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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Unsure - March 28th 2010, 04:29 AM

My father died when I was two, and my mother's brought in new men every since. I have pretty severe anxiety, and thoughts of suicide have kept popping in my mind. My mother is stressed with me around, her fiance doesn't get along with me well most of the time, and I feel like a giant burden to everyone. I'm so confused and depressed. My life's going in the wrong direction. I've been caught writing suicidal poems and letters on multiple occasions. I've been taken to the doctor for evaluation but they believe I'm okay. Well, I'm not okay and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, really. Please help me.
   
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Re: Unsure - March 28th 2010, 04:37 AM

Hey there!
First of all, I see you're new to TH...so, welcome!

I'm sorry about your dad, and your mom for that matter. Have you tried to talk to her about things? And, when you've been taken for evaluations, have you told them up front that you aren't okay?
Are there any friends you could talk to when you feel bad like this?
Is there a teacher or other adult you trust enough that you feel you could reach out to them?
You aren't a burden. Keep your head up. Getting help is hard, but you can do it. Don't give up. Life won't always be like this
If you need anything, I'm just a PM away!



Great works are performed not by strength, but by perseverance.
PM me anytime <3
   
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Re: Unsure - March 28th 2010, 04:44 AM

Thank you, I didn't know him well so I don't feel like I should miss him this much. I guess I'm just very confused.
I have some pretty serious trust issues because of my mother's situation with the men, so I don't feel very confident asking for help (I'm very stubborn as well) and I've told my evaluator how I was feeling but he declared me sane. I'm having a terrible time falling asleep at night, and my mother's lost patience with me because I'm too depressed to complete anything, plus my lack of energy/enthusiasm is making her pretty mad. Sorry for the rant, a little flustered at the moment.
Thanks for the PM offer, Emily.
   
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Re: Unsure - March 28th 2010, 04:52 AM

The trust issues are understandable. But...is there anyone? Maybe another family member?
Could you go to the doctor? Maybe try medicine? Feeling depressed could be why you are having trouble sleeping.
Don't be afraid to reach out. You don't deserve to be depressed. Hope is real.



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PM me anytime <3
   
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Re: Unsure - March 28th 2010, 04:55 AM

I don't really have anyone. The one person I would normally go to isn't doing so good himself and I would feel terrible putting my hurt on him to deal with even more. If I tell my family, they would be so upset and hurt. I love them a lot, but I can't tell them without hurting them and being hurt.
   
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Re: Unsure - March 28th 2010, 04:59 AM

Well, don't you think they'd be more hurt if you tried to end your life? They're your family...families support each other.



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Re: Unsure - March 28th 2010, 05:02 AM

I've already tried to end my life, but failed and we never told my family. The way the hurt side of my mind thinks is that they would get over my death as quick as my mother got over my father's death and they would move on, it would be a win-win situation because I wouldn't be in anymore pain. The good part of my brain thinks about all I have to look forward to in life. Unfortunetely the hurt side is a bit more dominant.
   
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Re: Unsure - March 28th 2010, 05:07 AM

They wouldn't move on. You matter.
You definitely have a lot to look forward to in life.
You can get through this.
I believe in you.



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PM me anytime <3
   
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Re: Unsure - March 28th 2010, 05:09 AM

Thank you, that means a lot. I needed that encouragement today ^_^
   
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