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Chaos Theory Offline
Knowledge will truimph.
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Keep trying, keep failing. No, I am giving up. - May 4th 2010, 08:04 PM

I really want to just jump off the ISB right now and be the end of it. I am hopeless. Apparently I failed my third engineering test and the average is super-high on this test. I failed my second test as well. This is hopeless. Why am I so fucking stupid? Why can't I do as good as other people? I studied like everyone else, I stayed out later than my friends after our study section to go over the notes again before I go to sleep. But, I am doing the worst in my class.

I am so tired. All these years trying to learn English and adjust myself here, for what? Exactly, what that fuck is that for? I stuided for so long, wored so hard, never rested, and still I never got into Carnegie Mellon, my dream school, still I cannot even do good in my exams. I am so stupid as to screw up one test after the other. I am not the one child with so many potential my parents always look forward to.

I am a failure. My existence is a failure. The world could use less of one failure. I could end this string of pathetic failures by just jump off the building. Then, I am not going to have to deal with the final, which I probably going to fail anyways.

Life is a torture.


To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty; To find the best in others; To give of one's self; To leave the world a bit better...; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - This is to have succeeded. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

http://www.formspring.me/ToucheTurtle <-- Ask me a question
   
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Re: Keep trying, keep failing. No, I am giving up. - May 4th 2010, 08:57 PM

No, Marco. You are not failing -- far from it. Also, the notion that you're "stupid" or "a failure" just because of the results of some test is COMPLETELY false. Your grade simply shows that you've approached the material in an ineffective way, NOT because you are inherently stupid.

If outside links are allowed here, I'd like to direct your attention to the following post in Cal Newport's blog (I think I mentioned it to you earlier in another of your threads): http://calnewport.com/blog/2010/04/0...t-should-i-do/

I think you'll find it very helpful and relevant to your situation. Remember that engineering is one of the most difficult majors out there, and the fact that you're in it alone shows that you are clearly intellectually capable.

EDIT: If links are prohibited and the link in this post ends up getting edited out, PM me and I'll send it to you there

Last edited by Freakshow; May 4th 2010 at 09:00 PM. Reason: More to add
   
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FlyingTrue Offline
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Re: Keep trying, keep failing. No, I am giving up. - May 4th 2010, 10:35 PM

Marco,
I think it would be best if you were to talk out your difficulties with your teacher who could probably be able to help you with your troubles with the material. Don't think just because you failed a couple tests, it means that your dreams are all over. I felt the same way when I failed a vocabulary test in the fifth grade. But today, I am living a lot of my dreams right now.
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Chaos Theory Offline
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Re: Keep trying, keep failing. No, I am giving up. - May 6th 2010, 04:24 AM

Hey Castadiva, I really loved that website you gave me. In fact, I just made some changes in my next semester schedule, if grad schools just looks for GPA.

Flying True, my teacher is a renowned researcher but he doesn't give a rat ass to students. I am going to mash my head against hte book even more for the finals...hopefully this time it might help my grade =/


To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty; To find the best in others; To give of one's self; To leave the world a bit better...; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - This is to have succeeded. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

http://www.formspring.me/ToucheTurtle <-- Ask me a question
   
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Re: Keep trying, keep failing. No, I am giving up. - May 6th 2010, 09:09 AM

You're very welcome! I'm glad you found the website useful; I had a hunch you would.
   
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