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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Harley Quinn Offline
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What do I even want to do with my life? - December 25th 2010, 07:06 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I get it. I get that there's hope. I get that there's a chance for things to get better.
But what is 'better?'
I have no goal in life. I have no look at the future.

I have no goals. Perhaps to get out of this damned (excuse my language, but it is cursed) house and live. But what is living?
I don't want to work in a cubicle.

I want a dog.
I want real friends.
I want to stop the depression.

I don't know if I want to become a writer for a living; but I don't know what I'd do otherwise. I suppose what's troubling me the most is my career choice. I have 2 B+'s, one in Science (which I'm pretty sure I can fix after reading this really super-duper hard book), and one in PE, which is where I lost it. I can't fix that grade.

What is living? What is the point?
We'll all die anyway. What is the point of living if you'll die anyway?
Why not end the pain and suffering now? Keep what you have, and die now?

I'm going through a depression phase, but I know this question daunts me all the time. What is the point?!

I have no goals; that's probably why.
Agh.
I'm going to end this now.


I hope you're having a spectacular day!


You can PM/VM me about anything.
   
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Hiraeth Offline
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Re: What do I even want to do with my life? - December 25th 2010, 10:13 PM

Hey there,

Believe me, there are times when I would have this conversation with myself every day - and never really get anywhere. But once I did 'get out of that darned house' and experienced a concrete sense of freedom for the first time, I realized that the inherent pointlessness of existence wasn't troubling at all - in fact, it is probably the most comforting thing I know.

Life is not a destination, it is not about getting somewhere as much as gaining something through the experience of being alive - life is an opportunity. And each day we stay alive, we interact with the world, and gain insight through it. About what it's like to exist as a human, or just to exist at all. Sure, death will come when death comes; we have an eternity to be dead and only a few fleeting decades to spend in this life - there is no rush at all. If everything is pointless, and all choices are pointless, then the choice to die before one's natural time is up is also pointless.

Personally, I do not hold expectations in life in the way that most people do. I have an overall map of where I see myself in realistic terms, but most of the time it feels like a placeholder to guide specific choices rather than a goal that I attach my heart and soul to. I'm not convinced that anything I do will make me fulfilled or happy, but that's okay, because I don't seek fulfillment in my life journey - I seek opportunity to learn, to experience, and always keep an open mind. So long as I do not betray my spirit and lose sight of my principles, then that is 'living' and 'better' enough for me.

No one can give you the answers - we must each find it for ourselves, and develop an understanding of our existence in a way that makes sense to us individually. It may seem scary at first - but it is part of what makes life interesting, once you are better prepared to take on all its challenges.

I'm around if you ever want someone to talk to.

Take care for now, and Merry Christmas!
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Blair Offline
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Re: What do I even want to do with my life? - December 26th 2010, 04:00 PM

The point of living is that we do all die. This life us your opportunity to find what it is you love to do and try to make an impact on the world by doing it. You have no idea what effect you have on the world right now just by being who you are. You definately have no idea how your life will change the world. You could grow up to be an amazing writer and inspire a generation. Or inspire just one person who will do something great with that inspiration. The opportunities you have every day to be kind to people and make their world just that much less abrasive and harsh are not ones to pass up. The opportunities you have to discover your passions are awesome. You're still in school. You don't have to know everything you want to do. You just have to be willing to try things and get to know yourself to find that out.


Just Keep Breathing
   
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Harley Quinn Offline
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Re: What do I even want to do with my life? - December 27th 2010, 01:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaisada View Post
Hey there,

Believe me, there are times when I would have this conversation with myself every day - and never really get anywhere. But once I did 'get out of that darned house' and experienced a concrete sense of freedom for the first time, I realized that the inherent pointlessness of existence wasn't troubling at all - in fact, it is probably the most comforting thing I know.

Life is not a destination, it is not about getting somewhere as much as gaining something through the experience of being alive - life is an opportunity. And each day we stay alive, we interact with the world, and gain insight through it. About what it's like to exist as a human, or just to exist at all. Sure, death will come when death comes; we have an eternity to be dead and only a few fleeting decades to spend in this life - there is no rush at all. If everything is pointless, and all choices are pointless, then the choice to die before one's natural time is up is also pointless.

Personally, I do not hold expectations in life in the way that most people do. I have an overall map of where I see myself in realistic terms, but most of the time it feels like a placeholder to guide specific choices rather than a goal that I attach my heart and soul to. I'm not convinced that anything I do will make me fulfilled or happy, but that's okay, because I don't seek fulfillment in my life journey - I seek opportunity to learn, to experience, and always keep an open mind. So long as I do not betray my spirit and lose sight of my principles, then that is 'living' and 'better' enough for me.

No one can give you the answers - we must each find it for ourselves, and develop an understanding of our existence in a way that makes sense to us individually. It may seem scary at first - but it is part of what makes life interesting, once you are better prepared to take on all its challenges.

I'm around if you ever want someone to talk to.

Take care for now, and Merry Christmas!
Thank you. This along with a couple of other responses really did help. I think I understand now, but in a way that is impossible to put into words, though I feel if I do not put it into words, I may forget it.
This still doesn't help with the dilemmas in life, or why the ... freak I am trying so hard for certain things, and why I should.
But, it helps. It helps. It's my step to knowing what I want in life, what that accomplishment or opportunity is.


I hope you're having a spectacular day!


You can PM/VM me about anything.
   
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