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Robin Offline
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99% There - August 12th 2011, 06:42 AM

So like the title says im pretty much there, if it wasnt for my girlfriend (who i think i will loose any day now) i would kill myself

see heres what happened. I used to want to kill myself due to depression and lonliness, i was isolated i had no job i felt like i didnt fit in with my family and had no friends aswell as a broken heart, it was all wrong yet i could never bring myself to kill myself, i wanted to i just couldnt do it.

4 weeks ago an old friend came into my life, i never knew what the potential was between us but i just thought it like any other friend, she lives in America and was visiting England. she showed me what life should be like, she took me out into town clubbing and introduced me to loads of new mates, she made me happy and we fell in love, it was never the plan to have a long distance relationship so we just kind of went with "its a fling"
I had never been so perfectley happy with life as i was then, i had it all and i knew when she left that i would come crashing back down with pain, i fell for her in a huge way and she said she felt the same, we fell way past the point of love. I couldnt bare the thought of her going back to America, i made a promise to myself that after 3 weeks i was going to kill myself, i was perfectly happy with life and never wanted to go back to the way things were so i was set that when i did it the last memorys would be great ones, and i would be dying not because i was depressed but because i had seen everything in life i wanted.
little did i know she and i both wanted the relationship to continue, so we decided to make it long distance, 1 week after shes left now and im worried im going to loose her.....I know if i do that im 100% sure im going to kill myself........lately all i can think about is 2 things, her and how im going to do it

im not looking for help i just had to type this down somewhere and let someone know how i feel.






   
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Re: 99% There - August 12th 2011, 06:58 AM

Well I am glad that you got this out. I'm sorry that things have gotten this bad. Long distance relationships are difficult but they can work if both parties show a lot of effort.


"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars."

"For those who don't care, for those who can't see, never give up, always thrive to be free."

Smile, you are beautiful www.operationbeautiful.com

Blessed Be!
Nicole AKA Nikki
Artist, Poet, and Future Social Worker
   
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