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hannahrosex3 Offline
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Unhappy I don't want to feel trapped. - December 9th 2010, 02:44 AM

I've been diagosed with clinical depression, OCD, panic disorder, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I'm only 14 years old.

I'm currently taking 6 pills a day because of it. (1 Zoloft substitute, and 2 additional types ; morning and night.)

I started taking these because I got random urges and thoughts that I was going to hurt myself or someone I love. I wanted to hurt myself because I thought it was the only way to prevent myself from hurting others. Nothing hurts more than these thoughts of hurting my mom, my sister, etc.

2 long years later, I was better. Everything was going fine. Anxiety was still there, but very barable. My friend has recently been diagnosed with cancer. (Please don't think I'm being selfish talking about my problems while she is in more trouble than I am, because that whole issue is another big problem alone) My anxiety is back where it used to be. I'm once again afraif of myself, and I feel like I am not in control of my own body and mind. I get panic attacks and chest pains from random bursts of depression. I feel as if I am going to hurt someone, even though I really REALLY do not want to. My mind convinces me otherwise.

I constantly feel like I need to be locked up. I'm afraid I'm losing my mind... I don't want to hurt anyone.. I honestly don't. I also don't want to do harm to myself but I get these urges that are so hard to shake off. I honestly feel like I cannot deal with tough situations without feeling trapped and thinking of suicide, or getting urges as a result. How can I deal with my feelings without thinking in the horrible way?

What do I do? I don't want to start back where I was. (Which was HELL!)

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Re: I don't want to feel trapped. - December 11th 2010, 10:39 PM

Hey there Hannah,

Firstly I want to apologize for it taking so long for you to get a response. I hope everything is okay with you.

I think you need to reach out to someone and let them know what is going on. I know that might be hard to do but if you have support it could do you a lot of good. Let your family know where you are at again and go from there.

Are you currently seeing a therapist or psychiatrist for these issues? If not I suggest you ask your mom if you could go back to them. I know that might be a hard thing to do but it might help you to get some professional help for everything that is going on in your life.

Has anything triggered these feelings? If you can work on figuring out what triggered this 'relapse' you could slowly work on getting to a better place. When a person figures out their triggers they can slowly work on finding the proper coping skills for the issues. One thing that helps me work on figuring out what my triggers are is journaling. It allows me to look at things with a new perspective and I am able to get everything that I am bottling up out. Do you think you could give journaling a try.

Lastly, I assure you you are not losing your mind, you are going through a rough time but you can and will fight your way out of this.

I really hope this helped and if you need anything feel free to pm me.


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Re: I don't want to feel trapped. - December 12th 2010, 07:27 AM

then you can start back in a different place =) positive thoughts can help you in sooo many ways. It helps to try to take everything in a different perspective, and try hard to forget and do different things. remember, you can always start over, and you can overcome everything.

I KNOW it is difficult, but remember, you have so many options and things you could do.. =)

oh, and did you forget that we're always here, cause we always are. tell us anything. at any time.

stay stronggggg

Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

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