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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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i really want help now - July 18th 2010, 11:55 PM

the past few weeks have been hard for me,especially the long nights,
i can't sleep because there's just too much on my mind and when i talk about it to a friend or family member i feel like an attention seeker so i'd rather keep it to myself.
i don't like people pitying me because of the way my life turned out,my bf did that the other night when i kind of opened up to him about everything well everything except my self harm although he did ask me if i did because he seen the scars but i just denied it,i nearly burst into tears
.but telling him is bigest regret of my life,i wish he knew nothing now because all he can say now is that ive got too much stress to deal with and he keeps thinking that im going to do something stupid.he said he feels sorry for me and what i have to cope with,i don't want that because since i told him he's treated me different almost as if im fragile and could brake at any moment.
but anyway the past few years have been hard but not as hard as this im now at breaking point and i know if i don't sort myself out soon i will commit suicide.i feel guilty and scared im not sure why though.maybe im scared of whats going to happen,but im not sure tbh.
i want to go to the doctors on wednesday ,and tell her everything but i don't want to tell my mam the reason why i want to go.
should i fake being ill?like i'd need to be really ill for my mam to bring me to the doctors,like id go myself but she'd be wondering why i was out of the house so early because the doctor that i like is only there on a wednesday from 9 till 11.30 and i ormally don't go out till 2 ish. so what can i do to get her to bring me to the doctors because i really want this to stop now ?
   
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Re: i really want help now - July 19th 2010, 12:33 AM

Hey there. First of all, it's going to be okay.

Honestly, I think that you should tell your mom that you are under some stress and you have feelings that you are not sure how to handle and that you'd like to talk with your doctor about it. It's perfectly okay and acceptable to talk to a doctor about your feelings. They are professionals, and most family doctors and pediatricians are trained in issues like this. If you need to talk, feel free to send me a PM.


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Re: i really want help now - July 19th 2010, 12:26 PM

Can you ask someone else to take you to the doctors? If not, feigning an illness is an option I guess. Telling your mum is a better one. I know that's easier said than done, but you could just say something like 'I've been feeling kind of sad lately and I wanted to go to the doctor about it'.

If you can't, maybe go with head or stomach aches, though neither are ideal.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I can relate to being embarrassed, but telling your boyfriend was a huge step and you should be seriously proud of yourself.

Why not talk to him about how you feel about it? You've already done it once. Just say that you appreciate everything he is doing for you but you don't want him to feel sorry for you.

Telling your boyfriend and going to the doctor and really big and strong steps to take and I hope you know how absolutely proud you should feel of yourself for taking them.

I know how appealing suicide can look sometimes, but it's never the answer. You just have to remember that while some people are happy and some are sad, nobody knows what is going to happen and we are all terrified of the future.

That's part of the fun to life

If this is how absolutely resilient and brave you are, then how can the future not be totally amazing and wonderful for you?
   
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Re: i really want help now - July 19th 2010, 10:28 PM

i really want to go to the doctors but i feel to afraid, if i mention my SH to the doctor,she'll have to tell my parents, if they find out everything would be 10 times worse,theyd constantly be checking up on me and i wouldnt have a life at all.
i shouldnt have told my bf because now everythings falling to pieces and were not really working out,but im trying hard not to let him bring me down. theres nobody who can bring me to the doctors anytime soon,maybe in a few weeks but thats too far away,i want to get this sorted out sooner rather than later,
i really dont want my parents to know about my depression because last time i was depressed they said i was too young to be depressed and i didnt even know what depression was,but they still kept checking up on me, if i tell the doctor about my self harm could i tell her to tell my sister or a trusted adult instead of my parents,because atleast then i'd feel a lot better ?
   
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Re: i really want help now - July 19th 2010, 11:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xHollyx View Post
i really want to go to the doctors but i feel to afraid, if i mention my SH to the doctor,she'll have to tell my parents, if they find out everything would be 10 times worse,theyd constantly be checking up on me and i wouldnt have a life at all.
Depends, do they have to tell your parents about Birth Control?

Depending on the laws of the land, they wouldn't have to tell your parents unless they fear you're suicidal. But if you're cutting without intentions of suicide, I think it'd be less likely that they tell. You could probably ask the Confidentiality Laws beforehand, worst-case.


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Re: i really want help now - July 20th 2010, 06:39 PM

well theyd have to tel your parents about birth control before your 16 i think,im not sure but im pretty sure they have to tell your parents incase anything happens to you, like i dont mind them them telling my sister she already knows and she looks out for me i can talk to her about anything and she wouldnt tell my parents,so if they have to tell someone they can tell her ,she supports me through everything.i want to get it sorted without my parents knowing
   
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Re: i really want help now - July 20th 2010, 09:04 PM

Hey there,

Sorry that you have to deal with so much but I want you to know that it will be okay and you can overcome all of this.

I know that you don't want to tell people about all you are struggling with because you don't want them to pity you. However, I don't think it would be pity as much as it would be concern. I think telling your family would be a good idea and if you are afraid of being pitied or treated differently maybe you could tell them that. Explain to them that treating you differently isn't going to help. Let them know that you want their support and understanding but you don't want to be treated as if you are fragile etc.

It might take them a while to fully understand this and do it but with time I think they can and will.

One thing I was thinking is maybe you could go to your doctor, explain your concerns about telling your parents and then ask your doctor to help you tell your parents. Some doctors are really good at explaining to parents how treating them differently could have a negative effect etc.

Another thing you could do is just tell your doctor how depressed you have been feeling and go from there. If this doctor isn't a counselor I am sure she would then refer you to one. Once that happened you could build up trust with the counselor and let him/her know about your self harm and explain your concerns about telling your parents. From there the counselor could probably help you figure out a way to tell them and help you get the message across that you don't want to be treated differently.

I know speaking up can be really hard to do but in the end it can help. No one should have to deal with these types of things alone. And, in reality, doing it on your own and keeping it a secret makes it a little bit harder. So speak up for yourself. Speak up so you can get help and really start enjoying life.

I hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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