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czekk Offline
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seriously need help. tried to turn my life around and its worse. - May 13th 2011, 11:36 PM

i dont know how to really start this and im sorry if its in the wrong section. im 15 and up until about a month ago i was gang affiliated, a drug dealer and on alot of drugs. i smoked atleast 4 grams of weed a day. before school and everything. and my weekends were a blur of dmt/acid/salvia/weed. i never did anything too hardcore. but one day i went to school high. my teacher noticed and had the cops search me. i got caught with 4 xanax and about $200. i got expelled from all of the schools in my county. on the second week of being expelled i decided the life i lead is fun now but i dont want it for my entire life.

im not going to lie i still smoke weed pretty much everyday but not like i was. but the real problem is now that ive gotten out of all that i was into. ive still got tons of enemies. and now that all the people that were protecting me know im trying to go straight there not protecting me anymore. so im pretty much surrounded by 4 cities where 3/4 of the surrounding cities want me dead. and its pushing me into deep anxiety/paranoia. like im afraid to walk out to my moms car and bring the groceries for her without a weapon. im afraid if i keep things like they are im either going to go back to where i was or go insane.
   
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Re: seriously need help. tried to turn my life around and its worse. - May 14th 2011, 01:19 PM

First of all it is very good that you are trying to turn your life around and I agree, with these kinds of circumstances it can be very difficult, that is the sad thing about this type of stuff. Do you have family or friends that understand what you are trying to do who are supporting you in this? I think if possible you should talk to them about a fresh start in another location if able. Also don't forget, the police are your friend, if you feel you are in danger.
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Re: seriously need help. tried to turn my life around and its worse. - May 15th 2011, 06:26 AM

no i dont really have anyone supporting me. my mom thinks i just smoked weed. i cant bring myself to tell her all of it. i know she would either kick me out or move and i dont want her selling her house and relocating because of my mistakes. the plan so far is to try to stay with some family that lives about 5 hours away for the summer.. and i really doubt the cops would help me. they had known exactly what was happening. they would question me and i would just ignore them or give really offensive and smart replies. the cop at my school was actually smiling after he found the xanax and money.

Last edited by czekk; May 15th 2011 at 07:23 AM.
   
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