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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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bellaannx3 Offline
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I'm not me anymore. - June 28th 2010, 11:32 PM

I don't know what to do. I'm always angry or sad. I refuse to go out and do anything. I barely eat or talk to anyone. I constantly have the feeling like this big weight is on my chest. No one cares, and I honestly can't blame them. I'm not worth anything. I'm a complete waste of space. All i can do is think about how I've messed up so much and how i wish i could go back and fix everything. I'm such a screw up. I really just want to end it all. No one would care. Its not like i have any friends. I don't want to die, I just want to be myself again.
   
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Re: I'm not me anymore. - June 28th 2010, 11:43 PM

Hey,
You are NOT a waste of space, and do not let anyone tell you that you are because you are not.

Maybe try writing your feelings out in the form of a story or poem? This thread is also a huge step as it allows a way to help get that off your chest.

People would care if you were gone trust me. You may not feel you have any friends, but your family would certainly miss you if you were gone.

Try joining a club, this can help you make friends with whom you will have interests.

Overall, just talking it out and not keeping it bottled up is probably the best way to deal.
   
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Re: I'm not me anymore. - June 28th 2010, 11:46 PM

You could first write your thoughts and then decide whether to share them. I do not mean to imply that it might not be a good idea to share your thoughts. But if you cannot write your thoughts without worrying about what will happen when you share them, then just write your thoughts and that will be a step in the right direction.
   
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Re: I'm not me anymore. - June 29th 2010, 12:40 AM

I've tried that before. I even told two of my closest friends i had about how i felt. They wanted me to get help and i refused because i can't tell my parents. Since then, they both stopped speaking to me and now i have no one. I hate losing everything because of my stupid self.
   
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Re: I'm not me anymore. - June 30th 2010, 10:48 AM

You are not stupid. If anyone is to be labeled as such, it's those two "friends" that have now hurt you even more than before.

I'm so sorry for what's happened to you . No one deserves horrible treatment like that. Your friends aren't really all that friendly if they stop communication with you for not getting help. It's scary to ask your own parents about it for fear of being judged by people who know you the most. I haven't told my parents I used to cut or have depression, but don't follow what I've done. Do what you feel is right in order to become better, whatever that may be, so that you can get on the path to starting anew.

I understand it may be hard to tell another person how you feel after your most recent experience, and that's perfectly fine. But please do tell someone else what you're feeling right now sometime soon. What you're feeling is something I can definitely relate to, and so do many other people here. Anyone who responded to this thread is definitely someone you can confide in, and there are plenty of others beyond that. PM if you want to talk or anything, really. We're here for you and we care. Don't ever forget that .


"Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods." - Artistotle

"There comes a point in life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will."

"A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else."

"The worst feeling you'll ever feel is sitting next to the person who means the world to you, knowing that you mean nothing to them."
   
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