Triggering (Suicide): Help! Is it actually my fault? Will this harm my friendship?

[iNeedYouToHelpMe]

My life sucks. I just can't do it. I'm on the edge.

This is the story that made me reach my breaking point:

So today was supposed to be a good day since its Friday but it wasn't. My friends and I got into a conflict and now there's this weird tension between us and a guilty feeling in my heart. Why? So it started like this: We have this weird rule at school that we can't go off campus (walking from school to a place) and come back to school unless someone picks you up. Friend A and I decided to go to the library to do our project and Friends B,C and D went to go by ice cream to a shop far from school (15 min. walk) But when Friend A and I found out the library was closed, we decided to join Friends B,C and D. Friends B, C and D ditched us so instead we went to Wendy's. Then it rained & I asked my aunt to pick up Friend A and I therefore leaving Friends B, C and D although they asked to come but I gave them the excuse that it was a small car & that my aunt needs to go back to work right away. In my mind it was fair since they ditched us, we ditch them. Later on, however, Friends B, C and D got caught and got into trouble. They were yelled at, they needed to call their parents & awaiting for the rest of the punishment. Friend D wasn't allowed to play for the uncoming basketball game today & blamed me for it. I reasoned out with friends B and C but not Friend D since I'm being avoided. Friend A and I really need to settle this with Friends B, C and especially D before Monday since Friends B, C and D still plan to not sit with us during lunch.

Help anyone? Will this damage our friendship? Who's fault is it actually? I think its both since we all decided to go off campus but Friends B, C and D just got caught. I'm playing the odd one out here since NO ONE is siding with me at all. I feel like someone branded "B*TCH" on my forehead & made me feel bad like its REALLY my fault. Someone help me please! I can't face this alone!

I know this sounds stupid but we had long friendship and it hurts when you see it breaking, it hurts when you feel neglected, it hurts when no one talks to you.

[screwdriverneedsgas]

i know it is complicated. But why not you try apologizing to then first, and try to talk things out nicely? it will be better than avoiding the issue totally. =) definitely try talking to them for this. just remember to not raise your voice or do anything that can be considered "arguing" cause arguments only lead to more arguments. If you try reasoning with them, it might come to a reasonable conclusion which gives everyone a win-win situation. =)

update us on how everything goes.

[Kate*]

I would give everyone some time to calm down before you do anything before someone says or does something they'll regret. As for the fault issue, everyone made mistakes here and everyone has to take responsibility for their part in it. No one should've been 'ditched' you or them, but nothing can be done about it now. If they are going to be mad at you then they are going to be mad at you and other than apologizing for your part in it, there isn't much you can do. My guess is that they were just forced to deal with the consequences of what they did, which they didn't like, and they are looking for someone else to blame becase it's easier to do that than it is to admit that they messed up and did it to themselves.