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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Learntolift Offline
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feeling depressed again - June 13th 2010, 06:38 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

it used to happen and it has just come back a couple days ago. let me start by saying i have a great life, i go to a good college, am in a fraternity, everythings great there.

but im home for the summer and i live in a smaller town, like 10,000 people i think, and i just dont know anyone here anymore. i went to highschool like 30 minutes away and i lsot touch with my friends because i dont like them anymore, and now ive been home for summer for a few weeks and it just hit me how depressed i am. i literally know no one here and feel depressed, bored, and lonely. i think part of it is cause i was just 'chasing' this girl (figuratively) and it looks like i failed lol, which i am so shocked by.

but yeah, i mean i work during the weekdays in an office with a bunch of older people full time, i work out, and i hang out at home. thats my life here, and im sick of it but A. theres not that many people here, i mean there are enough, but B. i dont know where the hell everyone is all the time, ill see people driving or when im working out my age, but what good is that?

i went to the movies last night with a guy i know, hes 28 much older so he doesnt really count as a friend to hang out with and all that, but we went and this girl working at the cash register inside for food and what not kept eyeing me so i figure ill go back there next friday around the same time and flirt with her and see where i can get with that

but in general i just feel so depressed, maybe its because nothing EVER seems to work out for me,at least the things i REALLY want to work out never do. i almost wonder if im bi-polar or something...

anyone have anything to say about any of this, or any advice, etc?
   
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Re: feeling depressed again - June 13th 2010, 06:44 AM

and also, like just looking at me youd think im totally fine..idk wtf is up with me, i mean im totally normal, at least on the surface...i laugh, make jokes, etc, but i think deep down ive never been TRULY happy
   
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Re: feeling depressed again - June 13th 2010, 01:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Learntolift View Post
and also, like just looking at me youd think im totally fine..idk wtf is up with me, i mean im totally normal, at least on the surface...i laugh, make jokes, etc, but i think deep down ive never been TRULY happy


I agree 100%. It's the same consept for me too. No one could guess I want my life to be over by just looking, and even if I tell they think I'm lying or making another joke. Why? I have no idea. But it bothers me somtimes.
   
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Re: feeling depressed again - June 13th 2010, 06:03 PM

Same here dude. Small town - high school passed me by. I have no friends here or friends that are always busy and only get to see them from time to time. Fucking hate it. All home does is remind me how miserable I was for most of my life. If possible, I'd say - start over again in a big city, that seems to be working a lot for me.


"Maybe I just like people. Maybe sexuality isn't one thing or the other. Maybe it's just something that's shifting and moving. I just know I'm not thinking man or woman."
- SHAMELESS.
   
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