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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Ac32781 Offline
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i Need Help! - March 9th 2010, 03:36 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Lately my life hasn't been the same.I always argue with my girlfriend im always yelling at her i dont know what to do things just get worse and never gets better if it does we end up always fighting i dont wanna break up with her because shes the only thing i have plus i love her to death!I also miss my dad that i haven't seem in like years seems like my mom doesn't want to bring him here to the states i just miss him no one understands i don't like showing it i got no one to talk to about it since i dont like bringing it up and i dont like telling anyone my mom is always yelling around the house it gets really annoying i always feel like running around taking the car to a place i never been and just get lost and never come back or worse just feel like killing my self i always wanted to overdose on something but i never had the guts or balls to do it but it seems i will one day and i just want someone to hear me out on this i hate holding the tears back and walking around with a fake smile on my face when im really hurt deep down inside!school so stressful too fucking failing i just wanna drop out of that shit too i wish i was never ever brought into this world!plus i even tried reaching out to god nothing gets better!smoking is like the only thing i have but cant do it because if i do i tend to fight with my girlfriend and it sucks!HELP PLEASE~AC
P:S im glad to find this forum so i have people help me without showing my feelings!
   
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Re: i Need Help! - March 9th 2010, 03:59 AM

Hey man, not having a father sucks. Believe me, I know. I don't know why some people get lucky while the rest us have to suffer. My Dad ran off before I was even born, my Mom had to send me away and I was adopted... but, still my adoptive parents feel like nothing more than step-parents. It fucking sucks. Having to live the lie, not being able to tell people how I feel because then they'd see me as the insecure boy who lost his parents/father and still doesn't know how to find his way in life. So, you're not alone. Hell - there are dozens of artists out there who have family/father issues as well - even Obama, so gotta believe us Mutts are capable of something.

I can't say the hurt or anger will ever go away. I'm still dealing with it. I still have to hide it. My adoptive mother hears word, she raises holy hell and makes me feel worse; she made me turn to binge drinking one night just to feel better. I've never told her that, but no way you can see her the same after that.

I've been through suicidal episodes, major psychotic breakdowns, I've even ran away from "home" once. Sometimes I get in the car and I dread having to turn around.

Basically you're not alone man. I can't say I have the answers cause I got similar issues with my parents and still feel the pain of their absence. All I can say is you're not alone.
   
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Re: i Need Help! - March 9th 2010, 05:47 AM

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Originally Posted by ThePunkAlien View Post
Hey man, not having a father sucks. Believe me, I know. I don't know why some people get lucky while the rest us have to suffer. My Dad ran off before I was even born, my Mom had to send me away and I was adopted... but, still my adoptive parents feel like nothing more than step-parents. It fucking sucks. Having to live the lie, not being able to tell people how I feel because then they'd see me as the insecure boy who lost his parents/father and still doesn't know how to find his way in life. So, you're not alone. Hell - there are dozens of artists out there who have family/father issues as well - even Obama, so gotta believe us Mutts are capable of something.

I can't say the hurt or anger will ever go away. I'm still dealing with it. I still have to hide it. My adoptive mother hears word, she raises holy hell and makes me feel worse; she made me turn to binge drinking one night just to feel better. I've never told her that, but no way you can see her the same after that.

I've been through suicidal episodes, major psychotic breakdowns, I've even ran away from "home" once. Sometimes I get in the car and I dread having to turn around.

Basically you're not alone man. I can't say I have the answers cause I got similar issues with my parents and still feel the pain of their absence. All I can say is you're not alone.
im sorry to hear that bro!i hope we both could make it out...
   
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Re: i Need Help! - March 10th 2010, 04:29 AM

Don't think it's something we get over... as said there's plenty of film makers/bands who still focus on their family pains. Spielberg for example didn't have a father - all his films are about divided families. So, I don't think it does leave... just gotta survive it. Which sucks, but - I'd say use it to motivate you.

I'm a writer. I vowed to prove my parents wrong, especially my Dad - I am worth something. now I'm at Warner Brothers... got in at twenty-one; the same age Green Day worked their way into WB which is beyond cool. And the go-to writer guy for the son of an academy award winner. What got me here was using what I have to motivate me...

Usually those who've lost something/someone have a "god shaped hole" as Bono calls it. It brings you a lot of pain in life, it can't ever be completely filled... but it also motivates you to get ahead. "This is my gift, my curse, who am I?" Up to you to find out... use it to motivate you though - that helps, fills a void somewhere else... but gives you something. It's at least worked for me.
   
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Re: i Need Help! - March 10th 2010, 05:22 AM

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Originally Posted by ThePunkAlien View Post
Don't think it's something we get over... as said there's plenty of film makers/bands who still focus on their family pains. Spielberg for example didn't have a father - all his films are about divided families. So, I don't think it does leave... just gotta survive it. Which sucks, but - I'd say use it to motivate you.

I'm a writer. I vowed to prove my parents wrong, especially my Dad - I am worth something. now I'm at Warner Brothers... got in at twenty-one; the same age Green Day worked their way into WB which is beyond cool. And the go-to writer guy for the son of an academy award winner. What got me here was using what I have to motivate me...

Usually those who've lost something/someone have a "god shaped hole" as Bono calls it. It brings you a lot of pain in life, it can't ever be completely filled... but it also motivates you to get ahead. "This is my gift, my curse, who am I?" Up to you to find out... use it to motivate you though - that helps, fills a void somewhere else... but gives you something. It's at least worked for me.
thanks alot bro this really means alot to me never thought people i dont know would be so motivating!
   
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Re: i Need Help! - March 10th 2010, 05:23 AM

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thanks alot bro this really means alot to me never thought people i dont know would be so motivating!
hopefully ill get to see my dad and maintain a happy healthy life and that also goes for you.
   
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Re: i Need Help! - March 10th 2010, 05:31 AM

how do you close a thread
   
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Re: i Need Help! - March 10th 2010, 06:49 PM

I'll close this thread for you since you seem to be satisfied with your replies. Let me know if you'd like me to reopen it at any time.


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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