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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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i want to kill myself. - July 4th 2011, 06:10 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i want to kill myself. i know what people will say "oh you have so much to live for blah blah blah" but thats not what i'm here to hear. i want to kill myself. i'm typing my letters right now. i want to overdose on something. god knows what. i want to kill myself, and leave only memories behind. I want to give away my most prized possessions first, and then do it one night when i'm alone. it might hit some people hard, but they'll live.

but thats not what i have to say!
i don't want anyone else to do this. so please please PLEASE comment on here if you've had suicidal thoughts. tell me your story. i promise you i will not judge. i will help you to the most of my ability. it's too late to change my mind. the last straw has come and gone. but it might not be for you. please let me help. please comment.


had a dream, i was king. woke up, still king(: - eminem


you put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray. i stood there loving you and wished them all away. and you come away with a great little story of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you- taylor swift

i dont know what i want, so don't ask me- taylor swift.



maybe there's beauty in goodbye. theres just no reasons left to try. you push me away. another black day. let's count up the reasons to cry.

Last edited by Loving Linux Penguin; July 10th 2011 at 07:30 PM. Reason: making into constructive post asking for advice
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 4th 2011, 06:30 PM

Look, I don't know you and you don't know me, and I know you say no one can change your mind, but please, stop and think. I mean really think.
You say "it might hit some people hard, but they'll live".
Let me tell you something, my best friend killed herself almost 10 months ago. Sure, I'm still here. But it's a struggle just to force myself to keep going each day. It takes every ounce of willpower I have to not do something incredibly stupid. And some days, even that willpower isnt strong enough. And I know you think "oh, they'll be better with time, it doesn't matter" but you're wrong. 10 months and counting, and everythings just gotten more and more difficult. I know it's not the case for everyone, but I bet you there's someone in your life who'll feel like I do if you kill yourself, especially if they're already fighting depression, regardless if you're aware of it or not. A best friend, another friend, a parent, a grandparent, a relative, hell, maybe someone you don't know that has a crush on you.
I know what you're going through. I really do. I dont know what's brought the feeling on, but I relate to the feelin of there being no other way out. I have days were I feel the same way, where I plan everything out, all of that. But please, please don't do this. I know it seems like things can't get better now, but you can't give up hope that they can. You need to hold on to that, use it to keep you going.
I know you can do this.
Please PM/VM/Add me anytime. I don't want you to do this to yourself. I care.
Nikki


♪♫"The mirror only shows
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You can't go on suffering
The illusion of control
It's time for letting go
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And now you know
Now you know"♪♫
'Now You Know' - 2Cents
Things get better.
Always keep fighting.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 4th 2011, 06:41 PM

i'm really sorry for what you're going through. but my friends... they all have someone else. i've been planning, this, and pretty smart about doing so. i've made sure all my friends have someone else to lean on. someone else to care about. sure, one or two people might cry, but they will NEVER have to deal with what you're going through.


had a dream, i was king. woke up, still king(: - eminem


you put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray. i stood there loving you and wished them all away. and you come away with a great little story of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you- taylor swift

i dont know what i want, so don't ask me- taylor swift.



maybe there's beauty in goodbye. theres just no reasons left to try. you push me away. another black day. let's count up the reasons to cry.
   
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 4th 2011, 06:47 PM

Well you wanted to hear other people's stories, so here's mine....

When I was 14 I overdosed on [Edited By Jazz Guy] pain relievers. Nothing happened to me from it, just a brief stay in a psych ward.
When I was 16 I tried it again. Same thing. Nothing happened to me physically, but I again had to visit a psych ward. However, when I was in this place I was able to actually talk to someone who I felt comfortable with. He was a counselor and I was able to tell him my biggest secret, the reason for me wanting to die. I was such a relief for me to be able to be honest with someone about what was going on, and it helped me a lot.
Now, I'll be 20 this month and I'm still here.Yes I still have to deal with depression and still have to deal with random suicidal thoughts, but I've learned from my experiences. Being put in those psych wards taught me so much. I learned how to communicate with people about my feelings and many other things.
Probably this biggest thing I learned though, was that when I did try to kill myself, I wasn't thinking about anybody but myself. Now, I realize that if I had gone through with it, it would have affected so many people in negative ways. My family means the world to me, and they are what keeps me here. I wouldn't do anything to hurt them, especially something like ending my life.

Sorry if I was rambling on, but that's pretty much my story, or parts of it anyway. I told you in hopes that maybe you can find someone you trust to talk to about your feelings, and find a way out of feeling the way you are. And also to show you that I had bad times, but I survived them and am doing great now. I hope the same thing happens for you.

I am here if you ever want to talk. Feel free to PM me anytime.

Last edited by Loving Linux Penguin; July 10th 2011 at 07:35 PM. Reason: Please do not post dosages
   
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 4th 2011, 06:48 PM

That's the thing though. Sometimes the people who you think will support you, can't take it. That leads to them bailing out on you and you feeling even more alone when you need someone.
People are unpredictable in reactions to death. Even if you think you have every last detail planned out, that does not mean it will work out in any way close to what you intended.
And just because they "have someone else to care about" doesn't make it any easier. I think my best friend chose to do it when she did in partial to the fact I have another friend whose mom got murdered about two weeks before my best friend did it. She probably thought I'd have that friend there for support, that I'd be able to help her and her help me.
I can't say for sure she thought that, but if she did she was wrong. I've had to support myself, that friend, and put up with everyone else who feels they've "been affected" by my best friend's death.
Nothing, I repeat, nothing, makes something like that any easier.


♪♫"The mirror only shows
The shell of what's below
You can't go on suffering
The illusion of control
It's time for letting go
You can't go on suffering
And now you know
Now you know"♪♫
'Now You Know' - 2Cents
Things get better.
Always keep fighting.
❤Feel free to PM/VM, or add me if you ever need a friend, or someone to talk to. I'm online quite often.
Add me on FB <--- apparently this is my creeper face.
   
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 4th 2011, 08:10 PM

I don't mean to be rude, but I think you need a wakeup call.

You are being so freaking arrogant and selfish. "They'll get over it" is such a immature and childish way to look at it. I know that people care but right now you don't see it. One day you might be someone's only chance at survival, maybe you're meant to have kids. What right do you have to take away your future children's mother, or someone's savior. You might be a doctor and cure cancer, what right do you have to take that away?

If you kill yourself, so much would be lost. You can't be so selfish as to kill yourself and deprive the world of you're acomplishments you will someday acomplish. Do not do this. 70% of teens who comit suicide and fail are glad they failed. You are not special, you are not different. You are not some freak. You are worth just as much as any other person. Chances are you are the 70%, so please think this through.

- Justin

- Justin



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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 4th 2011, 08:22 PM

really?! then WHO cares about me!? who? and they will get over it! in fact, i'm sure they wouldn't care in the first place. and who the hell says that i'm supposed to cure cancer? who says i'm supposed to have kids?! and your age says 13, so no offense but what the fuck would you know? i don't have one thing to live for, and you don't know anything about me! sure, maybe 70% of teens are glad they failed. i have 2 things to say to that. 1: i've beat the odds before. im fucking bipolar for christ's sake, and thats not something people my age can usually say! and 2: i won't fail. i would never be able to fail at my own suicide.


had a dream, i was king. woke up, still king(: - eminem


you put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray. i stood there loving you and wished them all away. and you come away with a great little story of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you- taylor swift

i dont know what i want, so don't ask me- taylor swift.



maybe there's beauty in goodbye. theres just no reasons left to try. you push me away. another black day. let's count up the reasons to cry.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 4th 2011, 08:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JKmadu619 View Post
One day you might be someone's only chance at survival, maybe you're meant to have kids. What right do you have to take away your future children's mother, or someone's savior. You might be a doctor and cure cancer, what right do you have to take that away?
and i have EVERY right to take it away! it's absolutely mine to take!


had a dream, i was king. woke up, still king(: - eminem


you put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray. i stood there loving you and wished them all away. and you come away with a great little story of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you- taylor swift

i dont know what i want, so don't ask me- taylor swift.



maybe there's beauty in goodbye. theres just no reasons left to try. you push me away. another black day. let's count up the reasons to cry.
   
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 4th 2011, 08:35 PM

Your life is not yours to take. Believe it was given to you by fate, God, or even your mother. You did not create your own life, it's not right for you to steal it. Nothing lasts forever. Pain, Sadness, even Happiness. It all fades with time. It's greedy to want to hurt others by killing yourself. I'm not saying you are supposed to cure cancer, but Albert Einstien was considered stupid and beyond teaching by his teachers. He ended up becoming very, very famous for being intelligent. You think he didn't want to give in? You could very easily save someone's life, and be their only hope.

Sure you've beat the odds before, but that just makes the chances of you actually being happy you killed yourself lower. If there is a 1:1000 chance of you having bipolar and a 30:70 chance you get a 300:7000 chance of suicide being correct. For every odd you beat it just proves my point.

Bipolar must be hard, but a proverb once said "Look around you. Someone is fighting a harder battle" it can always get worse.

And I understand you think youe suicide attempt won't fail, but nothing is fool proof. Soldiers step on landmines and live. 50 Cent was shot seven times and he lived. Nothing is promised.

Andyou asked what do I know. Well quite alot. My mum is (Well within the last week things have been better, so hopefully "was") mentally and verbally abusive. She swears and yells and tells me nothing I do is good enough. Heck, she would sometimes hit me, never hard, it was more for emotional bang. She would curse at me and tell me she wishes she aborted me. She left me at age 3 and 4 getting ready for kindergarten on my own. I had to use the stove alone by age eight. By age ten I started nursing the idea of suicide. I almost tried it. I had the pills counted out one summer when I was ten. I backed out and I can't really say I regret it. I've been there, done that. Two months ago I was again nursing the idea of suicide. Now I feel better about myself and accepted my family, at least for now. I've came through alot, and I know you can too. I am not being condesending, but I am sure as hell not speaking up to your. I am not talking out of my head. This is experience.

A wise friend whom I hold dearly to my heart once said "At the end of every storm there is a rainbow"

Do not take your own life. Statistically it's impossible that it will make you and everyone around you happy.

- Justin



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Last edited by NevermindMe; July 4th 2011 at 08:41 PM.
   
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 4th 2011, 08:43 PM

yeah. i'm sure someone is fighting a harder battle. and its completely their choice if they want to keep fighting it or not. and for me, yeah everything fades in time. but i just keep circling back to this. and i'm sick of it. somehow my happiness lasts a lot shorter of a time than everything else. and i'm not albert enstien. in fact, im nothing like him. i'm not going to move on and save someones life. thats not me. oh. and back to the first part. about my life not being mine to take? well it is mine to take. my mother. she's DEAD. that's right. dead! and she has been for three years! my dad, he took off round the time she died.! and so now my sister and i live with our aunt, and she hardly ever looks my way. its my life to take. and not yours to judge.


had a dream, i was king. woke up, still king(: - eminem


you put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray. i stood there loving you and wished them all away. and you come away with a great little story of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you- taylor swift

i dont know what i want, so don't ask me- taylor swift.



maybe there's beauty in goodbye. theres just no reasons left to try. you push me away. another black day. let's count up the reasons to cry.
   
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 4th 2011, 08:55 PM

bipolar: It's irrelevant that she is dead. She still gave you life, and it would dishonor her memory to kill yourself.
I'm not judging you, but it isn't your to take. For starters it's against the law to comit suicide, which although it's dumb it proves that suicide is wrong. It's not the thing to do.

I get that people are fighting, and that you feel it's their choice, but the idea of it is that it can get worse, so make it better.

As I said before, you feel happiness lasts longer for others, but you must create joy. I know it's hard, that's why depression is hard to deal with, but you must make an effort to be happy. I don't know why you feel like this, but it will change. You say you keep circling back to depression, but you're 16. You and I have barely seen the world. It might take years, but it will get better.

You said you aren't Einstien, neither am I in case you didn't notice. :P
I honestly meant that anyone can make a difference, no matter what anyone says, and no matter how stupid, or ugly, or terrible they are. No matter what you believe about yourself, you can make a difference. Be it fighting a war, saving lives, or even making people laugh. Every job and every word makes a difference. You can change lives, but you need to give yourself a chance.

I'm not here to mock you, nor to judge you. But I'm speaking from fact, suicide isn't the answer.; It's not a failsafe, it's not a "Get out of jail free card" it isn't hitting "UNO" it's not positive in any way. It is not the answer and it won't make anything better. If you die your life won't get better, because you will be dead and rotting in the ground. Suicide won't make things better, by killing yourself things won't automatically be cured. It will only cause pain for those you love. It is an act of selfishness. If you die, who will your sister have? You said you aren't fondof your aunt, your mum is dead and your dad is gone. If you kill yourself chances our your sweet innocent little sister will follow suit eventually. Don't rip your sister off. Don't cheat her out of her big sister who she looks up to, don't cheat her out of a family.

- Justin



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Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 4th 2011, 10:34 PM

Darcy.. I know that you don't want to hear anyone tell you not to do it since you've made up your mind, but if you are 16 then that means you only have two years until you're 18 and you can escape in another way. There's a lot more to life than what you have experienced.

I don't think it's fair for you to leave your sister behind. You think that no one will get over it but your death could affect more people than you think of. Life isn't something to waste, it can be hard sometimes but please, don't think that this is the only thing you can do.

I'm sure that living with being bipolar has been a struggle for you. I can't relate to that, but I do have anxiety, at times I can't even speak because of it, I know what it's like to feel like something else is controlling you. You can make it through this though, whatever is happening it WILL get better.

I don't want to argue with you, I don't want to upset you further, but please just stop and really think about what you're leaving behind. You might think it isn't much, but to some people, just having a sibling going through the same thing as them would mean the world.

<3
   
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 5th 2011, 02:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JKmadu619 View Post
bipolar: It's irrelevant that she is dead. She still gave you life, and it would dishonor her memory to kill yourself.
I'm not judging you, but it isn't your to take. For starters it's against the law to comit suicide, which although it's dumb it proves that suicide is wrong. It's not the thing to do.

I get that people are fighting, and that you feel it's their choice, but the idea of it is that it can get worse, so make it better.

As I said before, you feel happiness lasts longer for others, but you must create joy. I know it's hard, that's why depression is hard to deal with, but you must make an effort to be happy. I don't know why you feel like this, but it will change. You say you keep circling back to depression, but you're 16. You and I have barely seen the world. It might take years, but it will get better.

You said you aren't Einstien, neither am I in case you didn't notice. :P
I honestly meant that anyone can make a difference, no matter what anyone says, and no matter how stupid, or ugly, or terrible they are. No matter what you believe about yourself, you can make a difference. Be it fighting a war, saving lives, or even making people laugh. Every job and every word makes a difference. You can change lives, but you need to give yourself a chance.

I'm not here to mock you, nor to judge you. But I'm speaking from fact, suicide isn't the answer.; It's not a failsafe, it's not a "Get out of jail free card" it isn't hitting "UNO" it's not positive in any way. It is not the answer and it won't make anything better. If you die your life won't get better, because you will be dead and rotting in the ground. Suicide won't make things better, by killing yourself things won't automatically be cured. It will only cause pain for those you love. It is an act of selfishness. If you die, who will your sister have? You said you aren't fondof your aunt, your mum is dead and your dad is gone. If you kill yourself chances our your sweet innocent little sister will follow suit eventually. Don't rip your sister off. Don't cheat her out of her big sister who she looks up to, don't cheat her out of a family.

- Justin
look. i'm not here to judge you and you're sure as hell not here to judge me. im not going to be told by some random person i've never met that i shouldn't do this, because i may not be enstien, but i'm pretty damn smart. and i've made up my mind, you can't change it. it's my desicion to make, and my life to take. i don't see how you think it's not. yeah, my moms dead. yeah i have bipolar disorder, but if that were the reason i were doing this you'd be able to convince me out of it. those aren't the reasons. and i get that you're trying to help, but i don't need help.


had a dream, i was king. woke up, still king(: - eminem


you put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray. i stood there loving you and wished them all away. and you come away with a great little story of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you- taylor swift

i dont know what i want, so don't ask me- taylor swift.



maybe there's beauty in goodbye. theres just no reasons left to try. you push me away. another black day. let's count up the reasons to cry.
   
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 5th 2011, 04:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bipolar View Post
but my friends... they all have someone else. i've been planning, this, and pretty smart about doing so. i've made sure all my friends have someone else to lean on. someone else to care about. sure, one or two people might cry, but they will NEVER have to deal with what you're going through.

I'm here to listen, but not to judge you or change your mind. Because we can all try as hard as we want to, but the human mind is a curious thing.

You say your friends have someone else, and you've made sure they have someone to lean on. No. That's not how it works. My ex thought that I had people to lean on. She thought that nobody would care because she was just a struggling nobody. Well you know what? Some of us "friends" will lose that person that we always leaned on when we need most.. some of us have that one person to lean on, and when that one person is gone.. It sucks. Now I'm not convincing you to do otherwise, I'm just trying to help you realize that you can't be certain. On top of my problems.. It's been 6 years since she took her life, and I still struggle with the idea. Think about it again.

You don't know what they are going through, or what they will be going through. I know doing this sounds like the easy way out, but if life was easy, there would be no purpose. Take a challenge. Make it into something productive.

Now of course, I really want to help you but you say you don't want it. Posting something like that is telling me that you do, in fact, would like help.. but I'm probably falsely assuming, am I not?


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

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Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 5th 2011, 04:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bipolar View Post
look. i'm not here to judge you and you're sure as hell not here to judge me. im not going to be told by some random person i've never met that i shouldn't do this, because i may not be enstien, but i'm pretty damn smart. and i've made up my mind, you can't change it. it's my desicion to make, and my life to take. i don't see how you think it's not. yeah, my moms dead. yeah i have bipolar disorder, but if that were the reason i were doing this you'd be able to convince me out of it. those aren't the reasons. and i get that you're trying to help, but i don't need help.
Well, looks like you've made your choice. It makes me very sad to know someone believes they are beyond help. If you decide to change your mind, or just need help, PM me and I will always be there. Even if it's just to listen.

- Justin



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Trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it,
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Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 5th 2011, 08:13 PM

Darcy, We don't know each other, but I see you live in VA and I don't want to show up at your house to see you have OD on something and tried to kill yourself. I have been EMT for past 2 yrs and I have seen quite a few people who have committed suicide, and that have torn their family and friends apart forever. Their pain will be there, you say they will be able to live, but there will be a place in their heart where they will be missing you. I had 2 friends commit suicide with 2 weeks of each other. My 1st friend is a jock who was really popular, but for unknown reason ended to end his life, and as a result my 2nd friend, who is my best friend taking his life becasue my 1st friend was the best friend of 2nd friend. When I run on scene with thoese call and see the parents crying and the words spreading like wildfire I feel bad for the parents having to lose their kid like that. You say you are going to OD, but here is the things, I have seen many OD's like around 300ish and I've actually had 1 person actually die on me, your consequences of OD is going to be really rough. Depending on the product you are going to have your stomach pumped and have counsling done and from the social aspect, your friends will look at you differently. You say you have made your mind up, but that is now true, you can always change your mind at anytime. There is a place and time to follow through with your made up mind, but suicide isn't one of them. Just remember, this brief interaction with you and I have made me care for you and I really do not want something happening to you. I am not going to judge you because I believe no one should judge anyone and I have personally attmpted many suicides, but trust me it isn't worth it especially to yourself and your family. For yourself, because you have a whole life ahade of you, and life only gets better, High School is the most miserable time, and for your family, because they don't deserve the pain and suffering that you will be leaving behind. I hope I can make an impact on your life and I hope you realize whatever problem you are facing doesn't equate to yourself committing suicide. And just remember, I, Yong, Care!!

Last edited by wk3096; July 5th 2011 at 08:19 PM. Reason: didn't get to finish
   
  (#17 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 6th 2011, 02:59 AM

heyy...i care about you. im fully aware that i have never met you in my life, but after reading all that... i care. im sorry. and i cant say that i understand, because everyone goes through different emotions and nothing is quite the same. your life is totally yours to take...but the question i asked myself...would it be fair to myself to take it? all of the happiness i might have, all the first kisses...the rain, the sun. i needed opposites. i wasnt sure if i was sad anymore because i hadnt been happy in so long. i wish i had had someone to agree with me, or even just to talk to about random stuff that seemed completely irrelevent to take my mind of shit. pm me? i would love hardly anything more than to get to know you -kenzi
   
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 6th 2011, 02:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kenzi View Post
would it be fair to myself to take it? all of the happiness i might have, all the first kisses...the rain, the sun.
I still don't think killing yourself is right, nor is it morally right. I do not believe that someone would hurt others around them while believing that it was going to be okay for everyone in only a month or two. However this was a very, very good was of putting it.



Listen, I understand how you feel, but for lack of a better way of putting it, you must be stronger than the world, and you must fight through each day for your sister. Every day you survive you are getting closer to whatever event makes it all better.

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  (#19 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i am going to kill myself. - July 10th 2011, 07:44 PM

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Originally Posted by bipolar View Post
really?! then WHO cares about me!? who? and they will get over it! in fact, i'm sure they wouldn't care in the first place. and who the hell says that i'm supposed to cure cancer? who says i'm supposed to have kids?! and your age says 13, so no offense but what the fuck would you know? i don't have one thing to live for, and you don't know anything about me! sure, maybe 70% of teens are glad they failed. i have 2 things to say to that. 1: i've beat the odds before. im fucking bipolar for christ's sake, and thats not something people my age can usually say! and 2: i won't fail. i would never be able to fail at my own suicide.
Who cares about you? I do. WE do!! And yes, I'm rather confident that everyone on this site WOULD care if you took your own life. Maybe people can get over it...but at what cost, in how long? Depression and suicidal thoughts of their own, most likely. And in many cases, quite possibly for years. You say you don't want anyone else to take their own life. Chances are if you take yours, you may just push someone over the edge. It would be the exact opposite of what you want.

In terms of failing, you don't know that. Everybody thinks there's a surefire means of taking their own life. THERE'S NOT. No method is ever guaranteed to work. So unless you like the risk of permanent brain injury, or being paralyzed, or causing yourself further grief that will very likely be irreversible, making an attempt would be ill advised. PLEASE think this through. Realize that you are not alone. You have us. I realize that's not the same as having in-person relationships with others that care about you to the same level, but it's a start. There are more than 10,000 users on this site. And with the exception of a few trolls that will get themselves banned within 10 minutes of being a member, I'd bet my life's savings that every single one of them cares about you and does not want you to take your own life. 10,000 people. That's a pretty big number. So take advantage of it. You have a HUGE support network, right here. All you have to do is have the courage to ask for help. All you have to do is know that you are not alone. Reach out to us. Let us help you. We want you to survive and succeed as a human being. Do not hesitate to PM me if you want to talk about anything.

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Correction: The number of members on the site is currently over 35,000 people.

And Darcy: we DO love you, and we DO care about you, and we are not lying when we say that. We are telling the truth. I promise you that.


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last updated on 11/11/17

Last edited by Loving Linux Penguin; July 10th 2011 at 09:37 PM.
   
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Re: i want to kill myself. - July 11th 2011, 01:13 AM

i'm not the best at giving advice, but i can try.

i understand what it feels like to hurt, and how painful it is when people tell you to cheer up, and that there are so many enjoyable things in life. because its really not that easy for everyone, is it?

i dont think you specified why you want to kill yourself, if its just that your mood is low then thats enough a reason, but i think what is important is that you can find someone to talk to, because it feels so much better to have someone listen and understand.

when i feel suicidal, i try find even the tiniest of enjoyment in something (e.g. a new cd, or video games), or distract myself and just wait the day out. i postpone suicide for just a little longer and hope that someday things might change, and try get help in the meantime. this might not help for you, but i hope for you the best!

i will happily talk to you if you would like to message me or something.

- sam
   
  (#21 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i want to kill myself. - July 11th 2011, 02:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by heavymetalgirl View Post
i'm not the best at giving advice, but i can try.

i understand what it feels like to hurt, and how painful it is when people tell you to cheer up, and that there are so many enjoyable things in life. because its really not that easy for everyone, is it?
Well no, it's not at all easy. Getting yourself out of a pickle is NEVER easy. I don't think anyone here is trying to say that getting through issues is easy. But what we are saying is it tends to be worth it. We don't expect you to do this alone. We're here to help you. Your friends are there to help you. Your family is there to help you. There are therapists and councilors there to help you. You don't have to face this alone at all. But getting through your issues is worth it.


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last updated on 11/11/17
   
  (#22 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i want to kill myself. - July 23rd 2011, 02:06 AM

um ok. so... i know what i said, but i didn't kill myself. i was going to slit my wrists and then take a bottle and a half of pills, and i was sure that would do it. so i was ready. i was in position and all that was left to do was slit my wrists and take the drugs. but something wouldn't let me. and then i knew what it was. i wont say her name, but let's just say she is... EVERYTHING to me! SHE IS MY WORLD! i love her like crazy and i couldnt bring myself to leave her, because i know she would hate it. she kept me here. and i will never forget that. so i guess thats all i have to say... just a update i guess.


had a dream, i was king. woke up, still king(: - eminem


you put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray. i stood there loving you and wished them all away. and you come away with a great little story of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you- taylor swift

i dont know what i want, so don't ask me- taylor swift.



maybe there's beauty in goodbye. theres just no reasons left to try. you push me away. another black day. let's count up the reasons to cry.
   
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