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freind57 Offline
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Exclamation Love - May 26th 2011, 01:29 AM

I have just been in the worst depression ive ever felt in my life since february . I just realized around that time how much of a pathetic loser i am in school . I had been one of the type of kids in class that just sat there , half-assed the work and went home right after school , played video games watched tv , computer , and i had been like that for just a year and a half and i was just fe up with it . So ive been trying to turn my lifestyle around and ive been somewhat successful . But why i changed in february was cause of valentines day and i just felt so lonely not in love or even trying to fall in love with anyone . And ever since then ive kinda just been reminiscing about my past and falling deeper and deeper into this depression . Ive been thinking about this girl i used to realy like , she was just like almost perfect for me , both of us were pretty funny , flamboyant , we liked just having alot of fun . And i also thought she was realy pretty , like top of the list pretty . And i had kinda known her a little but i made the mistake of asking her out to a dance even though we didnt realy have a strong freindship(this was like 4 years ago in middle school , we go to diffrent high schools now) , and then our relationship just fell kinda into an awkward death cause i had no experience in dating at all . And so ive just been thinking about what i should have done and at the same time wishing i could still . I cant get her out of my head . That was kinda the last time i ever even felt a tiny bit close to love because she agreed to go with me . Even though we went on a date for a day and that was it . Ive seen her occasionally . Then the other night i had a dream about her ! so ive just felt terribly depressed . Even more then that I just feel terrible cause i go to a horrible high school filled with idiots that im now 2 years into so i realize theres no point in switching . So ive just been blaming myself for this whole thing . I wish i had someone to blame instead of myself . Everytime i try to forget about her i cant and i get the feeling i dont want to . Please help !!!

Last edited by freind57; May 26th 2011 at 01:35 AM.
   
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