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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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i cant help myself - May 18th 2010, 03:00 PM

last night i asked my mam about going to the doctors she asked what it was for and i told her i was having problems sleeping and was wondering about sleeping pills.she went mental and started comparing me to all my friends as if i was a complete failure and almost as if i should be like them .
i wanted to go to the doctors to sort out myself,to find out why i feel so awful, but thats never gonna happen.shes messed all of her kids up and then wonders why we all hate her.
im gonna have to either leave this house or kill myself.
i have no family nearby to stay with only a worthless dad who hasnt spoke to me in 13 years, i think hed be a bit suprised to find his daughter on his door step after all this time, and plus he has other kids,none of which he wants.
so leaving the house is out of the question.
her stupid remarks annoyed me so much i ended up self harming on both my wrists and the tops of my arms.its a lot better than what i was originally going to do,i felt like slitting my throat.i really cant deal with any of this anymore, how am i suposed to get out of this mess when i can't even see the doctor or a school counciler?please help
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant help myself - May 18th 2010, 03:18 PM

It may not seem like it, but you do have many more options. Suicide and running away, although it can seem like it, are never your only option.

A lot of people have trouble sleeping, and contrary to your mom's opinion, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Recognizing that you are having difficulty in resloving this yourself in the first place is a huge step forward. It might not be always easy, but you're never stuck with just those two options. At school, are there any administrators you could talk to if a counselor isn't available? What about trusted adults, such as a neighbor, or family friend? Have you considered speaking with your primary physician the next time you are able to see him or her?

You can also look online at your local government's webpage, and likely there could be information that would lead to local resources that could assist you.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant help myself - May 18th 2010, 03:39 PM

theyres no adults that i trust at all,i have older brothers and sisters and theres only one of them that i know i could trust,but shes got to much to worry about as it is,i couldn't put extra stress on her.i dislike all of the teachers in my school and there are only 2 school councilers ,but i dont want to see a counciler in school because everyone in my class would no ive been to see them.its not just problems sleeping,its the self harm aswell,its been going on for too long i really just want to end it one way or another.is there any way of persuading my mam to bring me to the doctors other than telling her about the self harm or asking about my sleeping problems,because i feel comfortable speaking to my doctor rather than anyone else.
   
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Re: i cant help myself - May 18th 2010, 04:00 PM

Can you go to the doc yourself?
He might have to tell your mum the outcome of the visit but at least he will listen to you as well. Im not sure if that would be an option.

I no when i was in school I didnt want the rest of the people in my class to no i was seeing a councillor so i wet at lunch time instead of during class. You could ask if you can arrange something like that, im sure they will try their best to help you.

I no your home situation sucks at the moment but the reality of it is your young so your stuck there. I dont mean that to sound harsh but its true. U cant change that so what can you change? What can u do yourself to make it seem a bit more bearable? Do you have friends you trust?

I no you dont want to bother your sis but im sure she wouldnt want you to keep in all in. If u trust her then talk to her and see if she can help


But so many people are looking to me
to be strong and to fight

but i'm just surviving
and I may be weak but I'm never defeated

and I'll keep believing
in clouds with that sweet silver lining



   
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Re: i cant help myself - May 18th 2010, 04:10 PM

couldnt go to the doctors myself becuase the doctor that i usually go to is only there on a wednesday morning,id need to take time off school for that or wait another few weeks untill im off school,but it just seems to long to wait.i dont want any of my friends to know that ive been to the school counciler and theyd notice if i wasnt there at lunch,i dont want pity from them or for them to talk behind my back. i supose ill wait the few weeks n go to the doctors myself,ill just hold out till then,thanks for the advice
   
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Re: i cant help myself - May 18th 2010, 04:17 PM

If your going to wait a few weeks to see you doctor how are you going to cope? Are you going to be ok?


But so many people are looking to me
to be strong and to fight

but i'm just surviving
and I may be weak but I'm never defeated

and I'll keep believing
in clouds with that sweet silver lining



   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i cant help myself - May 18th 2010, 08:40 PM

i dunno.i hope so,right now i dont feel to bad,i just hope things dont get anyworse,ill just try and stay out of the house as much as possible and try and be with friends,i might not be able to talk to them about this but it will ocupy my mind for a while.
its just the not sleeping that cant be delt with,if i cant sleep i have to much time to think about everything,even doing something stupid.if i can manage to get through the nights for the nexts few weeks hopefully ill be ok.ive managed by myself for a while now,if i just try a bit harder i should get through this,
   
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Smile Re: i cant help myself - May 18th 2010, 09:27 PM

see, there must be a lot more options.. may be you dint go through all of them?!
don't harm yourself ever again.. It's not going to help in ANYway.
keep your cool.. i know it's tough, but.. you just have to do it.
there'll be some way out and you'll find it. we'll help you find it.
As concerns your mom, just try and forgive her.. it'll make you feel better. May be she has got her problems too, right?
AND, Don't even think of suicide..
"Suicide is a permanent solution for temporary problems."
Keep hoping and remember we're here to help!
   
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