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-   -   it's not why you think (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f11-depression-suicide/t68813-its-not-why-you-think/)

Pour the Teapot March 7th 2011 11:45 PM

it's not why you think
why is everyone so convinced that the only reason someone would be suicidal is because they hate themselves? i do NOT hate myself. I am an amazing, beautiful, strong, perfect person. why does no one else see that? honestly i dont understand why everyones against me loving myself. whats so wrong with being honest and not doubting who i am?

mom, when you read this, you can just fucking piss off. youve done nothing good for me, TeenHelp has done far more for me than you ever have. you are just like Beba, you dont consider what i want or need, only what you want me to want or need. Im sick of living with so much hate. every day i wonder what it would be like to finally be with god.

and thats not my fault! for once, look inside YOURself for the answers, dont try to lay the blame on me. I am NOT the problem here! Its because of YOU that i have lost hope for my life. i will never believe otherwise.

so whenever i do go to summerland, be it now or later, you can just know that i have always loved and accepted myself, even when you never did.

kitkat_kate March 8th 2011 01:55 AM

Re: it's not why you think
Hey, there, Alice. I just want to start by saying that I'm glad you love yourself! Being confident is something a lot of teens do struggle with on a regular basis, and it's often assumed someone who wants to end their life is uncomfortable in their own skin.

Since you are not, let me ask you: Why are you so intent on committing suicide? If you even are. You say you wonder what it would be like to be with God. While that's something a lot of Christians, myself included, wonder and think about, God wants to meet you on His time, not yours. You don't get to make that decision in his eyes. He has a plan, whether you know it or not.

If these people are causing you pain, I urge you to reach out to a counselor. I'm glad to hear that TH has helped you, and I hope you keep turning to this community. None of us want to see anything bad happen to you, Alice. And your mom and family don't either. They are trying to help, but sometimes these feelings are too deep and raw for them to even start to understand.

If you need anything, please don't hesitate to PM me. I'm glad to listen and help wherever I can.

Remember that you're strong, but you already know that! Keep your chin up, Lady!

Veni Vidi Vici March 8th 2011 05:23 AM

Re: it's not why you think
Hey there, I totally agree with you on the first part..

However, suicide is not the option. All it will do is cause even more hurt. You're taking the easy way out... Wait it out and you'll see it's all going to get better. It's a way of life, things have to get better; you just have to be there to see it happen.

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