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Crescendo Offline
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Unhappy seeking support - October 3rd 2010, 05:29 PM

I've been feeling pretty suicidal the past couple of days and i dont know what to do.

I'm actually living in a treatment center and have told a bunch of staff about my thoughts but they havent had any helpful input. i don't want to be in the hospital (which is more restrictive than the place i'm living now) because it just makes me more depressed to be locked up like that. i like my treatment center, but i miss being at home. I've been here for ten weeks and although the program is no specific amount of time, because i've just started a school here and theres no schools near my house that will accept me, it's likely i will be here another year and a half to two years.

i'm feeling very depressed and have had some beliefs that i know are delusional like thinking evil spirits are infecting my loved ones and then my loved ones will hurt me but its hard to let go of those beliefs even though i know they dont make sense and sound crazy to other people.

I feel crazy and hopeless and trapped.

i've talked to my parents and they are sympathetic but don't have any advice other than to talk to the staff which i do already.

i don't want to keep living this life, and i don't see any alternatives other than death.

Any help is appreciated.

When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
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Re: seeking support - October 3rd 2010, 09:01 PM

I don't know if this will be of any help what-so-ever but it helps me when I feel down. First is this quote:

"Pain is your friend; it is your ally. Pain reminds you to finish the job and get the hell home. Pain tells you when you have been seriously wounded. And you know what the best thing about pain is? It tells you you're not dead yet!"

You feel depressed now and if it's anything like how I often feel suddenly the world seems sufforcatingly horrid and with nothing nice but it's not there is always a light at the end of the tunner. Two years is nothing in the grand scheme of things people have been born and lived and died for thousands of years and they will for years to come. In two years time when you go home it will seem like nothing! I know that probably isn't any help to hear now but I hope it is!

What is your dream in life?
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