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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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FeistRawr Offline
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So close to ending it all... - July 28th 2010, 03:04 AM

I just can't deal with myself anymore. All I do is cause pain - to myself and others. I think I owe them. I have a huge bottle full of sleeping pills and I'm about to swallow them. I know that I should live for my first kiss, my favorite song, and all those other things in that sticky... But what good is that? I still will hurt people. I still won't help anyone or anything by continuing on with my pain and my existence. I'll help people. My family will be sad for a while, but they'll heal and I'll cause them more pain by still living. All I do is make them worry. I live a double life when I'm with them. I can't remember a day when I didn't lie constantly to them because they can't know what really goes on in my life. Anyways... I just think I should do it.


Self harm free since 1/15/11

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"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever" - Gandhi.

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Re: So close to ending it all... - July 28th 2010, 07:11 AM

I'm sure your family won't just be sad but devestated if you kill yourself. Think about how much guilt they will have to go through. They'll wonder what they couldve done to stop it and why they didn't see it coming. Dealing with a suicide is not easy so trust me just by breathing you are helping people.

How do you know your family won't accept you as you really are? Have you tried talkin to them? If they really love you they'll love you just as you are. Try to talk to your family and you might he surprised (in a good way) by their reaction.

Why don't you try volunteering somewhere? Use your strengths and skills to help someone else. Knowing that your making a positive difference in someone elses life will show you that no you don't only cause pain and that you mean something to this world.

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Re: So close to ending it all... - July 28th 2010, 05:36 PM

Killing yourself will help no one. You effect more people than you could ever know and they all love you. I think you should give your family some credit. They love you for you. People never recover from suicide of a close family member. I think volunteering is a great idea. Losing yourself in service can make you so much happier.


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