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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Lovehatelife23 Offline
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Name: Leslie
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Unhappy DownHill for Good! - May 26th 2011, 06:40 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I try to be happy. I try to make my parents happy. I try to do my best. But all i do is Make everyones Lifes Misserable. When u have parents tat just cant take care of u anymore bc u are so hard to deal with. I told my dad tat if u knew tat when i turned this age n i just made ur life misserable then u should of never Adopted me. It just never seems to make sence anymore. Last month i was in hardship bc i was being suicidal n almost Lost my life (wich i regret). but i try So hard to be the best daughter or watever for my parents n its like Im not worth nothing to them. Yestorday i was Crying n today i was crying. I feel like im losing it. I wanted to commit suicide again n not tell anyone n when someone found me n i was dead i didnt care. Im going to Hell anyways soo it doesnt matter anymore. I Hate my Life. I hate my Parents. I Hate myself. Im just done living like this n suffering to long n puttin them through something tat its NOT my fault. I just want to end my Life n let it be over with. Nobody would miss me. Nobody would notice if i was gone. Nobody would care. Everyone would move on without me n not even worry or cry bc their daughter killed herself. I GIVE UP on LIFE! To much Stress! To much Wrongs! GOODBYE!


R.I.P
CJ Collins 1993-2008
He was a Awesome Kid
I Love you n Miss you


You learn at a certain pace. Then that pace goes away. Then

you try and try to do everything you can. Then it gets harder.

Then you give up. Then its all over.

Leslie
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Marguerite Offline
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Re: DownHill for Good! - June 4th 2011, 09:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehatelife23 View Post
I try to be happy. I try to make my parents happy. I try to do my best. But all i do is Make everyones Lifes Misserable. When u have parents tat just cant take care of u anymore bc u are so hard to deal with. I told my dad tat if u knew tat when i turned this age n i just made ur life misserable then u should of never Adopted me. It just never seems to make sence anymore. Last month i was in hardship bc i was being suicidal n almost Lost my life (wich i regret). but i try So hard to be the best daughter or watever for my parents n its like Im not worth nothing to them. Yestorday i was Crying n today i was crying. I feel like im losing it. I wanted to commit suicide again n not tell anyone n when someone found me n i was dead i didnt care. Im going to Hell anyways soo it doesnt matter anymore. I Hate my Life. I hate my Parents. I Hate myself. Im just done living like this n suffering to long n puttin them through something tat its NOT my fault. I just want to end my Life n let it be over with. Nobody would miss me. Nobody would notice if i was gone. Nobody would care. Everyone would move on without me n not even worry or cry bc their daughter killed herself. I GIVE UP on LIFE! To much Stress! To much Wrongs! GOODBYE!
Hey Leslie. First off, I'm sorry it took so long for someone to reply

I have to say I felt like I was in the same position a little while ago. I just wanted to yell at my mum, 'I'm sorry that me wanting to die has become such an inconvenience to you!'. I was a handful, sure, but I was the one going through all this and SHE had the audacity to act like it was hard on her!

As I got out of that though, as I started to come out of the depression, I realised that it must have been really hard on her seeing her child go through that and not being able to do anything to help. She would try and find some way to help and I would get really angry with her. Then we would fight and fight. But I get it a little more now and I think in time you will too.

Your parents don't hate you, I'm sure. They're probably just frustrated by the whole situation. You're all too close to see things objectively. Life changes so fast Leslie... I know that if you grab onto it with both hands you can find hapiness somewhere. If you were gone, your parents would realise their mistakes too late, and what a tragedy that would be. You've held on this long, that tells me you're strong. I know you can keep going. You deserve life.


To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget

~Arundhati Roy
   
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Re: DownHill for Good! - June 6th 2011, 10:32 AM

First, one of the biggest misconceptions people that want to commit suicide think is that no one would care if they died. They would. Trust me, people would care. Your parents would be devastated. People you don't even know would be affected by it.

That being said, you should get professional help. You have to try your hardest if you're going to get out of this, and that can mean getting help outside family and friends. You have to WANT to be happy, and that means you have to be willing to do whatever it takes (within reason, nothing illegal) to get there.

I have to go right now but I'll try to remember to come back and finish what I was going to say.



"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
   
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