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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Make A Wish ☼
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I'm not okay. - April 28th 2010, 09:31 PM

Okay. Something is wrong with me. Idk what to do. I love how I can stop so many other people from being suicidal but I can't stop myself.
Lately its been like...3 steps forward 4 steps back. I can't dig myself out of this. Its like I'm just in some sort of...black ocean or something and the tides keep pulling me down.
I've been suicidal the past 3 nights. Last night was the worst. I ended up calling 2 hotlines and calling a few friends to see if anyone could come over. I'm really scaring myself. I called my psychiatrist this morning and set up an emergency session for friday. But, what if I can't make it to friday? And I know I could tell my parents but... I dont want to loose my privacy or have to have them watch me take my meds. I don't want this. Why can't someone just fix me?! Is it really that hard. I'm just an 18 year old girl, I just wanna be happy and live a normal life! I just wanna be happy.
I've reached out so much in the past day. Hotlines, LH, chat, friends... I'm truly looseing hope that I can win this fight....


Life is to short to put it off anymore
You gotta live it before itís too late
I canít turn that clock back around
On what youíre dreaming about
You better do it now, donít wait

Do something crazy and dumb, while your still young. <3

Need to talk? I'm here. --->
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FlyingTrue Offline
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Re: I'm not okay. - April 29th 2010, 12:18 AM

Lacey,
Do you know what it is that is making you feel this way? If so would you be willing to talk about it?
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Make A Wish ☼
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Re: I'm not okay. - April 29th 2010, 02:10 AM

There is nothing. At all. My life is actually going really good right now so Idk whats going on to make me feel like this. but, I'm scaring myself


Life is to short to put it off anymore
You gotta live it before itís too late
I canít turn that clock back around
On what youíre dreaming about
You better do it now, donít wait

Do something crazy and dumb, while your still young. <3

Need to talk? I'm here. --->
  Send a message via MSN to *~Circus Clown~*  
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FlyingTrue Offline
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Re: I'm not okay. - April 29th 2010, 02:57 AM

Sometimes when I have flashbacks of my past, I wonder how bad the people that hurt me would feel if I had died, in particular the girl I had the obsessive issue with in the past. Even though I have no reason to kill myself. When you realize you are having these thoughts you have to try thinking of something else. That is what I have to do.
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Make A Wish ☼
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Re: I'm not okay. - April 29th 2010, 05:46 PM

I've honestly been trying. I've tried everything I can think of but they keep coming back in my head. I don't even wanna die. Like, I know I have a future ahead of me and everything and I know I have people who love me and care about me. But when I get this way, none of that seems to matter. Like, I'm so willing to just throw it out the window. I don't kow.


Life is to short to put it off anymore
You gotta live it before itís too late
I canít turn that clock back around
On what youíre dreaming about
You better do it now, donít wait

Do something crazy and dumb, while your still young. <3

Need to talk? I'm here. --->
  Send a message via MSN to *~Circus Clown~*  
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Wink Re: I'm not okay. - April 29th 2010, 08:05 PM

maybe since things are going really good you worried about them going bad which is making you all sad an depressed. Its hard to accept good things that come you way when you had tons of bad ones, but thats what life is you have to be able to accept both the good and the bad because we cant have one without the other.
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