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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
KiwiGal Offline
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a bullet - August 11th 2010, 01:35 AM

i hate feeling this low, i wanna find a gun and put it to my head. im so scared. allone, lost, confused. do i want to die? no? do i want to live? no.
ive tried to get help. ive really tried. it doesnt help. maybe.... no i wont, i canno let mum see me there. fuck fuck fuk fuck!!! im so scared i cant do this anymore. save me.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: a bullet - August 11th 2010, 02:36 AM

Beka. NO.
DO NOT GET A GUN.
You are not alone. I am here for you
Beka, i know you have tried. I think, even though you dont want your mom to know, you should try to go to counseling.
You CAN do it, i have faith in you. you are strong. you rock!!
Dont give up. You are awesome person.
I'd miss you soooooo much. (x 9876543219876543211)
Remember all those things that you tell me? I think it is time that you tell yourself those things that you tell me.


Beka, i'm always here for you.
love you lots, and ill talk to you in a bit.

Jodie
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: a bullet - August 11th 2010, 02:41 AM

Please don't. I know someone who did that. And I wonder to this day way. Suicide terrifies me because of that one day.
Honestly, I think suicide is selfish. Because you're leaving so many people who love and know you with so many questions and alot of pain.

Please don't do that. No matter what the reason may be. :/
You may regret it. That's something you can NEVER go back on. Try to believe in fate, when your time is done, it will happen on it's own.

If you need someone to vent to, ever, PM me.

Best of luck, please be safe.
   
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Re: a bullet - August 11th 2010, 03:01 AM

i know its selfish, i wont do it. mums home. i just had an extreme low thats all,


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: a bullet - August 11th 2010, 03:17 AM

Glad to hear you're doing better...and definitely don't get a gun if you're in that "it doesn't matter whether I live or die" state. I've lost a relative to an accidental "suicide" by handgun, and have scared myself a number of times when I've been suicidal and realized I had a gun in my bedroom closet. For a suicidal person, guns are scary precisely because they don't seem so -- unlike pills or razors, there's no time for second thoughts or 911.



The neon burns a hole in the night, and the Freon burns a hole in the sky.
You can find my kind living right on the fault line, eyes on the seaside, lives on the B-side, kites on the power lines.
   
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Re: a bullet - August 11th 2010, 03:20 AM

i dont have a gun in the house (good thing i guess) ive tried to od once it was dam shitty. im trying to keep living. i even had a good day yesterday, but today turned to crapp idk how or why?


KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: a bullet - August 11th 2010, 03:24 AM

That used to happen to me all the time. It was like a switch tripping in my mind, and I'd go from acing an exam or partying on a friday night to looking up suicide methods on the internet. Unfortunately, sometimes it seems there's just no rational explanation. For me it was actually the antidepressants I was taking. I still feel suicidal occasionally, but at least I can understand why. Keep holding on, and PM me if there's any way I can help.



The neon burns a hole in the night, and the Freon burns a hole in the sky.
You can find my kind living right on the fault line, eyes on the seaside, lives on the B-side, kites on the power lines.
   
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Re: a bullet - August 11th 2010, 03:50 AM

would you suggest anti depressants or not? i might ask about them but im scared to


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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: a bullet - August 11th 2010, 03:56 AM

I would not recommend them, but that's based purely on personal experience and I know people who've been helped by meds. I'd recommend you talk to a therapist first, then a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists will generally try to form at least a semi-accurate picture of what you're going through, but it's best when they coordinate with a psychologist that you've been seeing. NEVER go to a general physician (unless you just need a check-up or refills) and generally not a nurse practitioner. These people don't give a damn and prescribe everyone Zoloft. Then they don't listen when you tell them it nearly made you kill yourself, and "hey, try Prozac!" End rant



The neon burns a hole in the night, and the Freon burns a hole in the sky.
You can find my kind living right on the fault line, eyes on the seaside, lives on the B-side, kites on the power lines.
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: a bullet - August 11th 2010, 04:01 AM

haha im seeing my school councerlor atm. he has recommened that i try a psychiatrist, i might give it a go, but im scared


KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!
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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: a bullet - August 11th 2010, 04:42 AM

Have you considered group counseling? I liked it, it definitely didn't seem like as much of an interrogation. But really, don't be scared, unless of course you have something to hide...

You can let out whatever you feel in here, leonard.

All right, I'ma tell you right now, I ain't crazy. I don't need no psychiatrist. And if you ever tell anybody I've been in here I'll fuckin kill ya.

It's confidential here, Leonard. I won't tell anyone. It's just between us.

In that case, I am crazy, and I'll fuckin kill ya.



The neon burns a hole in the night, and the Freon burns a hole in the sky.
You can find my kind living right on the fault line, eyes on the seaside, lives on the B-side, kites on the power lines.
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: a bullet - August 11th 2010, 04:58 AM

hmmmm i wouldnt hide anything

total lie, i dont tell people somethings but mmm


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  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: a bullet - August 12th 2010, 04:43 AM

arghhhh! i why do i keep making my self feel worsee by involving myself in my friends lifes. i want to help them i know its bad for me, but i carry on anyway. it just depressed me even more


KEEP YOUR CHIN UP!
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