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Unhappy i ruined my life - March 9th 2010, 01:48 AM

well i was homeschooled through highschool but not cause i wanted to be, just because i was too afraid and shy to deal with being around people which im really regretting now cause i realized i missed everything i wanted to do but i cant take that back since its gone. im supposed to be in college now but i cant cause ive been too sick. i feel so confused and not ready to be an "adult" at all. i havent experienced anything really and i feel like i havent been alive and happy all this time. i feel like i ruined my whole life cause i couldve actually been happy but i was such a wimp and didnt do anything. its so hopeless maybe its not even worth it, everytime i try to be happy theres always something holding me back. im turning 19 soon but i still feel like a teen not ready to be independent. i dont know what to do about anything i screwed up everything and i dont know how to fix it...
   
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Re: i ruined my life - March 9th 2010, 03:01 AM

While I completely understand the pains of having feeling like missed out on life - you still have plenty of time to live...

As for "I still feel like a teen," that's not because of home school. My friends and I still laugh that we're 22, leaving college and we ALL still feel like we're 16/17 still. not adults at all. So, not only is that feeling of "when the fuck will being adult kick in?" universal - truth be told, those in their early twenties at graduation point STILL don't feel like adults... either our generation is going to be the 'Peter Pan' generation or it'll kick in WAY WAY WAY down the line! That's nothing to worry about - in fact, what wouldn't be normal and isn't IS feeling like an adult. Continue at college - then worry about still being a teenager when you're completely out of school, out in the work force, basically on you're own in life, cause then it's just like throwing darts blindly - it's like being a kid in an adult's body, "tell me - what's my age again?"
   
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Re: i ruined my life - March 9th 2010, 04:45 AM

Agreed with the above. I feel like I'm a teenager, despite being 22, but thats probably because I'm not working. I graduated college, am unemployed, and am still dependent on my parents. So I know the feeling.

Just, don't worry about whether you're ready to be dependent or not. You have plenty of time, you can go to college next year or whatever (hell, some folks at my college were in their 30's and 40's!), so it's not like you MUST do it all now.
   
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Re: i ruined my life - March 11th 2010, 11:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by liliflower View Post
well i was homeschooled through highschool but not cause i wanted to be, just because i was too afraid and shy to deal with being around people which im really regretting now cause i realized i missed everything i wanted to do but i cant take that back since its gone. im supposed to be in college now but i cant cause ive been too sick. i feel so confused and not ready to be an "adult" at all. i havent experienced anything really and i feel like i havent been alive and happy all this time. i feel like i ruined my whole life cause i couldve actually been happy but i was such a wimp and didnt do anything. its so hopeless maybe its not even worth it, everytime i try to be happy theres always something holding me back. im turning 19 soon but i still feel like a teen not ready to be independent. i dont know what to do about anything i screwed up everything and i dont know how to fix it...
I have gone through things which made me want to go back in time and change the way i reacted. It has happened many times but I realized that i had made the right choice in those situations. Its the same here. One day you will realize it was the right choice because it was your heart that wanted it. Now you are older and can do much more. You are stronger and thus you have the strength not to be afraid anymore.

So, move on now, don't feel like you wasted your life, because you didn't. But now you are stronger so don't let fear rule your life. Don't let fear make your choices for you. Just stay calm, think about things organize your life and then decide the next action. Take it slow and enjoy life and clear the thoughts you have about spoiling your life, because you haven't spoilt anything. The next step for you is out there waiting for you to choose it. So don't be afraid and don't be nervous.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.

Last edited by Jacksonian; March 11th 2010 at 11:50 PM. Reason: addition
   
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