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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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ahtnamas Offline
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Depressed... - June 2nd 2010, 02:51 AM

So lately Iíve been doing a lot of thinkingÖ the main problem is that I donít like talking to people. Iíve tried it a couple times lately and that didnít work out so well.

What do you do when you start to feel like youíre losing your self-worth? Thatís what I'm feeling. I canít get why people are willing to be my friend anymore. All I do is annoy, frustrate, and piss people off. I donít benefit anyone really. I donít knowÖ I really donít feel that I should talk to anyone. I donít know, I feel like I'm just a burden to everyone. Why make them carry my pain? There is no point for it. I feel like if I wasnít here there would be a lot less problems. I caused so much pain and problems for my ďfriendsĒ this year; and for my parents too. I upset my family one way or another like every day this year.

I donít know what made me start to think like this, I never thought this way before. Itís really strange for me. I tried talking to my friends about it. But no matter what a person says, no matter how emotional the conversation is, and how much it hurt talking about it, itís a hard thing to shake off.

I feel like thatís the only thing I say now on, I donít know. I canít see to understand anything thatís going on anymore. People seem to think Iím hiding the truth or something, but I'm not. I canít see to understand things, I try to organize everything but I canít.

Do I go to therapy or not? Do I admit defeat? Am I really losing control? Thatís all Iím feeling, that Iím losing control. What else do you say is happening when you feel like the whole world is crashing down around you? All I see is the bonds that I have spent a long time building up are breaking before my eyes.

I canít eat, sleep or even breathe anymore. Not because of the attacks, I can handle those. Itís the aftermath of them. All the arguments, all the confusion, all the thoughts, all the emotion, all the everything, I canít stand it! I wish that people donít make them into a bigger deal then they are. I can deal; I have been dealing for a while now.

Why is it that I get yelled at for not telling people when I have the attacks and when I do tell people I get yelled at for having the attacks? What do people want from me. Sometimes I need to rant, or I just need a distraction. Maybe thatís my problem; Iím bringing to much attention to them. Maybe if I donít talk to people about the attack and I donít let people know Iím getting one, things will go back to normal.

I need to get out of this funk I'm in. Right now Iím willing to do this by any means necessary. Well, maybe not any means, but I really want to. I usually get into funks, and I usually get out of them after a bit. I just have to wait and get out of this one to, it might take more work but I have to, thereís no choice in this matter.
   
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Re: Depressed... - June 2nd 2010, 10:47 PM

I know the feelings that you're describing, and I just thought I'd say that if you have people that are still willing to be your friend, then there is obviously a reason for it. It seems that it's possible that therapy could help you. This is going to be a short post, but I just thought I'd say it's actually admirable that you are willing to put in the effort to change some of the things that are going on. You shouldn't give up.


"Would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven" -Tears in Heaven: Eric Clapton
   
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lifeguard tom Offline
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Re: Depressed... - June 3rd 2010, 05:48 AM

dude i understand where your coming from. You can shake out of this "funk" your in. You need to stop overthinking things and enjoy yourself from time to time. Try to think of something you use to do without a care in the world. (like playing pool or basketball.. maybe reading or swimming) can you think of it?? well go do that thing and see how you feel. If you enjoy doing it continue to do it. then invite one of your friends to do it with you. then you can have a good time with your friend and whenever you get bad thoughts you can think of that good time and when your going to do it next.

just remember dude depression and social anxiety are powerful forces. They can be overcome but not easily. You need to get more powerful than the funk you've gotten into or that funk will continue to beat you down. Think of things that impower you things you are good at and go do those things!

good luck! work hard!
   
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