TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
blacklilac Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
blacklilac's Avatar
 
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 53
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: May 2nd 2010

a vat of horridness. - November 1st 2010, 08:05 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

hi.

i recently realised that the majority of my posts here are always about my studies. and this, really, is no different. i've been doing really badly for most of my tests, which doesn't bode well, especially if you're a scholar. and now i've gone and flunked my end of years, and am currently waiting for my teacher mentor to get back to me as to whether or not the ministry of education has terminated my scholarship or not.

my parents were actually really understanding about my dismal results, because they knew i studied. i really studied as hard as possible for the exams because i knew it could be my last chance to save my results. they accuse me of fangirling too much and neglecting my studies, which is completely untrue yet they refuse to believe it despite me telling them frankly that education will always be more important than fangirling to me. i mean, school is a torture. but getting an education is still important, and might remotely be of use in the future. the emphasis being on might. but they just refuse to believe me!

i'm having a really important government exam in nine days, and i decided to go to my friend's house to relax for a while, as well as study for that. it's a chinese exam, so technically i'm just doing practices. and i'm really doing it! even though my friend keeps trying to convince me to learn a dance with her but i decided to learn it after the exam, and i'm sticking with it.

my phone ran out of battery this morning, and my mother, who loves to call me repeatedly just to repeat herself, with no regard for the huge international phone bill, apparently thought i was deliberately avoiding her calls and called one of my roomates, my classmate, probably my teacher mentor, probably the hostel staff, and after she called me on my friend's phone to yell at me, she was going to call the temple because she's convinced someone cursed me to turn me into the way i am now. what am i now?!

my mother is fixated on grades. she used to tell me that as long as i studied for a test, it doesn't matter how i do, and she was understanding after i got my end of year results back, but now she abruptly changed, AGAIN, and started hurling abuse at me for fangirling, not studying and all that. and she wants to complain about my friends for being a bad influence. we study together, and encourage each other to study. how is that a bad influence?

i just wish that my parents would listen to me. i cannot stand it when someone accuses me of doing something i haven't done, like not studying or wasting my time, but whenever i tell my parents that i really did study, they don't believe me. and now i'm supposed to report to my hostel office promptly at six so that my mother, and the entire hostel office will know that i'm back. according to my mother, too bad if i'm stuck in a traffic jam or something.

last year, on my birthday, my mother called me just to tell me that i sucked and was a good-for-nothing, unlike my wonderful sister (she really is wonderful. not sarcasm here. i have a really smart and hardworking sister, although she annoys me greatly, but that's what sisters are for), because i didn't get into the triple science stream. i hid in the toilet crying. i got the message informing me that i got into the tripscience, the next day. and her response? yay! i didn't even get an apology.

i recently signed up for dance classes, because it's my dream to dance. not to be a dancer, but just dance. i got two heaping earfuls of how i should be focusing on my studies instead. the exams just ended then. and my teacher mentor pulled me out halfway through class to lecture me about not being able to go to a concert, which my mum could have just told me herself. not to mention her yelling at me for wanting to go see an awards show that was the day after my birthday, and the day the holidays started. she likes to hurl abuse at me for every small thing. thankgoodness i'm in a different country or it would have been beatings.

and my dad sent me an sms lecturing me about not studying, and ended with- would beast care?-. beast is the kpop group i'm fangirling over, and hello! not the point! what does me studying have to do with beast?! i told them over and over that i don't let fangirling affect my studies! now my roomate is annoyed with me because my mum calls her everytime she can't reach me. which is usually when i'm bathing, sleeping, or my phone is on silent mode. how positively nice.

i'm also kinda disappointed, even though i know it's selfish to think this way, because my birthday was just over, and the other nine scholars, who usually throw surprise parties for the birthday girl(s), ignored my birthday and only a few wished me happy birthday. obviously, it's quite spoilt and obnoxious to demand a cake and presents from other people, but i would be content with a hug and a wish. a hug is the best present i could ever get. of course, my school friends did wish me, so i don't think i should continue to sound spoilt. it's just that having a birthday without candles didn't feel right, so i drew candles in the steamed up mirror and blew them out. it's not the lack of cake or presents that bothered me, but rather the fact that everyone else had rather lavish parties and there was much laughter, while i didn't even get as much as a happy birthday. which made me worry that i had offended them in some way. but honestly, the letters from my school friends did make my day. and month.

i just want my parents to understand and see that i really put in effort for my studies and what i do. why is it that my friends seem to understand me so much more better than my parents? and why is it that other people seem to have such good relationships with their parents while mine is rather toxic? i just want my efforts to be recognised, and for me to be able to do what i love. it's hard enough studying in a foreign country and struggling to keep up, is that too much to ask for?

i'm really sorry for the long rambly rant, but i really feel down right now, so i'm just pushing everything out, and i don't know how to explain everything. apologies.

Last edited by .:Bibliophile:.; November 1st 2010 at 04:34 PM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
blacklilac Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
blacklilac's Avatar
 
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 53
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: May 2nd 2010

Re: a vat of horridness. - November 1st 2010, 11:13 AM

apologies for sounding like a spoilt brat about the birthday thing. been thinking it over, and i think i should be thankful for what i have and not focus on what i don't have. i'm really sorry if i sound like a spoilt obnoxious child. apologies.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
blacklilac Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
blacklilac's Avatar
 
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 53
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: May 2nd 2010

Re: a vat of horridness. - November 1st 2010, 11:22 AM

and oh this is horrible i'm just ranting and ranting and ranting. apologies. i finally managed to charge my phone. my mum promptly called and cursed me to get run over by a car, and exact words, get raped till i split apart or something. just because i blocked her on facebook and refused to unblock her because she was using it to stalk me. and apparently she's going to crumple and burn all my posters, and complain to the ministry of education. my mother is great. fml.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
.:Bibliophile:. Offline
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
.:Bibliophile:.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Just me

Posts: 17,590
Blog Entries: 1863
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: a vat of horridness. - November 1st 2010, 04:25 PM

Hey there,

I am sorry you are feeling so down at the moment but I want you to know that things will pick up. I also want you to know that the way your parents are treating you is not right. You do not deserve to be put down in any way shape or form. I think as long as you are trying your hardest they should be proud of you and support you. If they can't that is their loss.

It can be really hard when our parents cannot or will not be there in the way that we need. But, that does not mean we cannot overcome it. Sometimes we have to realize that our families cannot give us the support and love that we need and we have to look for it from other people. It sounds like you have some friends that really care about you so why not lean on them for support? Let them become your family. Yes, there is always going to be a small part of you that misses the support from your family but if you let it your friends love and support can be enough.

As for your birthday, I don't think you were being the least bit obnoxious and it is okay to feel upset by it. Sometimes people don't recognize certain things in the way that they should or that we want. You saw how others had their birthdays celebrated and a small part of you was hurt when you didn't get the same celebration. It is okay to feel hurt and angry/upset. I am glad you came on here and let it out. That way it isn't trapped inside of you.

I really hope this helped in some way and if you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna


|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Release9 Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Release9's Avatar
 

Posts: 213
Join Date: October 27th 2010

Re: a vat of horridness. - November 2nd 2010, 04:33 AM

You are DEFINITELY NOT being obnoxious...I know, it hurts doesn't it when no one cares about your birthday.
My parents are both so obsessed with my grades...and this is the truth, that they actually yell out my grades to everyone in the house. They never say good job, no its just why did you miss something? They also take my privileges...and its basically my books and my flash drive and my homework...they have some weird idea in their heads that I am so horrible that I shouldn't get anything at all for working so hard.
Next birthday, my parents are not doing anything for me...but enough of my ranting. Here's your birthday song:
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday, dear Blacklilac,
Happy birthday to you!
And here's your birthday cake!
http://www.dimensionsguide.com/wp-co...thday-Cake.jpg
And a birthday present!
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...500_AA300_.jpg
*50 million hugs*

I am really sorry I couldn't throw you a huge party, and I really don't know what you wanted for your birthday, but I hope you like it at least a little bit!
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
blacklilac Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
blacklilac's Avatar
 
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 53
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: May 2nd 2010

Re: a vat of horridness. - November 2nd 2010, 01:08 PM

i have no idea what to say. in risk of sounding insincere, i really do thank both of you very much. you have no idea how much this made me happier. thank you ever so much =)
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Release9 Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Release9's Avatar
 

Posts: 213
Join Date: October 27th 2010

Re: a vat of horridness. - November 2nd 2010, 01:34 PM

Glad I could make your day happier!
Did you like your birthday treats?
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
blacklilac Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
blacklilac's Avatar
 
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 53
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: May 2nd 2010

Re: a vat of horridness. - November 3rd 2010, 01:22 PM

yes yes very much! thank you so much! =)
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Release9 Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Release9's Avatar
 

Posts: 213
Join Date: October 27th 2010

Re: a vat of horridness. - November 4th 2010, 01:41 AM

I REALLY wish I could really get you those presents, but no money
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
blacklilac Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
blacklilac's Avatar
 
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 53
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: May 2nd 2010

Re: a vat of horridness. - November 4th 2010, 03:11 PM

haha it's really okay! birthdays aren't for presents, they're for hugs! and the hugs you gave me will last me a lifetime, and then some. =)

it's not the present that counts, it really is the thought that counts. and the feeling that someone actually cares brings so much more joy than presents can ever bring. given a choice between a really expensive and nice present given by a person who doesn't care, and virtual hugs from someone who really does care, i'd take the hugs any day.

thank you ever so much.
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Release9 Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Release9's Avatar
 

Posts: 213
Join Date: October 27th 2010

Re: a vat of horridness. - November 5th 2010, 12:04 AM

I'm REALLY glad I could make your day so much better. It made my mood happier, too!
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
blacklilac Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
blacklilac's Avatar
 
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 53
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: May 2nd 2010

Re: a vat of horridness. - November 7th 2010, 09:23 AM

glad to hear that! our days both got better after reading this. =)
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
Release9 Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Release9's Avatar
 

Posts: 213
Join Date: October 27th 2010

Re: a vat of horridness. - November 11th 2010, 12:12 AM

I've just had a really good day in terms of school! And it makes me happy that I make people's lives better!
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
horridness, vat

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2020, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.