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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
bayhorse321 Offline
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Broken - July 29th 2011, 01:42 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel lost in life. It hurts when I'm awake. Hell it hurts when I sleep. I can never be happy for long. It's like the fates say shana is happy again... We better get her. Most days I just sit in my room and wait out the day until I go feed my horse. I am useless and worthless, no one really cares, no one really wants me here. I just dont know how much longer I can go on like this. I just want to die most days. Apparently the meds aren't working. I hate me... Sorry for the rant.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Broken - July 29th 2011, 02:14 PM

Shana, I am teribly sorry you are feeling this way. I understand how you feel, especially about the fates. You are not worthless or useless.
You are a caring person with so much to offer. You say the meds arnt working, can you go to your doctor and tell him/her about your feelings?

Please don't do anything to hurt yourself. Please pm me at any time, i am always willing to talk.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
bayhorse321 Offline
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Re: Broken - July 29th 2011, 03:11 PM

It hurts so bad I just don't see the point any more. I thought they were working but when ever I am alone I feel like I don't exsist and like this isn't real. I just don't know what to do any more.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Broken - July 30th 2011, 02:54 AM

hun, please just hold on. things will get better. you need to remember that. you are a wonderful person
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Broken - July 30th 2011, 02:57 AM

Thanks. I only wish I could see it in myself. How wonderful can I be when I sleep through my summer days and am miserable when I awake. I want to be a better person but ian so pessimistic.
   
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Re: Broken - July 30th 2011, 11:30 PM

Shana you are a wonderful caring person. you have helped me so much and others. you do not deserve to feel this way. i wish i could take your pain aaway. i really do wish you could see how amazing you are. keep singing Shana. love you!
   
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Re: Broken - July 31st 2011, 12:35 AM

Shana honey, I know how you're feeling. I wish I had seen this post when/before I was talking to you yesterday, or that you'd felt comfortable enough to talk to me about how you're feeling. I care, and so do a lot of other people here. I want you here, and so do a lot of other people. Shana, we love you<3 You're awesome and I know you can get through this<3 Please please talk to me if you need to. Don't hold back because you think I have my own things I'm dealing with, I don't care what I'm dealing with. I want you to be happy and feel better. Thats a bigger concern to me than how I'm feeling.

Love ya girl<3
Hang in there


♪♫"The mirror only shows
The shell of what's below
You can't go on suffering
The illusion of control
It's time for letting go
You can't go on suffering
And now you know
Now you know"♪♫
'Now You Know' - 2Cents
Things get better.
Always keep fighting.
❤Feel free to PM/VM, or add me if you ever need a friend, or someone to talk to. I'm online quite often.
Add me on FB <--- apparently this is my creeper face.
   
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Re: Broken - July 31st 2011, 01:57 AM

I feel the same as you Nikki. I hate to bother people with my problems when I care more about the hurting of others. I just need to rant every now and then. I trust you fully, I just hate to always be so negative.

Maddie you are amazing and I thank all three of you for being great friends to me. I appreciate it but I am trying to find the good but failing... I love you guys. Thanks
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Broken - July 31st 2011, 02:09 AM

I know what you mean sweetheart, but you gotta try and let the feelings out more often. Keeping them bottled up doesn't do any good hon<3
I know you can make it through


♪♫"The mirror only shows
The shell of what's below
You can't go on suffering
The illusion of control
It's time for letting go
You can't go on suffering
And now you know
Now you know"♪♫
'Now You Know' - 2Cents
Things get better.
Always keep fighting.
❤Feel free to PM/VM, or add me if you ever need a friend, or someone to talk to. I'm online quite often.
Add me on FB <--- apparently this is my creeper face.
   
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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
bayhorse321 Offline
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Re: Broken - July 31st 2011, 04:24 AM

Yeah I know it doesn't help me but it's hard for me to share sometimes. Thanks though <3
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Broken - July 31st 2011, 04:55 AM

Shana- I love you so much. Dont give up, at least for my sake. I need you here. i really really do. Just know that someone here NEEDS you. Without you lately ive been so lost


Just rise above this
Kill them with your kindness
Ignorance is blindness
They're the ones that stand to lose

'Cause they don't even know you
All they see is SCARS
They don't see the ANGEL
Living in your heart
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Broken - July 31st 2011, 03:39 PM

Sora!!!! I NEED you too. I seriously have only you guys to talk to and I miss talking to you. I love you too.

I have been feeling so bad lately and almost did some really stupid things. I'm sorry I even considered them.
   
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