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Help...just help. - August 4th 2011, 10:41 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't know what to do anymore. Everything's gotten so far out of control and no one seems to be able to help. I need to know where to go, what to do, who to see to make this go away.

We've had a fight at home. My mum is under the impression that my depression is my way of making life miserable for them, that I'm punishing them and she doesn't know why. My dad wont even look me in the eye, he just storms around and slams doors.

It's all gone so wrong. We had a fight and I've felt so low for ages and I just couldn't stop. I left home in my car and pulled up a few miles out of town when I couldn't drive safely anymore. I called the crisis team and told them I was ready to commit suicide, that I'd left home and didn't want to go back, ever, and all the woman told me was that I'd have to wait til the morning because she's finished work and the CRS wouldn't come til tomorrow. Then she said "Go home and have a nice bath, you'll feel better. Will you do that? Will you be safe tonight?" And I said yes, because what else do you say?

I just cant stop. I've cried for hours now, I'm home but my parents both blanked me. I ended up screaming at my mum, telling her how desperate I was, how badly I wanted to die, and she said "Well, thanks for sharing that." and went to bed.

I need to escape. My CPN is on holiday, my Dr can't do anything beyond what he has, Psychological Wellbeing wont see me, and the crisis team are based 40 miles away.

I've got lots of sleeping pills. I can't tell myself that I'm not going to take them. I want to self harm but there's no fucking space with all the bandages, and I just want this to stop.

Where can I go? Who can I see? I'll do anything to get away from home, to feel better, to make this go away. Please.
   
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Re: Help...just help. - August 4th 2011, 11:11 PM

Jo,

Truth is I am writing this but I don't have an answer. I can understand why you seem pretty hopeless and I wish there was something I could do to magically make everything okay because you don't deserve to be where you are right now. I think you need to go to a&e. I know that;s scary but they'll keep you safe for the night and then hopefully they will contact the crisis team for you and they will come out and see you. That's all I can think off. I know going is hard but you need help and this needs to get sorted because you can't carry on living this way and damaging your body.

I know things seem dark right now but they won't be this way forever. You're an amazing person and I wish there were more people like you in the world and it;s extremely unfortunate that you have depression and feel so low because you don't deserve it in the slightest. Things will get bettes. It's just going to take time and it;s going to be a hell of a lot of hard work but you can and you will get there.

I'm always here for you and my phone is always on. Text me any time.

Jessie <3


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Re: Help...just help. - August 5th 2011, 04:43 AM

You can do this.
It doesn't matter that your parents don't understand; you know that most of us on TH do.
And we can see how strong you are.
Keep going.
You HAVE to keep going.


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Re: Help...just help. - August 5th 2011, 05:18 PM

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Originally Posted by Alexithymia View Post
Jo,

Truth is I am writing this but I don't have an answer. I can understand why you seem pretty hopeless and I wish there was something I could do to magically make everything okay because you don't deserve to be where you are right now. I think you need to go to a&e. I know that;s scary but they'll keep you safe for the night and then hopefully they will contact the crisis team for you and they will come out and see you. That's all I can think off. I know going is hard but you need help and this needs to get sorted because you can't carry on living this way and damaging your body.

I know things seem dark right now but they won't be this way forever. You're an amazing person and I wish there were more people like you in the world and it;s extremely unfortunate that you have depression and feel so low because you don't deserve it in the slightest. Things will get bettes. It's just going to take time and it;s going to be a hell of a lot of hard work but you can and you will get there.

I'm always here for you and my phone is always on. Text me any time.

Jessie <3
We don't have an A & E here, just an MIU and they can't admit me because there's no inpatient unit besides Cancer, Geriatric and Psychiatric. The nearest hospital with an A & E is 25 miles away, and the closest where I'd be admitted is 40 miles.

Completely stuck. Alone all day, every day. Called Crisis team twice and they said they were too busy too talk or come out today, so I have to wait until Sunday.

All time low. Never gotten this bad before.
   
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Re: Help...just help. - August 5th 2011, 11:23 PM

Jo...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that your parents act like that towards you because they should care more than that. As hard as it is on them they probably just have no idea what to do. You can make it through this though. I know you can, I realize you and I have never had any extended contact but you help people, and I care about you. People love you and care about you and want you to make it through this. I know it's bad right now but it will get better, it has to.

<3
   
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