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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Disclosure. Offline
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Unhappy Last night. - May 18th 2010, 11:16 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Well, last night I actually had thoughts and urges to commit suicide. It was the strongest urge I've had in a long time. I also thought that if I didn't commit suicide than I would at least hurt myself...but I didn't commit suicide nor did I hurt myself.

And the reason why I felt like this? I'll tell you why:

I had one of the best days yesterday. I went to see a production of Hamlet because that's what we're studying in English. We travelled roughly an hour, an hour and a half away to the beach where the pavillion was. The bus we were travelling on was a party one so there were lights and mini sub-woofer speakers around the bus. These 2 guys were holding up signs to people out in the cars along the highway saying stuff like "SOS, Help us!, No seriously help us! and We're on a party bus!" It was really funny and even the school captain got involved with supplying the paper so the 2 guys could write on them. One car pulled down their window and started talking to one of the guys along the highway and the guy was like "Help us! We're on a party bus!" and the man was like "I can't hear you," while all along the guy that was sitting next to him was laughing, not to mention a hottie . Then my teacher came and shut the window because it was "too dangerous." Then on the way back, these 2 tradesmen were pissing themselves laughing at the signs and the man sitting in the passenger seat starting writing signs back to us. We played Noughts and Crosses with them for a bit and then the guy wrote "Nice try, we're off to the pub now, see ya." Again this guy was hot . And then the guys drove off .

But as soon as I arrived home, that's when everything started going downhill...and it was my fault.

I told my best friend I didn't want to be his friend anymore because I kept on hurting him and it obviously hurt him a lot. Even though we're best friends again, when I told him that it felt like I had lost a part of me.

Then I was going to go over a friends place to make out and have sex with him but I said I was going over this other girls house. The guy came to the door and my parents found out. I obviously got in shit for it. My Mum hit me and said that she was really disappointed in me and called me pathetic. So I went up to my room and just cried. I wanted SO badly to end my life right then and there or at the very least hurt myself.


   
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Re: Last night. - May 18th 2010, 12:46 PM

hello rianna.

Clearly.. that was an unlucky day. But sometimes.. parents can overreact in a way and call heir own children things which they dont mean.. but just remember that you can get through this =) nothing cant be healed with time. And remember that your parents clearly care for you. But as with everyone else, they too have a temper. And when that is overruled by anger, bad things do happen.

This is clearly just a bad day, nothing more.. remember that there are so many good things to look forward to =) Never forget that.

And remember that we're always going to be here to pick you up and listen in case you need someone to talk to.

caring always.


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

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