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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Daniela95 Offline
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Depressed about my self-image & more - January 16th 2012, 07:07 PM

Having a low self-esteem was never an issue for me, up until last week, all of a sudden I just broke down. I have a tumblr, and I always see images of beautiful women, models, etc. It has never bothered me before until i started looking at myself and comparing. I felt like complete crap compared to these women. I am 16 and 5 feet tall and thin. People tell me that they think I am "pretty", "beautiful", and "cute". But the problem is, what they consider to be beautiful is not what i consider beautiful anymore. I went to Victoria's Secret today to try some new bras, and i barely fit into their bras because I am so small-chested. I own two bras from their PINK section, but the others do not fit me, and I have nothing going on there. Then I got so frustrated and started to cry in the dressing room, then to walk out of the store seeing the big pictures of the VS models with their perfect bodies and everything. I honestly feel like complete crap about myself, and it has put me into some kind of depression. And that is not the only thing going on, considering my dad just lost his job, and I am getting bad grades in school, fights with my parents, I am just starting to give up. I am not going to be able to see a professional because my parents will not let me, plus we cannot afford it. I just do not get a break anywhere. I would honestly love for someone to tell me what the point is to my life. I am not suicidal, but honestly if I knew I was to die tomorrow, I would not care. I have never felt this down before in my life.

Last edited by Daniela95; January 16th 2012 at 07:21 PM.
   
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Katrina Offline
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Re: Depressed about my self-image & more - January 16th 2012, 10:30 PM

Hey Daniela.

I'm sorry to hear that things have been rough for you lately. At the end of your post there, you mentioned several different things going on, such as your dad losing his job and your grades slipping and getting in fights with your parents, and I can't imagine that these things wouldn't be unrelated A) to each other and B) to the low self-esteem issues you're going through lately.

As far as your dad losing his job goes, it doesn't sound like there's a whole, whole lot that YOU can do to control that situation (as frustrating at it is, because its definitely hard to see someone like a parent be in such a vulnerable situation), but it does sound like you might be able to do something about the slipping grades and the fights with your parents. Are the fights with your parents about the slipping grades, per chance? If so, we'll be knocking out two birds with one stone, which'll be great. Have you thought about emailing your teachers to schedule appointments with them to discuss your grades? I know it's something extra to have to do, but I really think it can help. You kinda get the inside scoop as to how you should study for things, and honestly, that's what teachers are paid for--to help students succeed! Additionally, it establishes a more personal relationship with your teachers, and at least in college, I know that professors do have some sway over your final grades and WILL look at how much effort you've put forth in the class (doing things like coming to speak with them after class and asking questions and things). And that can always help. (:

I know you mentioned that going to see a professional is a bit out of the question, but I'm wondering if your school has a guidance department? Many of the counselors in the school guidance department have the same educational background (or similar ones, at least) as outside professionals, and if they've been at your school (or in the education system in general) for a while, its likely that they've seen a student in a similar situation to your own. At any rate, know that you're certainly not alone and don't have to go through this on your own.

Lastly, of course, is the self-esteem issues. Honestly, if you've made it to where you are now without having a low self-esteem thus far, I have to say that I think you're doing very well with keeping your esteem up! I know that doesn't help you now, but its so easy to fall into a low self-esteem in the teenage years, especially since we're surrounded with things like these online sites and magazines constantly. Know that you're beautiful. And that beauty does so not depend on something like the size of your chest. Seriously. I think we probably all have similar things that we wish we could make slightly different or could change in some way, but its a great feeling to be able to be happy with your body the way it is, and I know this feeling will hopefully return to you soon, Daniela. In the meantime, try not to get bogged down with all of the airbrushed models out there.

Take good care of yourself, okay?



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viemexis Offline
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Re: Depressed about my self-image & more - January 17th 2012, 12:51 AM

Those women in the photos you're comparing yourself to are probably photoshopped and don't even look like that in real life. But even if they did, you don't have to be like them. There are many types of beauty, and you don't need to conform to their standard. If other people around you are calling you beautiful, you should believe them. They probably know what they are talking about.

For the record, the prettiest girl I went to high school with was almost totally flat chested. Who cares? Don't let marketing dictate your self-image.


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