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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Palmolive Offline
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I'll tell you a secret, - June 19th 2010, 06:08 PM

Im thinking of killing myself.

The worst part? I'd leave all the people i love. Im scared of hurting them and making them do somethinf stupid. I'd throw away my future. I wouldn't ever be able to watch east enders again. I wouldnt be able to see Anna in the summer. I wouldn't be going to spain. I wouldn't wake to see the sun rising, and i wouldn't go to sleep after the sun sets, ever.

The best part? I would't have to self harm anymore. I wouldn't purge anymore. I wouldn't worry about becoming fat. I wouldn't feel low and go through depression. I wouldn't have to ever tell again that i'm suicidal. I wouldn't have nightmares. My body won't be used as a punch bag. I won't hurt people and let them down anymore. I wouldn't be a pain. And i would be free.


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Union Of V Offline
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Re: I'll tell you a secret, - June 19th 2010, 06:15 PM

Now you've considered suicide, how about looking at the flip side of the coin - continuing life?

The worst part? You'll have to hang on a bit longer; sure you'll hurt some more, you'll have to keep fighting and struggling and finding yourself for a while.

The best part? When you're through, you'll be able to truly appreciate life, and look back on this time as when you showed your courage and determination. And, as with suicide, you'll be rid of all your current troubles.

So which seems the better deal?
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Re: I'll tell you a secret, - June 19th 2010, 06:16 PM

Please do not kill yourself. You even gave the worst part first which tells me deep down you want to live and get better. That is a great sign that you actually realize and deep down WANT to live for the reasons you gave in the first paragraph.

As for self harm, Eating disorder and the other issues in the second paragraph, there IS help out that for that.

Check out our thread in the self harm forum. It offers MANY things to do instead of self harm. Many of those same things may also help with purging

Also, if need be talk to someone it may be a parent, youth leader, or other trusted adult. Lastly do NOT be afraid to asks for professional help.

hang in there.
   
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Re: I'll tell you a secret, - June 19th 2010, 11:28 PM

Jessie,
You already have a list of pros and cons which is great! A lot of people have trouble with that and instead generalize their lives into thinking everything is terrible. Yes, everyone has hard things to deal with in their lives, but the little things like staying around for your family definately comes first. Focus on the positives you wrote out. Make the list even longer! I understand how impossible it may seem now, trust me. No, those thoughts won't completely go away (unfortunately) but if you take the time to focus on the great things in life, the pain will lessen and every once and a while, you may just forget how much pain you are in. Look forward to the good days, and put the bad days behind you. Every day is a new day and a new chance for happiness. There's always hope, you just have to keep looking, sometimes it likes to hide. You know I'm always here for you Jessie. You've been a huge help in my life and I want to be the same for you. Keep me updated okay?
Keep your head up,
Alessa


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