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Question I think I might be bipolar - July 26th 2010, 01:48 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Two years ago I had my first bout with depression, I wrote a letter to my mom (It was easier for me to put what I was feeling into words on paper). So she took me to my family doctor and he gave me anti-depressant, while taking those my sleeping patterns were disturbed, he lowered my dosage and over a two month period I began feeling better so I stopped without my mom or doctor knowing thinking things were going back to normal. Every now and then since '08 I find my mood bouncing up and down non-stop, I'll have periods of just being sad and feeling useless and like it would be better for the people in my life if I were dead. Then I'd be back to what I guess is normal, then there would be periods where I'd feel so euphoric and be on cloud nine. Then something would set of a trigger and I would just go back into a somewhat depressive state. Recently, last week actually I believe I'm sinking back down into a depressive state again, I've been crying a lot more than usual, and I've been having a lot of thoughts about suicide, I went as far as almost starting to write a "goodbye" letter. I know deep down that I wouldn't actually go through with it, but the fact that these thoughts keep blaring in my head are really bothering me, I don't want to tell my mom this anymore and I'm afraid if I tell the doctor I'm having sucidal ideations that he'll put me in some hospital overnight. I just finished my first year at university, and maybe all those psychology course are getting to me and I'm self-diagnosing myself with bipolar disorder, but I've read the symptoms of that illness and it fits perfectly with my behaviour. Should I just go to the doctor and suck it up, or should I just hope the feelings/thoughts will pass by like they have before?
I apologize for the novel, thank you for any help =)
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Re: I think I might be bipolar - July 27th 2010, 12:58 AM

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few years ago. And you have alot of the symptoms I have/had. It also sounds like you are depressed.
First of all, NEVER stop a medicine without talking to your doctor first. The withdrawal effects- mentally and physically-- can be long-lasting and brutal. If you want to stop taking a medicine for whatever reason, talk to your doctor, he may want to wean you off or switch you on a different medication. Not all anti-depressants are the same- or effect you the same way. That is why there are so many different ones. I had to try alot of them first before I could find the right one that worked for me.

Being put in a rehab or hospital overnight is not a punishment. You want help, right? That is what it is. Ive been to rehab, Ive been in a hospital over night. Its not scary, they dont strap you to a bed, poke you, or put you in a room with psychos. They'll have you meet with a psychiatrist, a therapist, keep you on 24 hour watch to make sure you are safe.

Go to the doctor/psychiatrist. If you dont do or say anything, the problem will only get bigger and worse until one day, something bad is going to happen to you. You need to get a handle on it while you can. Dont be ashamed. Everyone has problems and things going on in their life- this is just yours.
The more you know about your illness, the better. Ignoring it WILL NOT make it go away. The best thing you can do for yourself is to take care of yourself.

Im sorry if I sound a bit harsh, but I feel as if its more helpful to be as direct and to the point as possible
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bipolar, bipolar disorder, depressed, manic

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