feeling suicidal...again

[Ella.x]

I feel really down again. I am moving in with my father in a week and I don't know how to cope. I feel so unwelcome in their house. I don't want to have to keep relying on other people to help me out. I feel like I should be doing it all on my own. The guy I was seeing has now ditched me for someone else and although it was only short, the rejection hurts like hell.I feel like I'm failing at everything and my anxiety is making it really difficult to work at the moment. It feels like everything is about to fall apart. I don't know what to do apart from hurt myself :/

[Palmolive]

Hi Ella.

I'm going to cut to the chase. You hurting yourself isn't going to solve what is going on around you. You can hurt you as much as you want to but in reality, it's not really going to help the situation at all and in fact it could make it worse which is not what you want, otherwise you wouldn't be here reaching out for support and advice.

As for moving back in with your dad, may I ask why you're doing so? Is there anywhere else you can go or could you even get a place of your own. I don't think I know any of your background situation so it would be good if you could say a little more about it and I'll try and help you. Why don't you think you would get on with your dad, anyway?

As hard as it is at the time, relatiosnhips don't always work out and I feel positive in saying that I am sure you'll find someone else sooner or later. I know it's hurts, and I know it's painful but you can beat these feelings and as time goes on you will start to feel better about not seeing him anymore.

I really just, I know that you've struggled in the past and I'd hate to see you go back down, so keep on fighting the urges. So what ever you can to keep yourself safe because you ARE worth it and you can beat all of this and live a happy life. You are who you are and love you for it because you're unique and special and there's only one of you. Talk to people too, don't be alone and suffer in silence. If it gets that bad, reach out for more support and help. You never, ever have to be on your own in this.

Just keep fighting it because it can and will get better. You're welcome to PM me if you ever need anyone or anything. Keep safe and look after yourself.

Jessie

[Ella.x]

I'm moving in with my dad because I can't afford to live on my own at the moment. I'm hoping I won't be there long,but I don't know. I havne't really got on with him since he and my mum got divorced when I was 9. He earns a lot of money (at least 10 times what I earn working 40+ hours a week) and it makes me feel uncomfortable in his house because of his expensive lifestyle when I can barely afford to eat. He also doesn't think that I have a proper job (I am a carer) and thinks that I am stupid for giving up university because of depression and anxiety to become a carer. Basically I just don't feel like he accepts me.

I know it's not bad. I don't even miss the guy, but I can't get rid of the feeling of rejection, it's just getting worse for some reason.

I have an appointment with my DBT therapist next wednesday, hopefully I will be able to hold on till then