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Freakshow Offline
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Unhappy On a downward spiral... how to avoid the crash at the end? - April 30th 2010, 06:59 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm currently a junior in high school. This year is supposedly the most important year of my high school career, yet it has been the toughest by far. For various reasons, my family has stopped receiving a regular flow of income because my dad technically doesn't have a job anymore, and my mother's always been unemployed. Second, I transferred high schools to an ultra-competitive small private school that's halfway around the world from where my parents and many of my childhood friends are, and found out recently that I'll be moving again to a different state for next year (my senior year). Since I'm no longer living with immediate family, I have to put up with my aunt and uncle working long hours during the day, so the house is empty most of the time. On top of everything, my aunt shares some very different opinions from those of my parents, and she's also an extremely opinionated person. Most of the time I don't see her around very often, but many times when we do, we're often fighting or bickering over insignificant things. For example, she had the temerity to go around telling people I had social problems, when all I wanted was just to study and do homework quietly upstairs in my room. Apparently she thinks this "isn't normal" because both her sons, my cousins, used to do their homework downstairs in the kitchen all the time when they were in high school. Obviously, people are different and each require different circumstances to work productively, but for some reason she can't seem to accept that.

All these family circumstances, coupled with the competitiveness of my current school, have seen my grades and physical/mental state of being suffer greatly. I consider myself VERY fortunate to still have maintained decent grades despite all of this (nothing below a B, although noticeably more B's than usual). But what I'm concerned about most is that I'm currently on a downward spiral, headed towards an inevitable crash at the bottom. In the past couple of days, I suffered some very painful migraines, and when I weighed myself on the bathroom scale this morning, I found that I had lost 5 pounds from the last time I weighed myself (which was only a month ago). I think this is sort of an end result of all the above factors I stated.

I can't talk to my aunt about any of this since our relationship at this point is so strained. My own parents are thousands of miles away from me and often are unable to talk due to the differences in time, and also have their own worries due to our very tight financial situation. Now as senior year approaches, I have to worry about applying to colleges, and I'm concerned since I've been looking at highly selective schools all this time, the slight grade dip during what is supposed to be the most important year will put me out of the running altogether. I've heard that it's possible to obtain explanations, but I doubt they'll want to hear any because they receive so many complaints of this kind year after year.

My apologies in advance for writing so much. I'm just feeling so much stress and even depression that I don't know how much longer I'll be able to last. I literally feel as though I'm wasting away... thoughts or advice, anyone? I'd REALLY appreciate your help.
   
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Re: On a downward spiral... how to avoid the crash at the end? - April 30th 2010, 07:33 PM

I can relate to what your going through. My junior year in high school was a nightmare. I started out the school year by attempting suicide so I missed a lot of school because I was in the hospital and outpatient therapy. I also have severe social anxiety, so half way through my junior year I was unable to leave my house. I did not leave for 3 months. My midterm grades we all around 50 for my classes because of how much I missed. While I was out of school I tried to do the work myself and had teachers come in to tutor me but nothing was working. I ended up checking myself back into a hospital and that became a horrible situation. Much like you, due to all the stress, I had lost weight and was having trouble eating because I always felt anxious and sick to my stomach. In the hospital I was told I had an eating disorder because of this and the doctors ingnored my anxiety and depression. I was so angry about this that I decided I would prove everyone wrong. I became classified Special Ed as being "serverly emotionally disturbed." I was placed in a special classroom in my high school. I ended up teaching myself all my classes and passed them all with Bs. However, I was extremely anxious about apply for college because my grades were lower than normal. I was also planning on apply to competitive schools. However, after apply for school I realized that not many people go through such stressful moments like that that can influence their grades. In my college applications, for my essay I wrote about my grades and what I had been through (to some degree). I was accepted to all of the colleges that I applied to and even received scholarships.
My point is- yes junior year is important, but so are all the other years in high school. Colleges are willing to understand situations, especially if you explain how you have grown from your experiences. Colleges want people who are well rounded and who have experienced things because it only makes you stronger. I know that you are very stressed about your grades and colleges and everything, but the truth is...if you cant slow down a little to take care of yourself, it doesnt matter what college your get accepted it if your not there to attend. If you work so hard until you have hit rock bottom then its not going to help anyone. You have to try to find a balance between your school work and taking care of yourself- which is not always easy.

Can you talk to a social worker or counselor at school? I understand that its hard for you to talk to your aunt and your parents are so far away. But maybe there is someone at school who you can talk to- that way it is free. If not, maybe you can ask your aunt if you can see a counselor/therapist. A LOT of teens/young adults applying for colleges and in college see therapists because of stress. You can even just tell your aunt that your stressed about stuff and need someone to talk to- you dont have to tell her in detail what you want to talk about. If you cant ask your aunt or uncle then look into someone at school since you wont need your aunt/uncle to know.
I hope that maybe something I said was helpful. If you ever need/want to talk or vent you can pm me.
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Re: On a downward spiral... how to avoid the crash at the end? - May 1st 2010, 09:05 AM

Thanks! Do you think I should get in touch with someone at school? I feel like I should tell somebody...
   
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Re: On a downward spiral... how to avoid the crash at the end? - May 3rd 2010, 01:52 AM

Just stopping by again to say thanks for the advice -- I'm happy to report that things have been getting better ever since I spoke to the school counselor over the phone. To those who are reading this thread, keep in mind that the school counselor is an excellent person to talk to under any circumstance!
   
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Re: On a downward spiral... how to avoid the crash at the end? - May 3rd 2010, 05:20 AM

I am so happy to hear that you spoke to the school counselor and that things have been getting better!
Junior year really is a stressful and scary year for a lot of people so thats great that you contacted someone from your school because they would be the one to be able to offer you the best help and advice.
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Re: On a downward spiral... how to avoid the crash at the end? - May 10th 2010, 04:05 AM

Hey, sorry for having to bump this thread up again, but I'm on the brink of having a breakdown once again. As you guys may have inferred from the opening post, I don't exactly live with very supportive people, and I've also taken to sleeping excessively and often very soundly as a result of my semi-depressive state. I see sleep as a way to escape all my troubles and to basically just escape life. :/ But my aunt and uncle often laugh at the fact that I'm sleeping excessively, almost as though they're hinting that I'm lazy in some respect.

Can't they see I have a problem?!
   
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Re: On a downward spiral... how to avoid the crash at the end? - May 10th 2010, 05:07 AM

Bump... I really need to make sure I don't fall apart before the school year's over with :/ Any suggestions would be sincerely appreciated!
   
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Re: On a downward spiral... how to avoid the crash at the end? - May 10th 2010, 05:18 AM

Did you talk to a counselor at your school?

Im very sorry to hear that your aunt and uncle are basically calling you lazy instead of understanding that its depression and all. Its frustrating when that happens.

I would say talk to someone- a teacher, counselor, anyone- about what has been going on. Also when it comes to your work, kinda make a list of what you have to get done that day to keep yourself organized. Make up a schedule so that you are not doing too much in one day but also to make sure that you are getting enough done so that you do not have to rush and panic about getting it done.
I dont have any real advice unfortunately. I would say just take it one day at a time. try to organize your time so that you can have time to do work and also some down time to just hang out and watch tv, or hang with friends, or play a game.
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Re: On a downward spiral... how to avoid the crash at the end? - May 11th 2010, 06:42 PM

^ Thanks again And don't worry about not being helpful, you're actually helping out a lot more than you think
   
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