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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Exclamation All hope is lost - December 6th 2010, 05:49 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I can't do this anymore. I just want to be in so much pain that I die. I just can't be punished enough. All I want to do is cut every inch of my body, break every bone and pull every stand of hair out. I have had enough of this life. I made a suicide pact with my boyfriend, he killed himself two years ago and I didn't do what I promised. I have to die for him. I said I would do it because I didn't want him to be alone in heaven but all I have done is fail him. I just want to die, the guilt is too much. Sorry x
   
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Re: All hope is lost - December 6th 2010, 06:01 PM

wow thats really messes up why cant u live for him
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Re: All hope is lost - December 12th 2010, 09:57 PM

Two years is a long time, and back then you both were very emotionally troubled. For better or worse, you are a different person, and by being older, you have now more control now over your life. You're boyfriend, if he really loves you, and really cares, would not want you to die. He would want you to continue on finding a place in this world, and making the best of it. He would want you to move on, and find someone new, who is good for you and will encourage you.

I can tell you that you have so much to live for in this life. You are just confused and overwhelmed. As for the cutting, well, I suspect with all you have said your motive for the cutting is to either temporarily end a numbness or empty feeling inside you feel consistently, or to gain a sense of control in your life, or simply both.

There are people in this life that care about you, and soon to come, there are people who will need you, and you will make them happy, and they will make you happy. You are only 17 and have an entire life ahead of you with so many good things in store. It's just hard to see right now. Take a step back, and really think things over. Reach out for some help, if you feel comfortable about telling your parents, tell them. IF not, find another adult who you feel comfortable confiding in. If not that then, you as of now have me, and I can assist you in finding happiness in this life as well overcoming any issues with cutting you may have.

We are here for you, and your boyfriend wants you to truly be happy, happy here. I would bet my own life on that.
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Re: All hope is lost - December 14th 2010, 03:35 AM

One of my cousins made a pact with her best friend and when her best friend did it she tried to do it she took a bunch of pills but she survived some how she was declared dead at the hospital but some how she woke up and when she woke up she said she saw her friend and the friend said she saw all the people at her funeral and all the people that cried over her and she didn't want it for my cousin
Long story short she got help and got better
   
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