a lot of anger about it until recently when I had a huge emotional breakdown that just released all of that anger. Anyways, I'm over him for the most part, but walking into each day trying to function when he's already Mr. Popular and I'm the emotionally dysfunctional one is so hard, especially when we share a class together. I share five classes with the girl, but she and I are on good terms because she actually had the respect for me to admit that they got together.

What else... ? My grades are plummeting due to my lack of sleep and sadness. I'm in danger of failing my AP US History class and I'm doing poorly in my AP calc and AP physics classes as well. I've been so snappy with my family and they get so angry because they don't understand that I can't control it anymore. There have been days where I've considered going back to self-injury and committing suicide, though I wouldn't consider myself suicidal or dangerous overall.

I'm really not sure what to do anymore. Does anyone have some practical advice as to how I could get my life back under some semblance of control?

when you love and laugh abundantly you live a beautiful life.
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Re: Maybe I'm being silly... - March 5th 2010, 06:22 PM

Hey Becca,
Well I'm not sure if my advice is practical or not, but it's worth a shot. I understand how hard it can be to see your ex with another girl. But, there's so many other guys out there, that won't treat you like that. I know it may seem impossible to get over, be if he's going to do that to you, it's not worth your time. I think you need to talk to your family though about how you have been feeling. I know it's hard, but sit down and talk to them about it. Now I'm not a doctor, but signs of depression include excess sleep, sadness, irritability, and suicidal thoughts. Let your therapist know you are depressed, some medicines have side affects like depression and others can treat both bipolar and depression. Hang in there, as the medication takes time to regulate but you will feel better. Maybe try to do something fun in the afternoon instead of going right to sleep? Have some caffeine and go to the movies or hang out with friends, something you enjoy. This is just temporary, you'll feel better. PM me if you wanna talk.
Stay strong,


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
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