Empty Life?

[Inlimbonowandforever]

Ok, I know I shouldn't complain... I have it pretty good, and I get that... it's not really like, you know, anything is HORRIBLY wrong with my life...

And yet my life doesn't feel right... I don't really mean like, I feel dead inside, and empty all the time, or any of that sort of thing... I have some friends, and while I haven't really had a girlfriend, I don't really let my lack of a relationship get me down anymore... but my life just feels... I don't quite know how to describe it, I guess the only words that come close are flat and dull.

Let me go over my typical day:

Get up around 6 so I can shower and go to school.
Go to school, do work, talk to friends, maybe read a bit.
Go home, sit at the computer... maybe read, play guitar, or build Magic, the Gathering decks.


Oh, and of course, I eat and drink and all that stuff too.

My life just feels a lot less grand and exciting and full of love and laughter and friendship than I'd like it to be... and I don't know, I'm probably just complaining, in which case, sorry, but it does feel like a form of depression.

I'll go through times (usually not too long, a day or two at most, and usually more like just a few hours) where I don't really see anything good about anything, and then I'll kind of "relapse" into my depressed, 8th grader and Freshman self... nothing'll look right, I'll let my lack of a relationship, or many good friends get to me, I'll just see how much of a failure I am, and how hard and terrible life is and is going to be...

and then I'll have days where everything is fine... I just don't know anymore... even on those days, and especially on the In-between days, when I don't really feel everything, I feel like my life is just a cardboard cutout of a life... I barely have any interaction with anyone after school, and that's not entirely from lack of trying, I was crazy and you're typical "weirdo" when I was younger, but now that I've matured a bit (still crazy-ish, but with a bit more common sense and social smarts) it still seems like my social situation isn't getting any better.

tl:dr
My life is going pretty good, but it seems like I don't have a lot of meaningful relationships or things, and that makes me feel like my life is empty.

[Crimsonkin]

This is not complaining its venting there is a big difference. I can realate the the feeling of life just being a cardboard cutout. When you just feel like your being dragged though life very slowly and nothing really stands out. Just the same ol same ol every day.

By the way Magic The Gathering rocks!

[Inlimbonowandforever]

Yes it does! And yeah, that sums up pretty well how I feel...

I guess I want to add to my post that I WANT to stand out and like, have exciting times and make new friends and ask a girl out and all that good stuff, I'm just too shy to, and I guess thats kinda what depresses me, the feeling that I know I CAN change my life to be what I want it to be, but not really being ABLE to... if that makes any sense...

People always say like I'm so lucky, and I should be greatful and all that, and I know that, and I got a lot of nice things and a good family and an awesome dog and money, and all that... but then there are days when I feel terrible or I feel like everything is bland and I don't feel lucky at all, but I feel guilty because I know I should.

[Haunted]

yes, I completely understand.
I feel like I just exist all of the time. I have never felt like I was living my life fully. For me it's the same routine:
wake up, breakfast, school, homework, computer/dancing/music, sleep. Maybe see my friends on saturday night, but it's always the same. No news. Nothing.
I try to change things sometimes, but nothing ever works. Actually, when I try to change something in my life, things only get worse.
Amazing, huh?
And I've never had a boyfriend too. Well, no one ever liked me. Maybe because my face isn't as beautiful as other girls' face and my personality isn't as interesting as I think.

Just know you're not the only one feeling this way.
It's a bit shitty situation, but I've learned to deal with it and carry on.

[Bubbles37]

This all sounds so familiar. That's how I feel about my life, too.
I don't really know what else to say.....

[Inlimbonowandforever]

Hmmm... sounds like a lot of us feel this way...

I will say, that bright clothing doesn't really HELP take away the complete empty feeling... but it does make me a happier person... kinda weird, but true.

Also, Magic often helped, but now our Game shop is closed, and most of my friends who play are busy or moved away for the winter... so theres not too much actual playing going on (I still get a kick out of making decks though)

Idk, some days I feel empty, others I feel like I'm waiting... idk for what... back in like, middle school, I thought it was for an actual good relationship, but now, while I think that's still a possibility, I'm not sure if that's what I'm waiting for.

[Kanye West]

I feel like that more often than not.

I think two good things to combat this are:

1) Set new goals for yourself. And preferably something new, if there's something that you've always wanted to do and you have the time to pursue it, go for it. You might meet new people,gain a life-long interest, learn something new, learn something about yourself, etc.

2) Vent. I think it's good that you're doing this. It shows that you're still fighting and that your thoughts and feelings aren't stuck inside of you. you can use this emotion to psychologically fire you up and motivate yourself to do better things.

It's hard, but it's doable in most cases. Try taking life by the reins, rather than just waiting for life to come to you.

Keep positive and strong.

(I feel like a complete hypocrite saying this xD)

[Inlimbonowandforever]

Thanks Trick!

[Crimsonkin]

Originally Posted by Hellkite

Yes it does! And yeah, that sums up pretty well how I feel...

I guess I want to add to my post that I WANT to stand out and like, have exciting times and make new friends and ask a girl out and all that good stuff, I'm just too shy to, and I guess thats kinda what depresses me, the feeling that I know I CAN change my life to be what I want it to be, but not really being ABLE to... if that makes any sense...

.

It makes perfect sense I want to do so many things too. Im at the point in my life where making something of myself is very important, and i too know i CAN make something of my life i just have to constantly fight myself to get it done. The future comes on quick when you are faced with building a future you can live with.

[Inlimbonowandforever]

So... last night wasn't TERRIBLE, not a depressive day or anything... but I was overcome with a sense of emptiness that had me pretty bad.