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shanadian Offline
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Unhappy Crazy guilt. - August 9th 2010, 10:32 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have no clue what forum to put this in, or if it's really triggering or not, but it makes me depressed and guilty, so here goes:

Last September, I found out that my best friend (I'll call her Megan) was pregnant with her father's child. He had been raping her almost nightly for the past six years or so.
I was the only person Megan told about it, and she asked me to get a pregnancy test for her. I asked my mom to buy one, and I ended up telling Mom who the father actually was.
We took Megan into our home for the weekend to keep her safe from her dad.
My mom arranged to meet Megan's mom and we explained the situation.
Megan's mom confronted her husband about it, and he confessed. He didn't deny what he had done.
However, Megan's mom didn't know exactly what to do and didn't call the police right away.
The next night, Megan's father committed suicide.
This all happened last September.

Megan later told me that a few days before, he had received a letter from the doctor telling him that he had lung cancer. That's probably a significant reason as to why he took his life.
But if he didn't have to deal with the consequences of raping his daughter, I think he wouldn't have done it.

I know that people need to be punished for their crimes, but death isn't the right punishment for what Megan's father did, besides the fact that she loved her father very much when he wasn't abusing her.

I just feel incredibly guilty because I feel that I killed him. I feel as if I murdered him. I don't want to talk about this with Megan because it's a painful subject for her, not to mention she might resent me if she starts thinking the way I do. I talked about this with my other best friend and she said that it was what he deserved.

What am I supposed to feel?
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Re: Crazy guilt. - August 9th 2010, 10:56 PM

I don't know if it's what he deserved or not. But I do know it's not your fault. Your friend absolutely deserved better and if you hadn't spoken to someone who knows how long it might have gone on for. I know your friend might have put on a brave face, but in truth coping with something like that is incredibly traumatic and it could very easily have been your friend that gave up on life, rather than her father. In this case someone completely innocent who had done nothing to deserve it would have suffered and lost their future instead.

There was nothing else that could have been done. You should be extremely proud that you helped your friend. Thanks to you she has her entire future ahead of her without ever having to worry. It's extremely unortunate what happened, it's ok to feel a little sad even, but that was her fathers choice and it couldn't be helped. If anything, your friend will need new people in her life who love and care now. Don't be guilty, be there for her instead. You've been an amazing friend to her and I'm positive she really needs you right now. Hope everything goes well.

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Re: Crazy guilt. - August 10th 2010, 04:49 AM

Thank you.

It was his choice. I will remember that. His choice.
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