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KiwiGal Offline
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Unhappy i've fallen for the last time - April 17th 2010, 10:33 AM

i cant find the strenght to pull mt self back up this time. everywhere i look in this house i see him beating me. i can feel him beating me still. i just dont know how to do it anymore. idk how to get passed it. i said goodbye to my friend he tried ringing me, but i couldnt tell hhim that what i wanted to do. im home alone all nyt and scared shittless of myself. i dont wanna hurt my friends my family, or my mates on th. but i cant see anymore hope. i used to be able to see my life ahead of me, now im stuck in the past.
can you admit your self to hospital even if u havent done anything yet? cos im on the verge the only thing keeping me here is typing right now.
i feel like a bitch for trying to/ wanting to do this but i cant think of any other way.
im crying so hard, . i dont wanna be a number, i dont wanna have my mum cry.
this is my plea for help please answer, please help me.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i've fallen for the last time - April 17th 2010, 11:52 AM

i found a saftey rope and im holding on. so for now im okay.


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Re: i've fallen for the last time - April 17th 2010, 12:33 PM

Hello Beka,
The horrific experience you went through was likely very traumatizing so that is why you keep experiencing the flashbacks. It is not your fault that this happened. It will be hard to get past them because these memories are like a scar and they might stick with you for quite some time, but eventually I believe you will be able to move on, you still have a bright future.

If you feel you need to admit yourself to a hospital, yes they would be willing to take you in even if you haven't done anything yet, however you wouldn't be allowed to simply walk back out when you feel better. An isolated hospital setting can actually make your feelings worse. I think it would be better to talk to a therapist or counselor about this, especially one that specializes in situations like this.
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Re: i've fallen for the last time - April 17th 2010, 12:41 PM

yea i might try see a counselor again, last time it didnt really help tho...


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Re: i've fallen for the last time - April 17th 2010, 12:44 PM

If it didn't help, then it would probably be better to try a different one. Preferably one who you can relate to.
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Re: i've fallen for the last time - April 17th 2010, 01:07 PM

what do you think of anti depressants. im considering asking for sum but i dont want my rents to know


KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!
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Re: i've fallen for the last time - April 17th 2010, 01:48 PM

Anti-depressants are prescription drugs I believe. You wouldn't be able to get them without your parents knowing.
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Re: i've fallen for the last time - April 17th 2010, 02:25 PM

that fully sux then cos i dont want them to think that they failed at parenting or someting like that, but i have gotten control over myself again, had to use bad methods to gain control but at least im still here...


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Re: i've fallen for the last time - April 18th 2010, 04:22 AM

Well I think if you do feel you're going to do something, you CAN voluntarily commit yourself to the hospital if need be. At least around here, don't know about there.

As for antidepressants, depends on your laws and how old you are. Here, when you're 16 you have doctor-patient confidentiality. Although the problem is, along with the antidepressants, they'll want you to go through therapy and/or councelling. Its basically a standard when suffering from a mental illness, whether genetic or by trauma. So theres a good chance your parents could find out anyways.
   
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Re: i've fallen for the last time - April 20th 2010, 03:05 AM

i think you need to get help even if you feel like you have control. from experience i thought i had completely recovered but i really had gotten worse. It was like getting hit with a train when my best friend sat me down and told me she realized alot that i didnt...
   
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