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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 03:02 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Read my other thread before you read this. It explains my problems so far. It's under self harm, called, "I need help with a couple of problems".

Once you've read it, then here it is. I'm done. I'm ending it. Tonight.

Once my parents let me out of my room I mostly kept to myself. Then, I overheard them on the phone. They were calling a foster care program, asking about giving up a child. That could only mean yours truly. I have no siblings. I didn't really say anything about it. At school today, a group of ten to twelve kids grabbed me and started harassing me. They called me a freak, among other worse things I don't care to write. Then they started actually hurting me. They held me down and beat me up. When I told the principal, he did nothing!

I called the police and told them everything and they said it doesn't classify as an emergency, and didn't help. So I'm done. No one wants me anyways, so I might as well just get rid of myself for them. I hate this and I hate everyone, myself including. No one cares about me, no one likes me, no one needs me. [Edited By Jazz Guy] I feel like no one ever cared in the first place.

I'm sorry

Last edited by Loving Linux Penguin; June 23rd 2011 at 11:31 PM. Reason: Making
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 03:18 AM

Anna sweetie, I am so so sorry thing have been so rough. You certainly don't deserve it. It sounds to me like maybe going to a foster home would be better, since your parents are being jerks about everything. The kids at school and the principle, I don't even know what to say. Your principle should have done something, and I just can't understand why he didn't.
When you contacted the police, was it on an emergency line (such as 911?) that may be why they said what they did about it not classifying as an emergency, but I don't understand why they wouldn't do anything.

Sweetheart, I know you think no one cares, that no one will miss you, but people will. I'll miss you. Please don't let them get the best of you


♪♫"The mirror only shows
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It's time for letting go
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And now you know
Now you know"♪♫
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Things get better.
Always keep fighting.
❤Feel free to PM/VM, or add me if you ever need a friend, or someone to talk to. I'm online quite often.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 03:29 AM


Please, please, please don't... Please! People here care about you infinitely. We care about you so much! I care about you! Please, will you talk to me? I want to help you. You don't deserve to die, Anna. Please, keep your life. I love you, I care about you, I don't want you to kill yourself.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 03:40 AM

Please don't do this Anna. I know I've never talked to you before but I do care.

The people bullying you are assholes, and you don't deserve it. Instead of calling the police, maybe you could call a hotline or talk to someone who could help you out.

You don't deserve to feel like this, and I know you feel as if you don't have an escape but please don't do it.
PM if you want to talk.


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 03:40 AM

No, I didn't call 911, I called the non-emergency line and they still did nothing. It seems as if people on here are the only ones who care. And I'm scared. I've never wanted to die until now. What those kids said... Some things they said include something along the lines of, "You're such a reject, why are you even still alive? No one wants you alive, so why don't you just kill yourself and save us the trouble of doing it. I swear, if you show up at school tomorrow, you're dead." Then one guy pulled out a knife to emphasize it and held the knife to my throat. They all laughed. I can't stand it anymore!!
   
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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 03:44 AM

I doubt these kids would actually try to do something like that to you on school grounds. Furthermore, they were lying. They said no one wants you alive- that is not true.

We want you alive, Anna. We will always want you alive. Please... don't do this.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 03:45 AM

If these people are threatening to hurt you, then it is an emergency and you should get help. I want you alive Anna and I hope you do not go through with this.


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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 03:46 AM

Sweetie I am so so sorry. If I could I would whisk you away from all that horribleness, you deserve much better.
I still can't understand why your principle did nothing, did you mention the knife too? I just can't even comprehend...as Alexa said, maybe you should call a hotline to talk some of these things out with someone. They're better equipped then anyone on here even to handle this kind of situation, plus they should be able to offer advice on steps to take to initiate change. I'm afraid I don't know what else to tell you if the principle did nothing despite the fact you were threatened...did you tell the police that the boy at school threatened you? Did you ever get to talk to that teacher again, that offers to help you?

Please sweetie, we all love and care about you<3


♪♫"The mirror only shows
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You can't go on suffering
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It's time for letting go
You can't go on suffering
And now you know
Now you know"♪♫
'Now You Know' - 2Cents
Things get better.
Always keep fighting.
❤Feel free to PM/VM, or add me if you ever need a friend, or someone to talk to. I'm online quite often.
Add me on FB <--- apparently this is my creeper face.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 03:59 AM

No, I didn't tell the principal about the knife, because the boy is in my class and will notice... I'm scared . This is literally scaring me to death, as I said. I've never actually been terrified before. I mean, receiving death threats? When I told the police they said the boy would never do anything that extreme and was probably just bluffing to scare me. Aren't police supposed to help? And the principal, he's supposed to do something too, isn't he? The teacher I told before was, just my luck, away today, so I couldn't tell her.

Thanks you guys for being there for me. You've at least made me stop and think for a second about this.
   
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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 04:06 AM

Sweetie, if you tell the principle about the knife it won't matter that he's in your class. Having weapons on school property is a serious matter. And he shouldn't get treated lightly for it (likely suspension if not expelled for it). Your principle should take matters into his hands to ensure your safety on school property, you just have to make him aware of what's going on. If he ignores it, if will be bad light on him. I know you're scared. I don't understand why the police would do nothing...I know around here they take threats seriously since you never know what someone will do, I figured it was the same alll over. Is there any chance you could seek out that teacher first thing tomorrow, before classes? It won't matter if you're late to your first class if you tell her what happened and see about her going to the principle with you.

We really do care sweetie, and I don't want to see this happen to you


♪♫"The mirror only shows
The shell of what's below
You can't go on suffering
The illusion of control
It's time for letting go
You can't go on suffering
And now you know
Now you know"♪♫
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Things get better.
Always keep fighting.
❤Feel free to PM/VM, or add me if you ever need a friend, or someone to talk to. I'm online quite often.
Add me on FB <--- apparently this is my creeper face.
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 04:11 AM

This is freaking ridiculous that a principal or police will not help you in this situation. I'm sorry your principal is an dumbass. Also, you could go down to the police station and file a police report with the threat because it is a serious threat and I would do that since you are scared of these people. I hope they do not do anything to you because you do not deserve it.


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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 04:43 AM

Please don't do anything to hurt yourself. You do have people that care and are willing to help. Your life is precious so don't ever listen to someone that says otherwise.

Do you have a relative in a different area you could go live with?

These people aren't worth your time, show them how much better and amazing you are than them. Look towards the future, everything gets better at some point so don't ever let them get you down. You have so much life waiting for you. Please, don't give up.
   
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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 09:39 PM

Hi guys. I'm sorry, but I'm done. When I got to school today I was going to go tell the principal about the knife when that same boy saw me... He was with a couple of his friends. Seems he meant to carry through with his threat. It was at least half an hour before school so they had plenty of time. They grabbed me and started pulling me away, off of school grounds. I thought for sure no one saw, but apparently someone did. I wish she hadn't, though. It was Alexis. She saw what they were doing and followed us. They took me to a back alley a couple blocks away from the school and held me down again. The boy pulled out the knife and said, "I told you if you showed up today you were dead. This should be fun." He put the knife to my throat and I was sure I was done for when Alexis came up behind the boy and stopped him from slitting my throat. Instead, his friends grabbed Alexis and held her down and he... I just can't believe it!!! Those fucking jerks slit her throat!!! I didn't see if she's alright but I doubt it. I'm just done!!! They would've gotten me too but I ran. I was going towards the school but I saw some of his friends waiting there for me. So I ran home.

I forgot my key so I broke a window to get in because my parents weren't home. My timing couldn't have been worse. My dad decided to come back home at that exact moment and saw the broken window and started yelling at me. He hit me again, more than once. I didn't even get a chance to tell him what had happened. He locked me in my room again with no phone. My room is on the second story, and I can't jump out to get help because there's a ditch under my window. It's in a way that if I jump, I'd either get stuck, break something, or just die. I know from experience. I've tried to jump out of my window before and I broke my leg and wrist.

I just don't know what to do. I've been in my room crying to myself since. I've tried to get my dad's attention but he ignored me and then he left again for work. I've tried everything to get out but I'm stuck. There's nothing I can do until someone gets home, but what help would they be? They've never helped before. I need to call 911, because now this is DEFINITELY an emergency. But I can't. I'm stuck here until someone comes to let me out. What do I do...? I'm this close to jumping out my window anyways and ending it.
   
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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 11:25 PM

Do you not have your phone with you?


♪♫"The mirror only shows
The shell of what's below
You can't go on suffering
The illusion of control
It's time for letting go
You can't go on suffering
And now you know
Now you know"♪♫
'Now You Know' - 2Cents
Things get better.
Always keep fighting.
❤Feel free to PM/VM, or add me if you ever need a friend, or someone to talk to. I'm online quite often.
Add me on FB <--- apparently this is my creeper face.
   
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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 23rd 2011, 11:45 PM

Hey there. I am very sorry about your friend. That shouldn't have happened to her, and they shouldn't have EVER even had a weapon in their possession. Do you have any way to contact somebody?? Anything? Can you yell to a neighbor out the window and communicate somehow? You need to get help. At the very least, you need to get in contact with a hotline or the police. And maybe I missed something, so sorry if I did, but why in the world would your dad lock you in your room? Is he abusive? That's something that shouldn't ever happen...


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last updated on 11/11/17
   
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Re: THAT IS IT!!!!! - June 25th 2011, 06:12 PM

Kay, I'm done now. Sorry guys, but nothing you say will change my mind. This is the last time I'll post before I do it.

I didn't think my dad would ever go farther than hitting me but then I found out he's not even my real dad. My mom apparently got drunk at some party and I was just an accident. They never wanted me in the first place. My dad, I mean, fake dad, raped me. He doesn't care. When he did that my mom kind of tried to stop him but eventually backed off. The haven't let me out of my room, not for anything. They're bringing me food and water, but that's it. I still have no phone cause they took it.

Last time my mom came in she told me that I'm being taken to live with my psycho aunt in Ohio. I hate her almost as much as I hate them. I can't live with her because she's actually insane and I can't take it. So I'm done. There's no alternative for me now. Thanks you guys for being so supportive about everything but this is it for me. As soon as I log off I'm ending it once and for all. I'm supposed to be leaving for my aunt's tomorrow morning, so I'll have time. My mom or dad won't come in to bring me anything for another few hours, so they won't notice until it's too late.

Thank you. I love all of you guys who have bothered to read about my problems. I'm sorry :]
   
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