Originally Posted by alibear101 (Post 722080)

hey hun! wow, i am so sorry your parents said that. some people should just not be allowed to have children. i know from experience that you have to surround yourself with people who love and care about you no matter what. throughout the good times and the bad times. you just have to stay strong. you can always lean on me if you need a friend! :) message me sometime so we can talk <3

Originally Posted by Donkey (Post 722085)

one day soon you will be old enough to say 'FU' and move out- they only are parents by name, you owe them nothing if thats how they make you feel.

Only you can decide your life. Suicide ends lives, but not just the person who makes that fatal choice. You only need to read a few of the posts on this suicide survivors website to know how it affects us loved ones you leave behind. (google - Alliance of hope as i cant link the website here)

please believe me when i tell you, even those you may not have seen in recent years, will suffer greatly from your loss.

Taking your life is not the same as loosing a loved one to natural causes, or even an accident. The aftermath never goes away.

There is help out there. You can feel better. Please get help to save yourself of the deep emotional pain you are feeling.

Please don’t become my sister xxxxxx

Originally Posted by It's Killing Me (Post 723361)

Originally Posted by lonleygirl (Post 722053)

don't let anything brig you down, everything happens for one reason! So obviously your time will come, hold on and I know that something good will happen.

Originally Posted by Pisces (Post 722476)

Were your parents angry when they say that? DO they not pay for your clothes, food, tuition and all those things?

Originally Posted by Kristen1995 (Post 723436)

Yes, they were angry but serious. I'm sure that they were telling the truth. They do, but you think that it means love?

Originally Posted by Kristen1995 (Post 723436)

Yes, they were angry but serious. I'm sure that they were telling the truth.

Originally Posted by TheCrowing (Post 723451)

I know it's not right for them to say any of that.. But really now, take a step back from the situation. Don't look at it the same way as you normally do. Step out of this "reason to live?" mindset and take on a new one, even if for 30 seconds. Completely step out of it. Look at the situation now. Look at how you feel, how they feel, do you even know how they feel, without the obvious issue already stated? Now step out and think about all of the good things that have happened, even the smallest. Is it really worth it to feel this way? By denying happiness, you're just making it harder on yourself. Take that step out, and let yourself be happy in a nonharmful way, even if just for an hour. Maybe you'll see the point I'm trying to make then.

Originally Posted by Pisces (Post 724398)

Yes, it is love. It is their way of showing that yes they care.
See all those dads who don't pay anything after divorce. Its their way of showing that they don't give a damn. Then there are dads who do pay regularly. Its their way of showing that yes they care.
Take my case only, my dad (living with us only right now) he tries to escape every situation when he's asked for money. And my mom she's the one who makes him shell out money so that she can save her own earnings for our future, for when that insecure man finally has the guts to move out or we lose patience and kick him out.
Now if my mom tells me that she hates me and my dad tells me that he loves me, should I believe any of them? Don't their actions speak louder than their words?

Originally Posted by Schiz (Post 724846)

How can you be so sure? Is what you say in anger always "true", or something you ended up to regret saying?

If your home life is that negative, just get out for most of the day. You said you have no friends. It doesn't mean hanging out. Just find somewhere to go and to get away from all the negativity. I never really had friends. For the first time in my life, I have only just made friends that I actively hang out with.

Obviously, I know that escaping the situation doesn't solve it. You're still going to have to deal with them, and that's reality. It's going to be hard. One day though, you will escape them. If they hate you as much as you say, then you know what you should do? You should direct all your negative emotions to spite them. Live. Thrive. Show them just how wrong they are by being better human beings than they ever were. And if, as an adult, you still have all these negative feelings (which you won't) then you can tell them you never wanted them when they ask for help as frail, old people.

I don't presume to know you. I know there's nothing I can do to make these negative feelings in you to go away. That's why you should focus them in a positive way. If you're as worthless as you say, then your time must be worthless as well right? Start putting that time towards volunteering, towards helping people. And your feelings will start to change. You will feel good for helping people. You will start making friends, in a safe way, far removed from school and the home, with a clean slate too. You will begin to have a sense of worth.

Originally Posted by Kristen1995 (Post 725006)

For me, their money is not enough evidence showing love. I would rather have poorer but more caring parents.

Originally Posted by Pisces (Post 725012)

Did you ever consider that your parents regret bringing you in the world because they weren't able to protect you from the things you went through? That they might be going through hell every moment?

And you didn't get my point. It is just one way of knowing that they care. The most basic one. Yes it is not everything but it is something.

Originally Posted by Kristen1995 (Post 725607)

You don't know my parents in person but are making too many false assumptions. They may feel like they have some sort of responsibility for me such as raising me, but it just proves that they are trying to abide by their morals. They are devout Christians, who have a whole set of strict values an principles. It was a major reason why they did not go through the abortion, but they do feel regretful.

Protecting me from suffering? If they did want to, they should not have saved me when I attempted suicide. Just let me die. And then the problem would be solved.

Originally Posted by Kristen1995 (Post 725008)

How can I be so sure? See my reply above about the CONTEXT.

I understand every word you said. And you aren't not the first one to say this. It's easier said than done. I'm not sure if you know what it is really like to have PTSD (being raped) and severe depression. It's hard to describe my feelings. I'm losing energy and faith.

Originally Posted by Schiz (Post 726232)

I know it's easier said than done. And no, I do not know what it's like to have PTSD. You're absolutely right. Even if you could articulately describe your feelings, I could probably never truly understand them, no matter how much I wanted to.

And to be frank, you're probably never going to hear anything you haven't heard before. Just because something's new doesn't mean it'd be a better course of action.

Kristen, think about it this way: If they really didn't want you, why didn't they put you up for adoption? Christianity doesn't say you have to raise the child. And many adoptive families are very religious, they would have had no issues worrying about whether or not you would be brought up religiously. I think that's proof they wanted to keep you.

And just like how I can never know what you're really feeling, you will never really know what was going on in your parent's minds. Just like we are being forced to make assumptions about you, you are making assumptions and projections with them. Perhaps you're only choosing to focus on the negative statements, and forgetting the positive ones, a very well-documented error of memory.

I think the fact they didn't put you up for adoption speaks volumes about their true feelings, in spite of whatever petty outbursts might occur on occasion.