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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Forget it. - February 3rd 2012, 04:11 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have never wanted to kill myself more. I don't want to go to school on Monday, because I know that there's seriously no fucking point. One, I'm not going to learn anything, and two, nobody will actually care if I'm there. I had a friend, but I'm boring, apparently, so she's found somebody that she can actually relate to, somebody who drinks and actually has a life, not whatever the fuck I've had for the past sixteen years. Oh, and my old ex-friend who I stopped hanging around because she steals my stuff? She's made friends with my new friend and is making up shit about how she fits into their problems or whatever. She's a liar too.

I honestly think that if I wasn't so passive, I'd be dead right now. There really isn't any point to me living; I' too boring for friends, I'm never going to get to university (especially since I'm stopped giving a fuck about my marks), and I'm never going to get out of this shitty place that passes for a town.

And the worst thing about feeling this way is that I don't really have any right to. My parents aren't divorced, I haven't been in any abusive relationships (helped by the fact that I haven't been in any at all), I don't have a drug problem, and I live in a first world country. I shouldn't be whining, but I'm ready to kill myself over bullshit.

I really fucking hate life, you know?
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Re: Forget it. - February 3rd 2012, 04:22 AM

Mmm, I can relate to that. Things were sort of like that for me for a while, then my parents did divorce, and the abuse was lessened a bit, soon enough I cut myself off from my Dad completely - as much as I could, at least.
Things do get better, though.
I'm sorry your having trouble making and keeping friends, but killing yourself won't get you friends.
Being alive with not-so-perfect marks is just fine when you have anxiety, ya know? You have things you need to deal with, just like everyone else does, and you're just as much allowed to have such angst as any other person, really.
I do hope you start to have more positive things in your life, soon.
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Re: Forget it. - February 3rd 2012, 04:24 AM

Please dont kill yourself over the little bullshit, not for me, not for your friends not for anyone else just you, yea you may not have many friends or care about your grades but it doesnt mean that theres nothing left for you in life, and your not the only one in the same situation, i dont have many friends myself and yea I fucking hate life as well, i want to commit suicide constantly self harm a lot, but i know somewhere deep deep deep deep down, that sometimes just getting through all the crap allows you to find the other stuff which makes it seem not so bad, message me if you need
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Re: Forget it. - February 11th 2012, 01:20 AM

Sometimes there isn't a huge cause like an abusive relationship or anything for why people feel depressed. But if you are feeling THIS depressed, you need to tell someone no matter what. Even if you're scared or don't want to, you have to. But I think deep down you do want to because I think you still have a small bit of hope that someone will help you out of this. If you didn't, you wouldn't have posted. Im sorry you have been through some not so great things. But don't use up all your time dwelling on them. Sometimes, we do get sucky friends. But don't think that you will never have any other friends. Don't think you won't make any good friends ever. You will, I know you will. You haven't been around that long, you are only 16. A year younger than I am. I still don't feel like i've even begun to live. Don't think your life will be exactly the same forever cause it won't be. It won't be the same in 5 years, maybe even 1 or 2 years. Don't use whats happening now and convince yourself nothing will ever go right from here on out cause that isn't true. It will be better, you just need to give it time.

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