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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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liarr!!!!....... - August 19th 2011, 09:13 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i seem to be lying, so much, to everyone i love. it never ends, because i have to hide it all. my parents, and my whole family, my brother, and my friends, teachers, constantly pulling down my sleeves and hiding my scars, trying to put on a smile, when i really wanna curl up and cry. and whenever someone asks whats wrong, i lie, say i just feel sick, or im tired, and its so hard to keep them beleiving me, because i am so scared of them finding out, one suicide attempt, and i dont regret it, i wouldnt mind dying, or never have being born, but i dont think i would try again, becuase i realized that, things may seem tough, but i love who im with, i just wish i could tell them.

i understand my mistakes, and i keep being reminded of them, and whenthey are mentioned, i feel empty, stupid, i dont know what to do, i dont know what the point in stopping is, when i am gonna feel worse when i do, and i have no one to cry to, to hug and no one to tell me it will be ok.
i feel like i need a doctor, but im too young to not get caught by my mum, and then what would i do, she would hate me for lying and for not telling her.

i just dont know what to do!

my signature says what i feel, i dont wanna lave it all, becuase theres so much i would leave behind, but why do i feel so crappy right now??


life's a bitch,
and yea, some of us wanna die,
but why do we neglect to think about who we leave behind,
just spare a thought to those, they care,
especially if thats just the one last thought you do spare.


keep the sting!! in your smilee!!
xxx
   
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Re: liarr!!!!....... - August 19th 2011, 10:04 PM

Hi Sophie

I’m really sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time at the moment, things sound really difficult for you. I understand how horrible it feels to have to lie to everyone; it makes you feel awful doesn’t it? Do you feel like you are wearing a mask? You’re hiding how you’re really feeling with this fake smile that everyone seems to believe? Each time you’re telling someone you’re okay, you’re screaming out on the inside that you’re hurting, but you’re too scared to tell the truth. You do sound very down, it’s so tiring pretending to be okay, no wonder you feel so tired.

Is there anyone in your life at the moment that you feel you can talk to? Speaking to someone about how bad your feeling could really help you. They’ll be able to offer you practical advice on how to get further help. How about a teacher? Is there a teacher you’re particularly close to, or that you like? You don’t deserve to feel like this, you deserve to be happy. You don’t have to suffer alone through this. Reach out, get some help. You don’t need to lie anymore.

Here if you need anyone, take care
   
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Re: liarr!!!!....... - August 19th 2011, 11:13 PM

Hello there

The feeling of needing to lie to people can be common because you don't want people to feel your pain either because you see them struggling or you want to feel that you're stronger

Here's my opinion, you don't need to put yourself through that. ever. it is tough thing to do no matter who you are. Everyone needs help every now and again

I'm not sure what your mum is like but I'd recommend just talking to her about how you feel. She shouldn't hate you for it because it can be difficult admitting things

People are always here to help, keep your head up and I know you can handle what you're going through
   
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Re: liarr!!!!....... - August 20th 2011, 04:39 PM

my mum, she has been going through so much, and i dont want to upset her, and i have only one person to turn to, who recently told me that she doesnt care, that she has had enough of me telling her everything, which made me feel so shitty, and now i jsut dont know who tot urn to, i dont talk to my dad. well not about anything important.

i've just completly lost everything, every peice of sanity i had, my mind is out of controll!!!!!!

what can i do ?????


life's a bitch,
and yea, some of us wanna die,
but why do we neglect to think about who we leave behind,
just spare a thought to those, they care,
especially if thats just the one last thought you do spare.


keep the sting!! in your smilee!!
xxx
   
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Re: liarr!!!!....... - August 20th 2011, 05:01 PM

Have you anyone at school you can talk to about how your feeling at the moment? Teachers are a fantastic source of support. I used to talk to one of mine and she was just amazing. They are in school every day so you always have someone there to talk to. They can also point you in the right direction of other services that can help you. Is there a teacher you can think of that you’d like to talk to? You really aren’t alone okay? We are all here. You can talk to any of us
   
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Re: liarr!!!!....... - August 20th 2011, 05:32 PM

i dont like or trust my teachers, its a big school, over 100 teachers, i get stuck with all the idiot teachers who show no emotion, there is one, my head of year, not really a teacher, but i dont know if i want to tell her, becuase she's just a bit too involved, lets say, she just,m well she cares, but then seh takes it too far!!


life's a bitch,
and yea, some of us wanna die,
but why do we neglect to think about who we leave behind,
just spare a thought to those, they care,
especially if thats just the one last thought you do spare.


keep the sting!! in your smilee!!
xxx
   
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Re: liarr!!!!....... - August 20th 2011, 06:27 PM

What does she do that makes you feel like she takes it too far? She sounds really nice Maybe think about it? You could tell her something little to begin with to see how she reacts? What county do you live in?
   
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Re: liarr!!!!....... - August 20th 2011, 06:46 PM

Try different staff members, if you just say a few things and see whether they react in a way you want.

Same with your mum, mothers are always there for you and its nice what your doing but right now you need someone to talk to from the looks of it.

As Jess said people are here to help just keep on going and things will get brighten up
   
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Re: liarr!!!!....... - August 20th 2011, 07:44 PM

umh, i speak to her about every problem i have with people calling me an EMO at school, and she just goes and says to them, 'sophie says that you have been calling her names, now i need you to respect her and stop this' which makes it worsecuase they think i am a tattl, and i know she has no one to tell about this, butshe will tell my mum, whether i say not to or not.

i know things will brighten up soon, but for now it feels darker than ever before, i need help, but i dont know how to get it :/
i really really dont want to tell my mum, becuase i want to sort it out alone, adn then when im better, and am no longer feeling this way, i can tell her, and not have her being ashamed, ebcuase it will all be over already!!


life's a bitch,
and yea, some of us wanna die,
but why do we neglect to think about who we leave behind,
just spare a thought to those, they care,
especially if thats just the one last thought you do spare.


keep the sting!! in your smilee!!
xxx
   
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Re: liarr!!!!....... - August 20th 2011, 07:48 PM

What country do you live in? If it's England I might be able to point you in the right direction of a few bits and peices
   
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Re: liarr!!!!....... - August 21st 2011, 09:24 PM

i live in englandd!!


life's a bitch,
and yea, some of us wanna die,
but why do we neglect to think about who we leave behind,
just spare a thought to those, they care,
especially if thats just the one last thought you do spare.


keep the sting!! in your smilee!!
xxx
   
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.Jess. Offline
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Re: liarr!!!!....... - August 22nd 2011, 06:58 PM

Fab

Have you been on the Childline website? I used to use it when I was younger, it's great!!! You can talk to a counsellor online for free. Kind like an MSN set up. The people are so lovely If you don't like the sound of that you can email them too, you should check it out! Here's the site: http://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/Cha...nlineChat.aspx

Then there's this website: http://www.youthaccess.org.uk/ On this site you can search for services nearby you, so then you'd be able to talk to someone outside of school which would be really good!

Then there is this site that has several bits and peices on. There's a pen friend scheme so you can share letters with someone who has experience with depression who can help you, and there's an online support group and it gives you information about depression groups near you This is the pen friend scheme link then you can have a look around and see what you think about the other things: http://www.depressionalliance.org/ho...end-scheme.php

Have a look at this site for a bit more information http://www.youngminds.org.uk/my-head-hurts and this site is information on another support helpline: http://www.supportline.org.uk/about/index.php

And finally this site has a webchat too and a helpline and they can help you find services and point you in the right direction http://www.getconnected.org.uk/

Hope this helps a bit


A dream is a wish that you make with your heart

   
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Re: liarr!!!!....... - August 24th 2011, 12:19 AM

that has helped loads thank you x


life's a bitch,
and yea, some of us wanna die,
but why do we neglect to think about who we leave behind,
just spare a thought to those, they care,
especially if thats just the one last thought you do spare.


keep the sting!! in your smilee!!
xxx
   
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.Jess. Offline
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Re: liarr!!!!....... - August 24th 2011, 12:23 AM

I hope so! No problem! Honestly Sophie, be in touch if you ever need anything. I care, and I want you to know your not alone. Take care <3


A dream is a wish that you make with your heart

   
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Re: liarr!!!!....... - August 24th 2011, 09:56 PM

thank you so muchh, i really really appreciate this so much


life's a bitch,
and yea, some of us wanna die,
but why do we neglect to think about who we leave behind,
just spare a thought to those, they care,
especially if thats just the one last thought you do spare.


keep the sting!! in your smilee!!
xxx
   
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