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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
imbound Offline
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Name: Rena
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Can't Cope - April 26th 2010, 09:52 AM

I'm 19 and I don't really know what my main problem is, and I have to many things to say to say everything. It's hit me this past week that in life as you get older, everything turns to shit. I want to be able to say that isn't true, but I just can't. Someone in my family died this past week, and we were close. Now everything just seems strange. I remember saying that I wished the world would stop. I wish there was a pause button. Then I realized what I really wanted was a rewind one to where things weren't the best, but better. When you're young you only think of the future and how great it's going to be and what you are going to do, but we don't realize that comes with a lot of death and changes. Me personally, people I know just seem to keep dying, my family has gotten incredibly small, good people start losing their minds,I find out people that I can't live without really want to kill themselves, and others get diagnosed with mental disorders and make life hell. Normally, I think I could deal but there a problem. All my friends are gone. It's like they all just disappeared. They didn't but they have all started living their own lives and things aren't the same. None of us hang out anymore. I never talked about my feelings before, but they were always there to distract me. They were always happy, and in turn it made happy. It made forget everything for a while. Now I'm in a new place, and they aren't here. They are in another city or state. They're at some other college, or getting married, dating a new girl or boy. It's like they've forgotten I exist. I'm sitting here looking at my phone realizing that my text messages get fewer and fewer. I look at some of my old friends and realized they've changed drastically, and wonder why I am still friends because they're nothing like they used to be. Because of everything thing that's happened I've become so introverted I don't know what to say to others anymore. Because of everything that's happened I can't bring myself to try. So I get ignored. I want someone to actually see me now-a-days, and not not be self-centered I guess my point is I'm in pain and they aren't here. I'm mad because when shit happens the world keeps going, and I realize it's the most painful feeling. I feel like a 2 year old who just got separated form their parents and I can't cope.



I know this is long. I tried to keep it short. Thanks if you read this. It means a lot.


~Changing every day
   
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Darrenboy! Offline
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Re: Can't Cope - April 26th 2010, 12:13 PM

i understand that time brings a lot of pain.. but along with it, if you make use of the opportunities you get, you can get a lot of smiles and happiness for everything =) do not feel bad that your rant is long. The fact remains that no matter what happens, you always have the option and ability to make things happen, have a little faith in yourself.

when the world keeps going, it also brings about happy memories.

You can always go out there .. and meet new people. Definitely, some of them will be happy and will appreciate you for who you are. Because of that, never lose faith. People you know can change, but one part that will remain is the friendship... a lot of things can change people. Time can change the most angry person to the friendliest funniest person you have ever met before you even look back and realize it has done that.

I know you have went through a lot. But Everything can and will certainly become better.

I always believe in that.

Caring always =)


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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FlyingTrue Offline
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Re: Can't Cope - April 27th 2010, 12:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by imbound View Post
Because of everything thing that's happened I've become so introverted I don't know what to say to others anymore. Because of everything that's happened I can't bring myself to try. So I get ignored. I want someone to actually see me now-a-days, and not not be self-centered I guess my point is I'm in pain and they aren't here. I'm mad because when shit happens the world keeps going, and I realize it's the most painful feeling. I feel like a 2 year old who just got separated form their parents and I can't cope.
Hello Rena,
I felt the same way for most of my life. During my entire childhood I rarely had any friends. And I kept myself isolated because of constant bullying, I wasn't able to trust anyone. Then two years ago when I tried to reach out it seemed as if the way that it turned my life upside down was punishment because I wasn't supposed to have someone to reach out too. So I stayed mostly isolated, even after I left the public school. Until lately that is. Coping with these feelings of loneliness was very difficult. So I can relate. It takes a lot of effort but as you keep trying it gets better and easier to socialize with people. I am not giving up, neither should you.
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